Damaged Lady
by LadyAjax
Summary: Olivia Benson has decided to put herself and her job first and give men a break for a while. One day she meets a tall, handsome stranger who sparks her interest. How long will it take before she discovers his true nature? My take on how things might've been if Benson had been blinded by the charm of one William Lewis. Takes place after Elliot leaves SVU. (Mature readers only)
1. Bad Guy

Detective Olivia Benson awoke from her dreamless sleep, vaguely aware that it was early around mid-morning. It was the first time in a while she'd slept for more than 4 hours at a time, and she still wasn't quite ready to get up yet. After another particularly grueling case dealing with a piano teacher who was molesting his students, Captain Cragen ordered Olivia to take a week's vacation, no work related activity whatsoever, no negotiations. It was only day 2 of her mandatory holiday and she had honestly run out of things to do. After fixing her bathroom sink, vacuuming, dusting, doing dishes, finishing 3 loads of laundry and watching hours of trashy daytime TV, Olivia officially had no idea what to do with herself.

She now breathed a heavy sigh as she rolled herself onto her back and forced her eyes open, contemplating her options for how she could spend her day. She finally settled on doing what many people liked to do when they couldn't think of anything better to do; eat. After sitting up and throwing back the covers she ran her fingers through her already tousled hair and got to her feet. On her slow shuffle to her kitchen she briefly stopped to stare at the photo of herself and her now ex-partner that stood on a table in the hallway. It had been nearly six months since the tragic shooting at the station house. Since Elliot resigned himself from the Special Victims Unit, Olivia felt as though she had lost a part of herself. It had been so long since she felt her best friend standing by her side. Despite her feelings of shock, disappointment, and abandonment, within a few weeks life had returned to the usual.

 _I wonder what El's up to today._

She spared half a moment to consider the idea of calling him on the phone when she was knocked out of her private thoughts by the distinct noise of her empty stomach growling. Continuing on her original mission, she moved into the kitchen. Reaching out a hand to open the top cupboard she was presented with her only three options: a bottle of ketchup, an unopened box of gravy mix, and an expired can of a brand of Campbell's soup that she didn't even like.

 _Oh right, I forgot, I didn't get a chance to go grocery shopping this week._

Knowing what she'd probably find but trying her luck anyway, she moved onto the refrigerator and pulled open the door: a box of baking soda , and a bag of week old-Chinese takeout. For fun she checked the freezer, and sure enough she found a bag of frozen meat, covered with enough freezer burn to render it unrecognizable. Between her aching, rumbling belly and the breakfast options in her kitchen, Olivia wasn't sure if she should laugh or cry. Being a bachelorette for most of her life, Olivia never found the initiative to stock up on groceries to last her more than a week at a time. She spared a moment to reminiscence about when her ex-partner used to tease her about her dependence on take-outs and delivery and didn't even realize that the corners of her mouth had turned into a weak smile. She heaved a sigh and stared up at the ceiling.

 _Well, I can either get dressed and go find some food, or I can go back to bed and starve._

Purposely dragging her feet, Olivia made her way back to her bedroom to find some clothes to throw on for her hopefully quick and uneventful trip to the mini market up the street.

 _And here I thought I could get away with staying in the apartment for a whole day. Please God, no surprises. . ._

* * *

Olivia slowly walked up and down the aisles, blankly tracing her eyes over the names on the cereal boxes, knowing that she didn't really care for any of them. She glanced at the basket she held at her side, trying to jog her memory on what other fundamental items she needed to pick up while she was there. Deciding that she had at least enough to get her to the end of her mini vacation, she started to make her way to the cash registers. While walking past the freezers, she caught a quick glance at her reflection in the glass doors. She barely recognized herself in jeans, a loose sweatshirt and her hair up in a messy ponytail and absolutely no make-up. Although it had taken over a decade for her to build up to the "business casual" portion of her wardrobe, she had to admit it was a rare and wonderful gift to switch back into "civilian gear" once in a while.

She finally made up it up the check-out counter and began to load her items on the converter belt.

"Bless my heart, I must be dreaming . . . is that you, Olivia?" exclaimed the older gentleman behind the register. Olivia smiled and rolled her eyes.

"Morning, Jake. How've you been?"

Jake beamed at her in a way that genuinely warmed her heart.

"Not as well as you, honey! I barely recognized you without your badge and gun. You didn't get fired did you?" Olivia shook her head as she pulled her wallet out of her purse.

"Nope, I got put on mandatory vacation. My boss threatened me and everything."

"Well it's about time! You work too hard. Too much work is bad for you, it puts stress lines around your eyes and mouth." He eyed her purchases as he scanned them and placed them in the large brown paper bags. "You planning on cooking dinner for a date tonight?" he asked hopefully.

"Nope, just stocking up on enough to keep me alive for the week."

Jake clicked his tongue as he rang up her total. "Pretty girls like you shouldn't be having dinner alone at home. You sure I can't fix you up with someone? You know son has some friends of his from work. . ."

"Unfortunately not all men are as sweet as you, Jake," she interrupted, handing him her money.

"Amen to that, darlin'" He opened the register to give her change and print her receipt. "I don't know what's gotten into young fellas these days, no manners and even less class. I tell you what, if you don't get a date with a nice gentleman, and I'm still alive, how about I take you out for a night of dinner and dancing?"

Olivia laughed as she pocketed her change and picked up her bags. "Well gee, that's awfully tempting, Jake, why don't I get back to you?"

Jake smiled and waved at her as she made her way to the sliding doors. "Don't hurry back with the answer! If my wife Helen finds out she'll have you arrest me!"

Olivia shook her head again as she walked back out into the sunshine, it was windy but warm. As she walked down the sidewalk attempting to carry her two bags along with her purse with only two arms, she pondered the idea of possibly heading back out after breakfast to take a leisurely walk in the park. She immediately thought of Captain Cragen lecturing her, as if he could read her thoughts.

"I should've known you couldn't help yourself. One week, Benson. I told you no work for one whole week. Can't you just stay home and watch Netflix like everyone else?"

 _It's not really working if I'm off the clock, she reasoned with herself. I'm just going for a relaxing walk, getting some fresh air, maybe I'll feed the ducks. . ._

"HOLD THAT BUS! HOLD THAT BUS!"

Olivia was suddenly knocked out of her thoughts by the voice of someone shouting behind her.

"WAIT FOR ME! HOLD THAT BUS!"

She barely had a chance to turn around when the body belonging to the voice suddenly crashed into her and someone else walking in the opposite direction. Olivia stumbled slightly and managed to keep her balance but the man had roughly jolted her arm and she'd dropped one of her bags and its contents on the sidewalk. The man rushing to the corner, wearing a shirt and tie and carrying a briefcase barely yelled a "Sorry, Lady!" over his shoulder before managing to flag down the driver and hop on the bus that was just about to pull off.

Olivia stared after him and groaned as she stooped over to collect her belongings.

 _I can't believe I got out of bed for this._

"Are you okay? Here, let me help you with those."

"Oh that's okay, I got it," Olivia muttered without looking up.

"No, really, I insist."

The other man who had also been nearly knocked over a moment ago immediately crouched next to Olivia and helped her return her disposed items back into the brown paper bag.

"Jeez, some people. . .that's the second time this morning I almost got mowed down." He picked up Olivia's bag and handed it to her and he dusted off his jeans and stood up again.

"Yeah, tell me about. Thanks though, I really appreciate your-," Olivia stopped mid-sentence as she finally caught a good look at the person who had been speaking to her.

He was tall. NBA player tall, she noted. Standing at full height in her sneakers, the top of her head barely came to his shoulders, and she suddenly felt rather childlike standing next to this large man. If she could see herself staring at him with her mouth hanging open, she would've kicked herself. The man looked at her for a moment as if waiting for her to finish her sentence. When she didn't, he immediately put his eyes on the ground as he searched the pavement for something. He suddenly took 2 giant steps and picked up something behind Olivia; a pair of sunglasses that had flown off his face when the business man had shoved passed him. One of the lenses had popped out and the man picked that up too and held it up in front of Olivia.

"Well there's 40 bucks down the drain." He shrugged and placed both the items in his back pocket. "Are you sure you're okay?" Olivia still hadn't taken her eyes off of him yet.

He was young, not exactly in his twenties but definitely younger than her. She had to tilt her head back to look at him, but she couldn't help but stare into his face: he had a strong and sleek jawline, and rather pronounced nose, and eyes that were a hybrid of greenish-brown. His dark brown hair was glossy, as if he had just stepped out of the shower. He was slender but not skinny, and Olivia took half a second to notice his strong biceps protruding from his black t-shirt. He reminded her of a young Marlon Brando. It took the sound of a car horn passing by and a quick shake of her head to snap her back into reality.

"Um yeah, I'm okay. I've been almost-tackled by running pedestrians enough times how learn how to keep myself from eating pavement."

Olivia almost wished she hadn't made the joke in the first place when the man started to laugh; he had large, practically immaculate, white teeth that sparkled along with his eyes. "Wow, you must be a pretty tough lady then," he said.

"I guess so." she shrugged. He was staring at her now too, and naïve part of Olivia's mind wondered if he could even hear her thoughts. She decided to break this awkward encounter before she said or did something she would regret.

"Um, well I've got to get going, but thanks again for the help. It was very nice of you."

 _For crying out loud, you sound like you're his mother._

She had taken a few steps when he called to her, "Actually before you take off, I was wondering if you could help me with something?"

Olivia stopped in her tracks and turned her body halfway towards him.

"I was wondering if you knew a place around here that sells 5Krazy's? I heard only a couple of stores in New York still sell them, and I've already been to 3 different places."

 _He's so. . .long. Is he a model or something?_

Olivia forced herself to stop gawking at him long enough to let his words register in her mind.

"5Krazy's? Oh yeah, I think they sell those in there," she used her chin to point to the market that she had just came out of. "They're in the refrigerators by the front registers."

The tall stranger followed her gesture to the store up the street.

"Oh really? Hey, thanks a lot, you just saved me another smelly ride on the bus." He gave her a wink that almost made her drop her bag again, but she managed to maintain composure. "You take care now, ma'am."

The sound of the last word made her face dim almost immediately, and if the man had not continued to walk on in the opposite direction, he would have seen her reaction for sure. As Olivia turned around and continue to make her way back home, her mind started to take jabs at itself.

 _'Ma'am'? I can't believe he called me 'ma'am'! I guess he was trying to be respectful but still. . .that'll teach me to leave the apartment looking like a soccer mom. . ._

In the opposite direction the young stranger was replaying the last few minutes to himself in his mind. He glanced at the corner market as he walked by, but he did not go in and instead continued to walk leisurely up the street, briefly checking over his shoulder to make sure the woman was completely out of sight. He knew that store carried 5Krazy's, and he knew because he'd been in there once this week to stock up on the fizzy energy drink. He'd only asked the woman where he could find them to make conversation. Of course he had noticed her gaping at him, but he didn't mind, he was used to women staring at him, and why not give the lady what she wanted?

While the random encounter had provided him with a little bit of entertainment, right now he had other plans in mind. He had only been in New York City a week and he was already growing anxious and impatient. He knew exactly what he wanted; he went through his entire life knowing precisely what he wanted and how to get it. It was all just a game to him. A wild game in which he knew without fail, how to stay in total control.

After walking around for another 10 minutes, he found himself in front of an Ace Hardware store. He stopped in his tracks to pull out a credit card from his pocket and tilted the plastic card in the sunlight to read the name printed on the bottom: Trisha Moreno.

 _Just a little while longer, Trish. Then you'll have me all to yourself._

He stared considerately at the name for a moment, getting his thoughts in order, and then slipped it back into his side pocket. He then swiftly walked through the sliding doors entering to the hardware store, but not before depositing the broken sunglasses, which he had stolen, into a garbage can next to the entrance.

* * *

 **I'm not 100% happy with this chapter because it was pretty boring and I think it could have been more detailed. Things will definitely pick up in the next chapter, I promise!**

 **Reviews are welcome!**


	2. Full Moon

**This chapter is a bit more graphic than the last one, but not as graphic as I plan on making the next few chapters. Please pardon any spelling and grammar mistakes as well as any minor inconsistencies.**

* * *

 ** _72 hours earlier. . ._**

"Now I want your essays to be no less than 3,000 words, bibliographies must be all peer-reviewed articles in MLA format, and any essay turned in after 4PM will not be accepted. Any questions? Alright, you're all free to go."

The lecture hall was filled with the mixture of groans and shuffling of bags and belongings as Professor Toney officially dismissed his General Economics class. As the instructor turned his back to clear the dry erase board, the usual group of unhappy students took it upon themselves to stick around long enough to voice their complaints about the tedious assignment due next week.

"Come on Professor, I have a big chemistry exam next week. That's 20% of my final grade!"

"I'm going out of town this weekend, how am I supposed to write an essay at my sister's wedding?"

"I don't even know what 'MLA' means!"

"Can I just wash your car instead of doing the paper?"

The professor turned to his distressed students with his hands raised.

"People, people! Now I gave you all a break by letting you choose your own topic, so long as it meets the set guidelines. 3,000 words are only about 5 or 6 pages worth of content, and I know half of you can finish that the night before it's due. Just relax and do your best. If you have any other questions or concerns, feel free to e-mail me over the weekend, okay?"

After getting some grumbles of agreement, the leftover students finally filed out of the lecture hall. Except for Dana Wagner, who noticed that one of her classmates was still seated in one of the last rows in the hall. Trisha Moreno was slumped over in her seat, her long, black hair draped over her face as well as the book she was using as a pillow. Dana walked over to Trisha's desk and stood in front of it for a moment in silence. Then she spoke in a sing-song voice.

"Miss Moreno, class is dismissed now."

Nothing.

"Trish, the lecture hall is on fire."

Total silence.

Then Dana came up with an idea she was sure would work.

"Excuse me, miss. Did you drop this $100 bill?"

"WHAT?!" Trisha's head popped up immediately, and for a moment she completely forgot where she was and stared in total confusion around the empty lecture hall. It wasn't until she recognized the young woman in front of her laughing that her memory came flooding back.

"No thinks you're funny, Dana," she ran her hands over her face. "And please tell me I didn't sleep through the entire class."

"No, just the last 30 minutes or so. You look terrible by the way, is something going on at home?"

Trisha shook her head as she began throwing her belongings into her book bag. "I had a lapse of judgment and agreed to work more hours at the bookstore. I haven't been getting home until almost midnight lately. Between work and classes and studying, I can barely get a few hours in bed before I'm back up again." She paused to let out an unnecessarily loud yawn.

"I swear Dana, I don't even know how I got to campus this morning. These last few weeks have been a total blur." After packing up her possessions, Dana put a hand on Trisha's back and guided her to the exit and then down the crowded hallway.

"Aw, poor baby. Welcome to junior year life, Trish! You really didn't see this coming when you decided to have a double major? Political Science and-?"

"Latin Studies," Trisha finished for her.

"Oh, that's right! You're Latina and you can barely speak Spanish yourself!"

"Thank you for close captioning my shame, Dana."

The two women walked outside in the fresh air and Trisha instantly felt re-energized from feeling the warmth of the sun on her face. Maybe the warm air would keep her awake long enough to not show up late to work tonight.

She and Dana walked over to their favorite spot to kill time, a giant oak tree just beside the faculty parking lot. As they got comfortable at the foot of the tree, Dana piped up, "So what's your plan for Toney's paper? Think you can handle it?"

Trisha closed her eyes and rested her head on the trunk of the tree, "I think I'll take our wise professor's advice and just pull an all-nighter the night before."

Dana nodded as she pulled her fiery red hair out of the tight ponytail she had put it in this morning. "You're a true inspiration, Trisha. You know that?" They sat in silence for a few mintues, listening to the noises of nature when Dana spoke up again. "So what are your plans for tonight?"

Trish counted off her list with her fingers, "Philosophy class, work, awkward bus ride home, ramen noodles for dinner, then sleep until noon tomorrow."

"You work again _tonight_? Dammit! I wanted you to come with me to see Damon and his band play. It's open mic-night at Billy Goat's Tavern, remember?"

Trisha opened up one eye to stare at her redheaded friend, "As much as I'd like to hear your boyfriend butcher a song by The Rolling Stones, I'm afraid I'll have to pass. But you can swing by the bookstore tonight before I clock out though. "

Dana sighed in disappointment, "Alright, fine. Let's at least do something tomorrow night though, after you've gotten your beauty rest. We need to discuss what we're doing for your big 2-1 next month."

Trisha only nodded in agreement as her friend continued to rattle on and on about this, that and the other. As hard as she tried to keep them open, her eyelids felt as if they were weighted down with lead. She had to snooze, just for a little bit. Just enough to get her through the rest of the day without going through the usual side effects associated with fatigue.

 _I'll just doze off here for a while, that ought to get me through philosophy and my shift tonight. But as soon as I get home tonight, it's light's out for me until noon, no joke. . ._

* * *

"Thanks for coming to 'Speed Read', have a great night!"

Trisha handed the short, round, and apparently extremely stressed out man his book purchase titled, "How To Get A 6-Pack For Dummies" with a polite smile.

"Just 30 more minutes," she mumbled to herself. "Just try to hold out for another 30 minutes." She was so exhausted she could actually feel herself start to tremble and had to prop herself up against the counter just to keep herself steady. Her vision blurred in and out of focus as she eyed the last 8 or 9 people still roaming about the bookstore; a couple of college students like herself, an elderly man hovering around the agriculture section, a rather tall man engrossed in a graphic novel, and a group of hipsters chatting loudly by the magazines. She had been granted the task of kicking them out at exactly 11 o'clock, and it was a small taste of authority that she relished in.

She stared intensely at the clock on the far wall, half expecting to make time go faster. She had gotten so absorbed in her own thoughts she barely noticed that someone was leaning over the counter watching her. Out of the corner of her eye Trisha could just make out Dana grinning at her, wagging her eyebrows suggestively.

"What are you doing here so late?" Trisha inquired.

"You told me to come, you fool. Remember? I had to ditch open mic-night at Billy Goat's, I couldn't take it anymore."

Trisha almost laughed but realized that she didn't have the strength, and opted to give her friend a sympathetic smile instead.

"I was going to go home but I thought I'd walk you to the train station first," Dana continued.

Trisha shook her head, "Nah, you go on home. Shoot me a text tomorrow about the movie though."

"Don't need to tell me twice! Catch you later, working girl!" Dana shot her a wink and Trish gave her a little finger wave in response.

If Trisha's attention had not been distracted at that very moment by a customer with a question, she would have most definitely caught Dana getting stopped on her way out the store by the tall gentleman who had been reading the graphic novel moments before. But Trisha had not noticed a thing, and by the time she had finished helping the last costumer of the night, Dana and the tall stranger had already walked out together into the night.

* * *

 ** _11:45PM_**

If Trisha had not known any better, she could swear that she had imagined her bus ride home. After finishing her shift at the bookstore and bidding her co-workers good night, the only thought she could entertain was the image of her big, cushy bed waiting for her. She took her sweet time walking up the front steps and her house key missed the keyhole 3 times before she finally found it. When she'd finally made it inside the modest 3 bedroom house she shared with her older brother, she had barely shut the door and locked it behind her before dropping her heavy book bag at her feet and kicked off her shoes.

"Donnie, are you home?" she called out into the darkness.

Dead silence.

She flicked on a hall light and then the kitchen light. A message written on the dry erase board on the refrigerator confirmed her suspicions:

 _ **Hey T,**_

 _ **Hope you had a good day. I'm working the late night shift again tonight so dinner is on you.**_

 _ **I'll see you in the morning, and don't forget to lock up before going to bed.**_

 _ **We'll discuss your b-day plans tomorrow.**_

 _ **Love, D.**_

 _ **P.S. The Rocky Road in the freezer is mine. Hands off!**_

 _Looks like I'm on my own again tonight._

Donnie, her 30-year-old brother, was working late at the fire house again. That was the 2nd time this week. When he first agreed to let her move in with him 3 years ago for school, their schedules had been flexible enough for them to see each other regularly during the day. But lately they had both been so busy that they only saw each other for a few minutes a day, if that. She knew his work as a fire fighter would have him working odd hours, which is why her parents had not initially been on board for her moving across the country to live with him in New York. While she did miss him, tonight Trisha was so exhausted she was grateful to have the house to herself.

 _At least he remembered that I'll be 21 next month. I hope he got me that XBox I've been hinting around for._

Too tired to fix herself dinner Trisha opted to pour herself a glass of juice instead, then dragged herself upstairs to take the world's fastest shower. After toweling off she tossed on some underwear and the black, oversized New York Yankees t-shirt that she reserved for sleeping in. She caught her reflection in the mirror as she reached to switch off the bathroom light; her long curly hair had frizzed in the steam of the shower.

'There's not enough conditioner in New York City to tame this mane', she thought, giving her big hair a shake.

Trisha walked back down to her room and dumped her dirty clothes in the hamper by her desk, used her foot to shut her bedroom door, switched off the light, then practically swan dived into bed. Her room was completely engulfed in darkness, save for the glare of the full moon in the clear night sky outside. Lying on her back she decided to do one last check on her phone to make sure she had turned off all the alarms. That was the last thing she remembered before finally surrendering to much needed sleep.

The only sound in the house was her deep, rhythmic breathing.

* * *

 _ **3:30AM**_

Try as she might, she couldn't ignore it anymore.

Nature was calling her and she had to answer it.

Annoyed that it had not occurred to her to use the bathroom before going to bed, she dragged herself out of bed and stumbled around in the dark for a minute trying to find the doorknob. Feeling her way down the hallway (she didn't dare turn on the hall light), she finally made it to the bathroom and quickly did her business. With her eyes barely open she staggered back down the hall to her room, shutting the door behind her. As she began to pull the covers back, she made the mental promise that she wouldn't wake up again no matter what before at least 12PM.

She only sensed him in the room the second before he opened his mouth.

"Back in bed already, Trish?"

Trisha froze in place next to her bed, too stunned to even scream. There was a man sitting in her desk chair behind her.

"You looked so peaceful when you were sleeping, I didn't have the heart to wake you up." He paused a moment, letting his words sink in.

This couldn't be happening; she had to still be asleep. Any minute now she would wake up and find her desk chair empty. Despite her better judgment she slowly turned around to face the intruder. The moon was shining into her bedroom it illuminated him where he sat; he was smiling proudly into her face, his teeth glistening. She tried to tell herself to look away, but it was as if her brain and her body had become disconnected. The longer she looked at him, the colder she felt. It was terrifying.

Had he really been sitting there this whole time? Why hadn't she noticed him when she got up to go to the bathroom?

"If you try to scream, I'll shoot you right where you're standing." He said this in a calm voice but with a firmness that let her know that he wasn't kidding. As if to confirm her thoughts he suddenly stood up, and Trisha could now clearly see the gun in his right hand aimed directly at her face. The sight of the gun made her heart stop but it was his large frame towering over her petite body that truly made her feel ill. He noticed the petrified look on her face and relished in it.

"Please don't shoot," she pleaded, holding up her hands and trying to keep her voice steady. Her eyes never left the gun. "Wh-what do you want?"

He considered her question for a moment, the hand holding his weapon completely motionless. He took 3 large strides in her direction and her cold feet felt like they were plastered to the floor. The gun mere inches away from her now, the intruder used his free hand to brush a tress of her wavy hair out of her face.

"I'm looking at it, darling," he finally answered, his demented smile growing wider.

Trisha's mind started to run wild.

 _No, this can't be happening to me._

 _This is all just a dream, a really bad dream._

 _How did he even get in the house?_

 _How long was he sitting in here watching me?_

 _Just do what he says. Just do whatever he wants and he'll leave you alone. . ._

She took a shaky breath and started to speak, "Listen, if it's money you want-"

He interrupted her, putting a finger to his lips and shushing her.

"No no no, Trisha, baby. I've got everything I want right here." He reached out his long, toned arm again and Trisha held her breath as he used the back of his hand to stroke her soft, brown cheek. Now he cupped her face in his rough hand, running a thumb over her soft lips. She couldn't breathe, couldn't speak, couldn't think. It was as if his very presence had turned her into stone.

He couldn't have asked for a more captive audience.

"Turn around," he whispered.

Something inside her mind clicked at this demand, and she abruptly felt her eyes start to brim with tears.

"Please don't shoot me. Please. . ."

"I'm not telling you again, Trisha." he warned in a dangerous tone. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the index finger on his right hand sliding over the trigger.

Swallowing hard, Trisha took a shaky breath and slowly turned around to face the window on the far side of the room. After a moment she felt him standing right behind her, his chest touching the back of her head, followed by the unmistakable touch of cold metal against her right temple.

She felt the intruder gingerly run one of his long fingers against the length of her spine, almost as if he were searching for something, and his touch made the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

"I see you don't sleep in a bra, good girl."

When she didn't give him a verbal response, he continued using his free hand to roam over her much smaller figure, first running it down the length of her arm, then moving it across her collarbone. Resting his hand on the nape of her neck, he leaned down toward her head and inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent of the coconut oil in her hair and sighing in satisfaction. Trisha's heart thumped so loudly, she was sure that he could hear it vibrating through her body.

She had only one chance, and it was now or never.

She carefully made a fist with her right hand then drew it forward and in one swift motion, plunged her elbow as hard as she could into the belly of the man standing behind her. He heard him groan and he doubled over in pain, then the sound of the gun hitting the floor. Not bothering to stop and look for it in the darkness, Trisha took this chance to run for the door. She had almost made it to the stairs when her head was roughly jerked back by the sensation of her hair being pulled.

There was a futile struggle as she attempted to pry loose the large fingers entangled in her hair.

"GET OFF ME! LET GO OF ME! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

Suddenly Trisha felt strong arms wrapped about her midsection and her attacker promptly flung her like a ragdoll into the wall head first.

Trisha felt the blow of the impact then knew no more.

* * *

 **This chapter was a little hard for me to write because I know pretty much nothing about the layout of the greater New York City area, which is why I chose not to use street names, neighborhoods, give the name of Trisha's college campus, etc. I apologize if it was a lot to take in at once and I know it kind of hopped around all over the place, but I wanted to make sure I gave Trisha a background story to make her situation a bit more relatable.**

 **Oh yeah, and there's also a reason why I haven't referred to Lewis by name yet.**

 **I'm only 50% sure of how I want the next chapter to go, but it's definitely going to be a roller coaster ride.**

 **I hope you guys like it, reviews/constructive criticism welcome!**


	3. Mister

**This chapter is the first of possibly many that will feature graphic language that might make some people more than a little squeamish.**

 **You have been warned.**

 **I apologize again for spelling, grammar, punctuation mistakes, etc.**

* * *

Trisha's head was throbbing in pain, a pain very similar to a hangover she had suffered a few weeks earlier.

What had happened?

Where was she?

Had she been out drinking and passed out somewhere?

Something wasn't right.

She took a chance and flickered open her eyes; she was in her bed. Besides the moon shining through the window, her bedroom was completely dark.

Had she dreamt the whole thing?

She attempted to lift up her head but she could only lift it so far; something was holding her down. In an instant she realized that her arms were bound over her head, tied with rope to the wooden headboard. Her heart started pounding and her breathing became hurried, but she could only breathe through her nose.

 _I can't breathe through my mouth! What's wrong with me?_

"Duct tape," a voice said from the end of the bed. "You haven't been a very good girl tonight, Trisha."

It all came flooding back to her now. The man, the gun, the swelling now forming on the crown of her head, she had not dreamt it at all. This was all very real, too real. He had told her he would shoot her, but she was somehow still alive. She could see his silhouette sitting at the foot of her bed by her feet, but nothing else about him was visible in the darkness. She feebly tugged at her restraints, but it got her nowhere. Her baggy nightshirt was now bunched up around her hips, and she remembered in horror that the only other article of clothing she had on was a pair of cotton underwear.

" I have to admit I wasn't expecting you to be so feisty, so. . .spirited. Your girlfriend Dana hadn't mentioned that during our little outing earlier. Don't get me wrong, I like girl who has a little spice in her. But you're going to pay for that little stunt you pulled." She felt him start to rub one of his rough hands up and down the length of her leg.

 _What was he talking about? How did he know Dana?_

She felt him get to his feet and move over to her desk on the other side of the room, rummaging around for something.

"I would've made it over here sooner, but I couldn't shut her up," he said, pulling something out of a large paper bag. "That booze I bought her didn't help either, not even after we'd started making out in the parking lot. She even gave me her number and asked me to call her, can you believe that?" He shook his head in disappointment as he walked back over to the bed. "You know she actually asked me to go to a motel with her? Too aggressive, not my style, she's crazy about you though."

He sat back down on the middle of the bed by her torso, Trisha could see that he was holding something in his hand out in front of her. What was it?

 ***FLICK***

Her captor tilted the switchblade in his hand so that the sharp metal edge glimmered in the moonlight. Trisha watched him for a moment then began to thrash her head around wildly, screaming wordlessly into the duct tape. It was exactly the response he wanted, even better.

"Your little friend told me all about your situation; school, work, your brother," he continued to turn the blade over in his hand, slowly. He stared at it, almost as if he were in a trance, lost in his own words.

"She mentioned that it hardly left you time for. . .extra-curricular activities. I asked her if you at least had a boyfriend, but from what she told me, you're as pure as the driven snow, aren't you?" He now took the flat side of the blade and gently traced it over Trisha's leg. Trisha began to tremble violently, sparing a moment to consider kicking him, but decided against it. She was already defenseless, and something told her that he would not hesitate to stab her in the leg if she provoked him.

"I knew right then that I had to be the one; the one that was going to make your first time special."

He stopped tracing circles on the smooth skin of her leg to look at her face.

"Are you excited? I know I am."

Holding the blade in his left hand, he used his right hand to run a hand up and down her leg, his movements slow and deliberate. He wasn't the least bit in a hurry.

Trisha was breathing harder and faster now, taking in everything that he had just said, unwilling to believe what was happening, unable to accept what was going to happen next. She continued to shiver violently, wishing with every fiber of her being that she was anywhere else in the world right now.

His hand continued to travel further up her leg, as if he were trying to read her thoughts from touching her skin. He now moved his large hand up to the inside of her thighs, pinching and squeezing the soft flesh between his thick fingers. The sensation of a strange hand touching her in such an intimate way made her squirm and writhe on the bed.

"You like that, honey? I thought you might. You've never been touched like this by a man before have you? No, of course you haven't."

His hand relentlessly moved higher and higher up to her underwear. Trisha once again tugged at the ropes binding her hands above her head, hoping that she could get her small hands to slide out, but the rope didn't budge.

 _No, this cannot be happening to me. I'm not about to be raped in my own bedroom. I'm still sleeping right now, any minute now I'm going to wake up and realize it's the middle of the afternoon. Wake up! Please wake up._

When his hand reached her underwear he slid his finger along the outside of the waistband, and then along the inside, his finger gliding across the sensitive skin underneath it. He didn't have to see her face in the darkness to know that she was in absolute panic mode now. He knew it; he could feel it in the air. He could actually smell her fear, like a predator just before it pounced on its helpless prey. He loved it, relished in it, he counted on it.

He traced his thumb on the outside of her cotton panties, drawing imaginary circles, enjoying the feel of his current prey struggling at his very touch.

That was enough of that, he had waited long enough.

Still gripping the switchblade in his left hand he put two fingers from his free hand inside of his mouth, using the saliva on his tongue to moisten it as much as possible. Then taking the same two fingers, he plunged them between the legs of his captive, forcing them inside of her as far as they could go.

Trisha shrieked at this invasion of her body, but her cries of protests were muffled under the duct tape. Without thinking she began to kick her legs about, knowing good and well that it wouldn't do her any good. Anticipating this type of response the captor took the switchblade and in one swift motion, slashed a cut about 3 inches long across Trisha's thigh. The young woman immediately screamed again into the tape, a shrill and high pitched noise.

"I wouldn't do that again if I were you," her assailant warned in a dangerous tone. He had purposely made sure that the cut was quick and not too deep, it was a technique that he had perfected during years of practice. After Trisha had stopped kicking he continued to brutally thrust his fingers in and out of her entrance, completely indifferent to her feeble cries of protest. On the contrary, he welcomed the sound; it was music to his ears.

Trisha was breathing harder and harder through her nose, it seemed like she just couldn't get enough air. Her body seemed to be on auto-pilot, reacting to his touch in a way that betrayed her brain. He knew she couldn't help herself, it was only natural. This ruthless assault lasted for several more minutes until Trisha thought that she would burst, when he finally removed his two fingers from inside her. He returned them to his mouth, licking them clean, grunting in satisfaction.

"Works every time," he said with pride. "I think that's enough foreplay for now. I think it's about time we got to the main event, don't you?"

Trisha frantically shook her head in protest, terrified that this wouldn't be the end to her assault.

This monster of a man was now using his free hand to push up her nightshirt, exposing her navel to the cool night air. After giving it another once over with his hand, he leaned his body forward and put his lips to her belly. He inhaled deeply, taking in her scent, and then loudly exhaled again in ecstasy.

She's so soft, he told to himself. Unbelievably soft.

He resumed planting unnecessarily loud kisses all around her exposed belly, stopping every now and then to lick and bite her smooth, warm flesh. At one point he actually began to growl and grunt with pleasure, and the sound made Trisha want to vomit. With his face still buried in her belly he used his free hand to reach underneath her body, and finding the waistband to her underwear, he suddenly yanked them down.

There was no denying it now, this wasn't a dream. This wasn't a movie or a TV show where her hero would suddenly come bursting through the door to save her. She was going to play of victim of every woman's worst nightmare, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. The best she could hope for now was that he would have enough mercy to let her survive the ordeal. It was with this realization that Trisha felt hot tears starting to stream out of her eyes. She could only see the outline of his face in the dark, but something told her that he was looking directly at her, watching her for any and every reaction that he manage to get from her. And he knew exactly how to get what he wanted.

He always did.

Without warning he pulled himself up and straddled her tiny, quivering frame, a knee on either side of her hips. Trisha felt nauseous at the feeling of his large man sitting on top of her, it was a feeling she wouldn't wish on her worst enemy.

"Dana told me your mom and dad were worried about you coming to stay here in New York. I wonder what they would think if they could see you now, their precious baby girl." With that he bent forward and grabbed the hem of her t-shirt, and tore into it with the switchblade. He used his large hands to continue ripping the shirt open up to the collar. Trisha's body was now fully exposed to him, and the tears continued to pour as she heaved a dry sob. She knew weeping at this point probably wouldn't help her, but she didn't know what else to do.

The beast on top of her carefully placed his blade on the mattress and she sensed him removing his shirt and tossing it on the floor, and even he was starting to breathe heavily now. He leaned his body forward and placed a hand on either side of Trisha's head. He clamped his mouth down on hers, forcing his tongue past her lips. Then he took the time to plant kisses elsewhere; on her cheek, her temple, her neck and collarbone, Trisha wriggling underneath him all the while. After several minutes of this, he paused to lick and smack his lips. He placed his head beside hers, his hot breath tickling her ear.

"You know what Trisha, honey? I can taste the salt from your tears. I can actually taste you."

To drive his point home, he ran his tongue across a trail of tears running down the side of her face. He sensed her absolute disgust and he realized that he couldn't ignore the bulge in his jeans any longer.

"I hope you enjoyed that little bit of rest you got earlier, Trish," he proclaimed, adjusting his position on her hips, his hands unbuckling his belt. "Because I can tell you right now, you're in for a long night."

* * *

 **Present Day**

Detective Benson dropped her grocery bags on the counter before she could lose her grip on them once again. She then turned her attention to her coffee machine and turned it on.

 _Coffee. I need coffee. Must have coffee._

While her coffee was preparing itself she decided to treat herself to a Denver omelet, one of the handfuls of homemade cuisines she'd perfected over the years. As she began to assemble the necessary ingredients, her mind bounced back to the chance encounter she had less than 20 minutes ago. The face of a certain stranger materialized in her mind as she cracked the contents of an egg into a bowl.

 _So you happened to cross paths with a good looking guy, big deal._

A little smile crept into the side of her mouth as she cracked a second egg.

 _The last thing I need right now is to be sniffing around strange men, especially ones who look like that. This vacation is supposed to be about me relaxing and focusing on myself. I don't have time for that nonsense, I'm not that hard up._

Olivia finished preparing her first homemade breakfast in weeks and savored it in peace. After washing dishes she sprawled on the couch and decided to try her luck again with finding something decent to watch on TV. Using one hand to prop up her head, she used the other to aim the remote at the screen.

 _ **Do you think your significant other is cheating on you and want to catch them in the act? Call now to—**_

 _ **Bad boys, bad boys. . .watcha gonna do. . .watcha gonna do when they come for-**_

 _ **On today's list of Oprah's Favorite things, the latest book from New York Bestseller K.L. Jameson, "How To Enjoy Your PMS"!-**_

 _ **Ricardo, ¿cómo pudiste hacerme esto a mí? Me dijiste que me amabas, pero tenía que averiguar a través de mi mejor amigo que estás durmiendo con mi madre. Y mi hermana!-**_

 _ **Midget transvestites and the women who love them, on the next Jerry Springer!**_

 _ **The results of the paternity tests are in. Antonio. . .you are NOT the father-**_

After about 5 minutes of endless channel surfing, Olivia felt her eyes start to glaze over.

 _I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'd rather be working._

After running a hand through her hair in frustration, she contemplated her possible next mode of action, and settled on her earlier choice to go for a refreshing walk in the park. Figuring that she could use a quick shower first, she tossed the remote on the couch and sauntered into her bedroom to look for something more comfortable to move around in, neglecting to turn off the TV. Busy rummaging through her closet, she couldn't even hear the emergency news bulletin on her last channel selection:

 _ **"The search continues for a young woman missing from Bayville, New York. 20-year-old Trisha Moreno was reported missing by her brother Donnie Moreno early yesterday evening.**_

 _ **According to Mr. Moreno, he returned to the home he shares with his sister early Saturday morning, believing she was asleep when he found her bedroom door closed. A few hours later he grew concerned when he knocked on her bedroom door and got no response. When he entered her room he found it in total chaos with furniture and various belongings knocked to the floor or completely destroyed. Authorities believe that Trisha Moreno was abducted from her bedroom sometime between late Friday evening and early Saturday morning. Trisha is 5 feet 5 five inches tall and weighs 130 pounds. She has waist length textured black hair and is of medium complexion. Both of her ears are pierced and she has a scar on her lower right abdomen from recent surgery. Police are asking that if you have seen Trisha Moreno or have any possible information concerning her whereabouts, please contact your local police department as soon as possible. All information is confidential."**_

 _ **"If anyone has information on what could've happen to my sister, please contact the police. If Trisha's abductor is watching this. . .just please, don't hurt her. I'm willing to cooperate, I'll do anything it takes to get Trisha home safely."**_

* * *

 **9PM later that evening.**

He strolled leisurely down the sidewalk humming a little tune to himself, not in any particular hurry to get to his destination. The night was very pleasant and clear, a beautiful night for a walk. Surprisingly there weren't too many out and about at this hour, people tended to turn in early during the middle of the work week.

His attention was suddenly drawn to a loud commotion coming from a building at the end of the block; it was coming from the crowded bar at the end of the corner. The tall man shifted his heavy paper bag of wares from one arm to the other as he stared inside the window of the establishment to see what all the fuss was about. Everyone inside appeared to be either cheering or jeering at the large TV screens behind the bar: Monday night football. No wonder the block was so quiet, not that it bothered him in the slightest.

Not really a fan of football himself, he spared a few minutes to stare at the spectacle. When one of the teams scored a touchdown, the bar erupted with both cheers of celebration and groans of frustration. No longer even semi-interested, he continued walking down the block. The only person who noticed him was an older gentleman walking his German Shepard. The man continued to walk further and further up the block before he crossed the empty street to get to a side street behind the main road, where there were no streetlights and his tall frame could stay hidden in the shadows. He finally made it to his intended destination, an abandoned house at the end of the block. When he had scouted the building earlier, the boarded up doors and windows and fester of grass and weeds growing in the front yard did little to deter him. Letting his eyes adjust to the dark and using only the light of the moon to guide him, he walked through the gangway of the 2-story brick building to the small stairway that led down to the cellar door. The wood plank he had torn off of the doorway had been promptly discarded in the tall grass in the backyard. Feeling his way down the stairs he maneuvered his bag of items to his right arm then placed his left hand on the doorknob, turned it clockwise, and leaned into the heavy wooden door with his shoulder to pry it open. He gingerly shut the door behind him and bolted it shut.

He carefully counted his steps as he walked to the center of the room, his boots scratching against the cement floor. He reached out a hand and found the string hanging from the single light bulb in the dark basement. He tugged it and the room became immersed in the soft light.

"Hey Trish, I'm back. Sorry it took me so long, traffic was a real bitch today. I don't see how you New Yorkers deal with it. Some guy plowed into me and I kind of broke your brother's sunglasses, had to toss 'em. I managed to buy all the supplies we needed though. Thanks for letting me use your credit card by the way, that really saved me a lot of trouble. " After placing his bag on top of a hardwood dresser close to the door, he turned his attention to the person he had been speaking to. His current hostage was now lying bound and gagged on a mattress on the floor by the wall furthest from the door. She was fast asleep, unable to resist the cocktail of liquor and sleeping pills mixed together in her empty stomach. It was the only source of escape from the pain that had been racking her body for nearly 3 straight days.

"Aww, how sweet," her kidnapper whispered to the silent room. "The poor baby is all tuckered out."

He slowly strode over to the mattress then crouched down beside it, reaching out a hand to stroke the long tresses of the sleeping woman. He petted her gently, as if caressing a small, harmless animal. He stared into her face carefully, as if looking for something. Then as though he had had the answer with him all along, a sadistic smile spread itself across his face.

* * *

 **I hope that wasn't too painful, this was an extremely hard chapter to write. I'm giving everyone a little break in the next chapter, which will be focusing more on Olivia.**

 **Tell me what you think! Thanks for reading!**


	4. Replay

**Finally, another update! I know I promised you guys that I was going to take it easy on your this chapter. . .but I changed my mind at the last minute. *evil chuckle* Warning you now that there is more explict stuff in this chapter and most likely more to come. I'll give everyone a break sooner or later, I just can't decide when. Once again pardon any grammar/spelling/wording mistakes, etc.**

 **WARNING: This chapter contains a graphic depiction of rape.**

* * *

 **Monday Morning, 8:00AM**

Olivia Benson stepped off the elevator and walked into the squad room of the station house, finishing off the cup of coffee she clasped in her hand as she maneuvered her way through the throng of heavy foot traffic. She spared half a second to notice the small crowd of people hovering around her longtime friend and occasional mentor John Munch, who was talking loudly and gesturing enthusiastically with his hands.

"Aliens have made contact with us! I'm telling you, Roswell, Area 51. The government is spending tax payers money to hide the truth from us, what other reason could there be? I'm telling you, long after I'm dead, someone is going to expose the truth, the only reason they haven't spilled the beans yet is because they know that absolute pandemonium would ensue."

Fin Tutuola had his arms crossed over his chest and rolled his eyes at his colleague Nick Amaro, "Man, why did you have to get him started? I've been hearing the same sermons since the first year we met!"

Nick shrugged and held up his hands in defense, "All I did was ask him how his night was!"

Amanda Rollins pointed the pen she was holding at Nick. "Well, now you know better. Let this be your first and last lesson: there's no such thing as asking John Munch a 'simple question.'"

"Mark my words, you all will thank me one day for my wise preachings!" Munch insisted, holding his hands on his chest in mock humility.

"Hopefully this will be sometime after I'm admitted to the country's leading sanitarium," Nick retorted.

Olivia thanked her lucky stars that she had walked into the room at the tail end of their spirited conversation; it was like she had never left.

Munch shot Olivia a smile as she walked over to her desk.

"Hey, there she is! Welcome back, Olivia! So what did you end up bringing us from your mini-vacation?" Munch held out his hand as if expecting a gift. Olivia took the empty Styrofoam coffee cup she was holding and placed it in his outstretched hand. She gave his arm a pat as she pulled out her desk chair.

"It's the thought that counts, right John? Did I miss anything?"

Nick took a seat at his own desk across from Olivia's, "You just missed John's umpteenth lecture in the last week. Today was aliens walking among us, yesterday it was the mole people living under the city in the abandoned subway tunnels."

Munch turned around and pointed a long finger at Nick. "Ah-ha! So you were listening to me!"

Fin passed behind Munch, placing a handful of folders in a filing cabinet. "At least _they_ were listening," he muttered, "I just tend to tune you out."

Munch made a move to throw Olivia's empty cup at the back of Fin's head but disposed it in a trashcan just as Fin turned back to face him. Olivia shook her head as she pulled out a desk drawer to retrieve her own files. "Good, basically right where I left you guys then."

"You seem like you're in a good mood," Amanda observed from her desk across from Fin. "You must've gotten plenty of rest."

Olivia gave her a small smile. "More or less, although to be honest I didn't know what to do with myself after the second day. And nothing makes me miss work like a week's worth of trashy daytime television."

Olivia's colleagues joined in laughter when Amanda's desk phone rang. While she spoke to the person on the other line, Nick took the opportunity to speak to Olivia in a hushed voice so that only she could hear.

"Listen Liv, I just wanted to tell you that I know you weren't crazy about the captain making you take some time off but, I'm glad that you did. You always put your work first which is great but, it's good to know that you're taking care of yourself too. You deserve that, probably more than anyone I can think of right now."

Olivia stared at her partner, sincerely touched by his words. They didn't always see eye to eye on everything, but he was a good guy and he had earned her trust and respect.

"Thanks Nick, that means a lot," she said, giving him a genuine smile.

At this point Amanda's phone conversation came to an end, and she scribbled down some last minute notes before finally hanging up. Without speaking a word to her colleagues, she stood up and briskly walked over to Captain Cragen's office door, knocking twice. She only had to wait a moment before hearing, "Come in."

"Hey Captain, I just got a call from, oh. . ."

Amanda's attention was immediately went from the notes in her hand to the television screen blaring a special news report. Cragen was watching the screen intently, sitting on the edge of his desk, his hands gripping the sides.

 _ **"Around 8:00AM Cecil Humbert, a retired factory worker, was out taking his dog, Molly, for their daily morning stroll around the neighborhood when the Golden Retriever made a startling discovery."**_

 _ **Cecil Humbert, 73: "We were just out taking our usual route around the neighborhood when all of a sudden Molly stopped walking and starting sniffing the air. The next thing I knew I had lost my grip on her leash and she took off into this vacant lot that we pass by every day. I tried to call her back to me, but she wouldn't listen and that's when I knew something was wrong. She went into the lot and started sniffing and barking at something hidden in the tall grass. I went in after her to see what had gotten her attention, and that's when I saw the tarp. At first I thought there was only trash underneath, but then I saw the toes sticking out I knew it was a body. I got a hold of Molly and took off to the diner up to street and called the police. It was horrible, that poor girl."**_

" _ **The body that Mr. Humbert referred to was the body of 20-year-old Trisha Moreno, who had been reported missing by her brother Donnie Moreno late last week. It wasn't until the police arrived on the scene that they were able to make the identification. According to authorities Trisha was abducted from the home she shared with her brother sometime between last Friday night and early that Saturday morning. Trisha was taken to a nearby hospital where she currently remains unconscious, but doctors at St. Xavier's Hospital say she is still alive. While they declined to provide exact details on the nature of her injuries, the police have stated that Trisha has been through 'severe physical and sexual trauma' and that if she does survive, it could take weeks, if not months for a full recovery."**_

The captain now muted the TV using his remote and without looking at Amanda asked, "I'm assuming this what you came in here to tell me?"

Amanda nodded slowly, still staring at the report on the TV screen.

"You and Fin head up to the hospital. Since our victim can't speak, I need you two to round up those closest to her. Talk to her family, friends, classmates at school, anyone who may have seen her before the night she disappeared. Follow any leads on possible suspects. Her brother said she was home alone that night and I have a feeling that he wasn't the only one who knew that little fact. I'll fill in Benson and Amaro."

"We're on it, boss."

Amanda pivoted and went back out into the squad room to alert her partner of their current assignment.

* * *

 **Summer, 1986, Kentucky**

 _ **I've been through the desert on a horse with no name**_

 _ **It felt good to be out of the rain**_

 _ **In the desert, you can't remember your name**_

 _ **Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain**_

 _ **La la la la la la la**_

 _ **La la la la~~**_

 _Samuel Williams gingerly guided his blue pick-up truck down the road, beaming down at his 8-year-old son Lewis in the passenger seat as they sang along with the slow-tempo song on the radio. Lewis stuck is head out of the passenger window, the wind whipping through his light brown hair, his green-brown eyes thoughtfully watching the other cars as they whizzed by._

 _Lewis waited until the song ended before asking the question that had been buzzing around his mind for the past several minutes. "Where are we going, dad?" he inquired, turning to his father." Is it a surprise?"_

" _You'll see in a while, son," Sam Williams replied, ruffling his son's hair. "We'll be there before too long."_

 _Lewis nodded, satisfied for the time being, and then returned his attention back out the window. They continued in silence for a while, the soft rock music playing on the radio mostly serving as background noise. Sam glanced at his son in between keeping his eyes on the road in front of him. Lewis was incredibly bright for a child his age, he told himself. Lewis was exceptionally inquisitive, and always seemed to notice details that even most adults didn't take notice of. Samuel was certain that his son was destined to be someone great in the future, the kind of man who could change lives. The type of man that people would never forget._

 _Suddenly Lewis piped up, "Are we going to Lisa's house again?"_

 _Mr. Williams laughed and shook his head. "You're too sharp for me, son!"_

 _Before too long the pick-up truck turned off the main road onto a smaller side street in a residential area. After driving a few more blocks the truck pulled up in front of a small, ranch-style house with blue and white accents. Samuel turned off the engine and climbed out, but Lewis remained seated, staring at the house where his 17-year-old babysitter resided. Normally his parents would drop him off here before they went out with their friends during the evenings, but this was the third time this month Samuel had brought him here during the middle of the day on a weekend._

" _Now you remember our deal, son? You promise to be a good boy and I'll take you out for a treat, okay?"_

 _Lewis nodded wordlessly, and waited for his father to open up the passenger side door and help him down. Samuel took his hand as they started up the walkway to the house. Sam rang the doorbell while Lewis took in the scene of the neighborhood around him; normally there would be neighbors out and about this time of day, but it was oddly quiet this time despite it being the weekend._

 _After a moment or two the front door opened and Lewis returned his attention forward._

" _Hello there," his babysitter Lisa greeted with a smirk. Her fair complexion appeared to glow in the sunlight, and her round face was framed by her long, rusty colored hair. She was wearing an off-the-shoulder top and jeans that clung to her legs. A look passed between her and his father that Lewis didn't immediately understand. Lisa suddenly looked down at Lewis and the smile abruptly dropped from her face._

" _You brought him again?" she asked in a tone just above a whisper._

" _His mother took an earlier shift at the store today," Sam replied. "I couldn't just leave him home by himself."_

 _Lisa sighed, but moved to the side to let them in. After closing the front door behind them, Lisa walked by them and headed towards the hallway leading towards the bedroom. Samuel picked up the remote sitting on the coffee table and turned on the TV._

" _Now you know the drill, son," he said, looking down at Lewis's large eyes. "You sit here and watch TV for a while, and don't move until I come and get you. Understand?"_

 _Lewis nodded as his father patted his head and handed him the remote. He gave his son a wink as he put an arm around Lisa who had been waiting for him, and lead her back into the bedroom. Lewis watched them leave and didn't turn his attention back to the TV until he heard the bedroom door close and heard the lock click behind it. He eventually made himself comfortable by laying on his belly in front of the TV, flipping through the channels and finally settling on a Looney Tunes marathon. After about 20 minutes he finally heard the familiar noises coming from the bedroom; the thumping of the headboard against the wall accompanies by the frequent cries of passion. Lewis knew by now to just turn up the volume to drown the noise out._

 _After about an hour and a half, Lewis heard a lock click and the bedroom door softly open and then shut. Totally engrossed in the happenings of Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd, Lewis didn't bother to turn around until he heard Lisa speak his name. Her clothes were a bit distorted, as if she had redressed herself in a hurry._

" _Hey Lewis, you doing okay in here?"_

" _Yeah, I'm okay," Lewis replied, turning his attention back to the TV._

 _Lisa sat on the couch behind him, watching him thoughtfully._

"Lewis _, remember how I told you that it's not good for your eyes if you sit too close to the TV? Why don't you come over here and sit by me?" she asked, patting the cushion beside her. Lewis reluctantly got up from his spot on the floor and did as he was asked, plopping down next to Lisa, the TV remote still in his hand. Lisa let him watch a few more minutes of television before gently removing the remote from his hand and placing it on the coffee table. His breathing became faster as he felt Lisa rub her hand across his back._

" _Do you remember that game we played the last time you came over?"_

 _Lewis's eyes met hers as he nodded. He remembered the game very well._

" _How would you like to play that game again right now?_

 _Lewis nodded again, fully aware of what was about to happen next._

 _He knew that 'The Game' was what Lisa told him that she and his father played when they went in the back bedroom together. She told him that it was a game that grown-ups liked to play with each other, but because he was such a smart boy, that he could play it too._

 _Lisa and Lewis had only been into their game a few minutes when something standing behind Lewis frightened her enough to make her stand up right._

 _Sam had emerged from the bedroom, and she and Lewis had not even heard the door open. Lewis turned to look at his father, and the face he saw shocked him to his core. It was a look he'd only seen a handful of time in his short life; the face of silent fury. Lewis looked from his father to his babysitter, unsure of what to do. Was he in trouble now?_

 _Mr. Williams looked from his son to the teenager standing next to him. Lisa seemed to trying to fix her mouth to speak, but no intelligible words came out. The larger man took 3 large steps, and before the young woman could react, he drew back a large hand and struck her in the face. The girl cried out in pain as the blow knocked her to the floor. She instantly put a hand to her nose and mouth, both of which were spurting with blood. He older man moved until he was standing right above her, minimizing any chance she may have to escaping._

" _You disgusting little bitch!" he shouted, striking her across the face once again. "How dare you! How dare you touch my boy!"_

 _He straddled her body now, pinning her to the floor, her face was a mess of blood and tears._

" _Stop, please stop! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"_

 _Mr. Williams ignored her cries of mercy as he moved his hands to unfasten her jeans._

" _I'm gonna teach you a lesson you'll never forget, you filthy whore!"_

 _Young Lewis watched in complete helplessness as his father forcefully pulled off the jeans of the terrified teenaged girl pinned underneath him. His father had now pulled off his own pants and was now prying the screaming girl's legs apart with his knees._

" _Stop! Stop it, please! It hurts! You're hurting me!"_

 _Any other child might have taken it upon themselves to flee this situation, or maybe even crouch in a corner crying out of fear and total confusion. But Lewis felt neither of these options come to mind as his eyes stayed completely glued to the display before him. Almost as if in a trance, he watched his father brutally rape this young woman in front of him, not still entirely sure of what was really happening, taking in all the sights and sounds before him. Something was registering in his mind; it was a recognition that had just awakened something inside of his young impressionable mind._

 _Lisa continued to scream out in agony and powerlessness from the assault that was being carried out on her. When the ordeal was finally over, Mr. Williams stood up and redressed himself, breathing heavily but oddly calm and almost content. His victim simply rolled over on her side and sobbed uncontrollably, the pain that was currently spreading throughout her entire body made it too difficult for her to even move._

 _After staring at her for a moment, Mr. Williams suddenly looked behind him at his son, as if just realizing that he had witnessed the entire ordeal just now. Sam watched his son for a moment then motioned him towards the door. "Come on, Lewis. Let's get out of here." Lewis obeyed his father's command and carefully walked around the form of his babysitter violently trembling and sobbing on the floor. The two of them left out of the house without another word, the sun now beginning to set in the sky. The street was still eerily quiet. After they'd both climbed back into the truck, Mr. Williams placed his hands on the steering wheel, gripping it so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He scanned the face of his young son, who was staring blankly until the dashboard with no legible emotions on his face. Mr. Williams finally let out a heavy sigh and ruffled his son's hair once again._

" _What do you say to you and me swinging by Dairy Queen for a couple of sundaes, hm?"_

 _Lewis shifted his eyes towards his father. After letting it sink in that he really wasn't in trouble after, he realized that the offer of ice cream was to be his payment in return for keeping the events of the day a complete secret. He smiled and nodded wordlessly at the offer, silently confirming his promise to never tell another living soul about what he had just witnessed. With that, Sam Williams started up his small pick-up, and drove off._

 _A little bit later, as father and son were consuming their desserts in silence, Lewis continued to replay the events of the day in his head, every moment from when he'd gotten up that morning to the hot fudge sundae he was currently eating. And in his captive young mind, while it wouldn't become clear to him exactly in that moment, he realized what it was that he was put on this earth for. He could feel the realization start to manifest deep inside of him, and he couldn't help but smile._

 _Young Lewis Williams would forever remember that day as one of the best and most cherished days in his life._

* * *

 **Just to remind anyone who may be confused about the name of our young protagonist, it was discovered during the SVU episode "Her Negotiation" that William Lewis was actually born as "Lewis Williams" and just continued to change his name as he bounced around from state to state, which is why he is referred to here as "Lewis" instead of "William".**

 **I don't know what was harder for me, trying to write the last part using the disturbing flashback story/childhood memory from "Surrender Benson" or realizing that I actually did remember his little story word for word without having to watch the episode again. I decided to include it because I had never read a Lewis based fanfiction that included that part of his past and based on his testimony from the show, it was a major turning point in his life and I just wanted to dive into that using a lot of details that he didn't mention. I guess I just liked the challenge. It wasn't meant as a way for the reader to potentially have some empathy for his character, even though he was technically a victim of child sexual assault, which I can tell you right now is extremely painful to write about. Any way, please tell me what you thought of it and thank you to all my followers for reading. Your support fuels me!**


	5. Attraction

**Hey kids! Well, it's the moment everyone has obviously been waiting for! I kept my promise and decided to give you all a more slow paced chapter that didn't make you squirm in your seat. This one is definitely a lot more tame and I must admit I had to force myself to stay awake while I was typing it out because it's just so rated-G. I'm really just making everything up as I go, but nevertheless I hope this will at least hold you guys for a while! As usual, pardon any spelling, grammar, wording mistakes, etc. (I did a half-assed job proofreading for this one, I'm just too tired right now.)**

* * *

Detectives Tutuola and Rollins passed through the sliding doors of Saint Xavier Hospital, the foyer was oddly serene considering the solemn nature of their assignment. Amanda approached the woman sitting at the large circular booth in the middle of the lobby, she and her partner holding up their badges for her to see.

"Hi, I'm Detective Rollins, this is my partner Detective Tutuola. We're looking for Trisha Moreno's room, would you mind telling us where it is?"

The nurse shuffled through some papers on her desk before she found what she was looking for. "Oh yes, Trisha Moreno. . .7th floor in the Intensive Care Unit, room number 208. I think her brother is still up there with her."

"Alright, thank you very much." Rollins nodded to her partner and they made their way over to the elevators. When they finally made it to the 7th floor, the atmosphere was just as tense, only with more doctors and visitors walking around. The detectives eventually made their way down the hall to room 208. Through the glass window into her room, the detectives could see their young victim lying motionless on her bed. There were noticeable bruises and cuts on both of her arms and one side of her head as covered with a bandage She was hooked up to a respirator as well as a heart monitor that beeped every few seconds as it kept track of her vital signs.

"Can I help you?" spoke a male voice from behind them. It was Fin who decided to speak this time.

"My name is Detective Tutuola, this is Detective Rollins. You must be Donnie Moreno."

Donnie confirmed the statement with a slow nod of his head. He younger man was tall and well built, with a small crop of curly, black hair like his sister. At the moment his brown eyes had dark circles around them, as if he had not slept in days. Fin and Amanda exchanged concerned looks before returning to the task at hand.

"We're so sorry to hear about your sister, Mr. Moreno," Rollins said in a sympathetic tone. "We want you to know that we've been handled your sisters case and we're going to do everything to find the person who did this to her."

Donnie nodded absentmindedly, as if distracted by his own thoughts. "Yes, thank you. And please, call me Donnie. They said that you'd be by to talk to me. I'm not sure what information you're looking for, but I'll tell you whatever you need to know.

Fin placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "We appreciate your cooperation, Donnie. We're just going ask you some basic questions, and we'll try not to put you through any more than you've already been through. Why don't we have a sit over here?"

Fin guided Donnie over to the small waiting area and let him sit down first. Fin took the seat on Donnie's right and Amanda took the seat to his left. After settling down, Amanda took out a pen and notepad from the inside of her coat.

"Donnie, could you tell us exactly what happened the day your sister went missing?"

Donnie stared down blankly into his folded hands for a moment before answering. "Trisha went to school earlier that morning; she had a class around 10AM. I was home so I saw her leave. She told me that she had to work at the bookstore that night and was working until about midnight. I thought I was going to be home around 10, but my boss asked me to stick around and I ended up working a double shift. I left her note, she's been home by herself a couple of times before, I thought she'd be okay." Donnie suddenly stopped mid-sentence, his emotions starting to get the best of him.

Rollins patted him on his back in an attempt to comfort him. "It's alright, Donnie. No one is blaming you for what happened. Can you describe to us exactly what happened when you came home the next morning?"

There was a short pause before Donnie answered, he spoke as if he'd rehearsed his words a hundred times already.

"I got home Saturday morning a little after 8 o'clock. When I went upstairs I saw that Trisha's bedroom door was closed, and I figured that if she had gotten home late the night before that she'd probably want to sleep in, so I didn't bother knocking. So I made myself something to eat and then went to my room to lie down. I woke up again around 1 o'clock in the afternoon, and when I got up I saw that her bedroom door was still closed. I thought that was pretty strange that she'd sleep so late, it's just not like her. So I knocked on her door a couple of times, and usually she'll make some sort of noise to let me know she's okay, but I didn't hear anything. After I knocked a couple of more times I decided to go in, just to make sure she wasn't sick or anything. And when I opened the door. . ." He stopped in mid-sentence, not sure if he could go on.

"It's okay," Amanda urged him. "What did you see?"

"Her room was a mess," Donnie continued, staring into the far wall. "Her covers had been ripped off of her bed, everything on her desk had been thrown on the floor, clothes thrown around, and there was broken glass. And there were cigarette butts everywhere." He added as an afterthought. "I called the police right after that.

Suddenly Donnie began to speak out loud, forgetting about the people sitting on either side of him.

"We're originally from Minnesota. I moved to New York a few years ago for work, that's when I got this job at the firehouse. A couple of years later Trisha gets ready to graduate from high school, and she got accepted into this school here in the city." Something in his mind told Donnie that this was more information than what the officers were looking for, but once he started he couldn't stop.

"Trisha suddenly wanted to move out here with me to go to school, but my parents were against it. It took me a couple of months to convince them that Trisha was a good kid and I promised them that nothing bad would happen to her." Donnie paused again to compose himself.

"I had to tell them about this, about what happened to her. They're blaming me for it you know. They said if I wasn't working all the time I could've been home, I could've protected her. I'm starting to think they're right."

Fin and Amanda exchanged looks again before Fin continued with his questions.

"Donnie, does Trisha have a boyfriend or someone she's been seeing? Someone who might've known that she was home alone that night?"

Donnie shook his head. "No, not at all. I mean she's so busy with school and work. The only person she's ever brought home is her friend Dana, Dana Wagner. They have a couple of classes together, I think they're pretty tight. She might know something. Trisha has her number in her phone."

Amanda nodded, "Okay, we're going to need to get in contact with her then."

Donnie suddenly stood up and walked back over to the glass window and peered back into the room where his sister lay. Fin and Amanda stood as well and followed him.

"I heard she put up a good fight," Fin said softly. "Trisha sounds like she's a tough girl, she'll make it."

Donnie spoke again, this time his tone was much lower, as if it hurt him to even get the words out.

"The doctors said that she was raped, probably more than once. And that the person who did it had her arms tied. They found cuts and burns all over her body, like she had been tortured. She'd probably been crying and screaming for help, but no one ever came. "

Neither Fin or Amanda knew how to respond to this.

"Trisha's a good person," Donnie continued. "She's so smart and talented, I mean she'd never hurt anyone. What kind of monster rapes and tortures a complete stranger for days, and then just tosses them out like trash and leaves them for dead? What if she never wakes up? I couldn't live with myself if she. . ." Donnie suddenly banged his fist on the wall and yelled out in frustration, clearly at his breaking point.

"Hey hey, just calm down, take a deep breath." Amanda urged, grabbing him by his arm. "Listen to me, you can't lose your cool. You have to be strong, if for no one else, do it for Trisha."

Donnie took a moment to steady his breath, staring at the hand he had just used to punch the wall. It was starting to turn red.

"You've got to find this bastard," Donnie proclaimed, his voice getting louder now. "You've got to find the person that did this. Please! He's still out there, he could be anywhere!" Donnie's eyes were brimming with tears now, and he wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to hold them back.

"I promise you that we'll do everything we can," Fin responded in a calm and reassuring tone. "Trisha's the only person at this point who can give us a description, and without her we won't be able to make a positive ID. In the meantime though, it would help if you gave us Dana Wagner's contact info so we can have someone in our squad get in touch with her as soon as possible."

Donnie stared at Fin for a moment, almost as if he was just realizing who he had been talking to this whole time. He took another shaky breath then nodded. "Yes. Yes, of course. Anything."

* * *

 _ **Later that night**_

After a long grueling day of trying to track down Trisha Moreno's closet acquaintances, Fin made the suggestion that they all go out for drinks after clocking out. Miraculously, Olivia had agreed to join them.

"First time for everything," Munch had remarked.

Olivia, Amanda, Fin and Nick all settled on the bar called "Harpo's" a few blocks away from the stationhouse. It was oddly crowded for a Monday night, but the group was able to locate a spot for themselves on the far side of the bar almost near the restrooms.

"So how did it go this afternoon?" Amanda asked, sliding into a booth.

"I think she was a little shaken up." Nick answered, sliding in next to her. "But she said she'd come down to the station first thing tomorrow morning.

Fin took the seat across from Amanda and Olivia sat next to him. "How was Trisha's brother? Does he seem like a possible suspect?"

Fin shook his head. "Nah, his boss vouched for him saying he was at the firehouse until about 7:30 the morning that Trisha was kidnapped. Donnie claims that he didn't remember mentioning to anyone that his sister was home alone that night, but from what I can tell, this wasn't just some random burglar picking houses at random. We're definitely looking at an outside job."

His colleagues nodded in silent agreement, followed by an awkward silence.

"Well," Fin piped up, "on to the next order of business. Who's buying?"

At this they all suddenly stared at each other in a mixture of confusion and disbelief.

"Well I thought it was customary that the one who made the suggestion in the first place buy for the group," said Nick, gawking directly at Fin as he spoke.

"Come on, I paid the last two times, and I don't think I like you all THAT much to pay 3 times in a row."

"Oh fine, _I'll_ pay," Olivia announced. "I'm guessing it's probably my turn anyway. So what's everyone getting?"

"I'll take a beer," Nick requested, "Thanks, Liv."

"Make that two," added Fin holding up two fingers.

"Ah, it's a pretty good night for me, make it three." Amanda declared.

"Boy if I'd known you guys were this cheap, I'd go drinking with you more often." Olivia chuckled at her own joke as she went up to the bar to place her order.

"Three beers, please." She told the bartender. It only took a moment for him to reach behind the bar and produce the three beers. She would've gotten one for herself, but she was really only here for the company. Olivia promptly paid him, trying to stay out of the way of people walking past her from both directions. She moved to place her wallet back on the inside of her jacket, but missed the pocket and dropped her wallet on the floor. As she stooped over to retrieve it, she accidently elbowed the person sitting next to her at the bar, causing him to spill some of his drink on the counter.

"Oh, excuse me, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there. . ."

Olivia Benson had abruptly forgotten how to form words as she stared into the face of the man she'd just bumped into.

 _It's him. It's that man from the other day._

The man she had spoken too dabbed at his pants and then at the counter with his napkin.

"Oh no, it's quite already. If I'd been paying attention I could've moved over, it's my fault." As if on cue he suddenly caught her gazing at him.

"Hey, haven't we met before?" he inquired. "I could've sworn I've seen you somewhere."

 _Say something! Don't just gape at him, say something!_

Olivia shook her head and finally got a hold of herself.

"Um, yeah, actually, I think I bumped into you last week. That day in front of the bus stop? I almost got tackled by that runaway pedestrian?"

The man stared back at her, trying to recall the event she had just spoken about when his memory caught up with him.

"Oh, that's right, now I remember! What a small world huh?"

"Yeah, yeah it is."

Another awkward silence, the tall stranger found his composure first.

"I'm sorry again about that, I swear I didn't even notice you. I guess I was too distracted by this horrible ball game," he nodded towards the giant TV screen behind the bar airing a basketball currently being played at Madison Square Garden. "Well I don't know if I'd call it a 'game' considering that that Knicks are down 15 points."

"So you're here alone then?" Olivia probed with friendly curiosity.

"Yeah, I am actually. I know, a guy sitting in a bar all alone is about as pathetic as it gets, right? I'm not even sure why I just told you that." He looked down at his beer bottle, slightly embarrassed.

"No, not at all," Olivia insisted. "It's actually kind of ironic that you're here. I wasn't really expecting to see you again."

The man peered into her eyes and gave her a shy smile. "Why's that? We're you hoping you'd see me again?"

 _Nice going, Liv. That wasn't an odd thing to say at all._

Fin suddenly appeared behind her before she had a chance to think up a witty explanation for her previous comment.

"Hey Liv, what's the hold up?", he asked, staring at the beers sitting on the counter. "Were you planning on drinking them all yourself?"

 _Right on time, Fin._

"Um, no, actually. I just got a little sidetracked here talking to. . ."

"Lucas," the man finished for her.

"Right, Lucas." Olivia repeated, her eyes still tracing over the man's face.

Fin watched the two of them watching each other for a moment with a look of amusement and mild confusion on his face. He could sense the vibe between them, but wasn't invested enough to comment on it. He hadn't really come here for this anyway.

"Okay, well, don't let me interrupt. I'll just take these and be on my way. Thanks, Liv." He gingerly picked up the three beers using both of his hands and shuffled back over to the booth out of sight.

"Was that your boyfriend?" the man called Lucas asked graciously.

"Oh no, not at all! He's just a really good friend of mine. More like a brother actually."

"Well I'm certainly glad to hear that," Lucas responded with a flash of his teeth.

Olivia could only manage a smile and a nod.

 _Will you open up your mouth and say something and quit acting like a love-struck school girl?_

Olivia took this opportunity to take in his appearance; he was clad in a dark green shirt with a navy blue blazer over it and dark jeans. His hair was parted to one side in a crew-cut, giving him a look that reminded her of the actors in the old black and white Hollywood movies she'd spent watching from her living room couch on so many nights. If he was uncomfortable with the current situation at all he certainly didn't show it.

"Oh, I'm Olivia by the way," she said, extending a hand. "I know it's a little late for introductions, but. . ."

Lucas graciously shook Olivia's hand and held it for a moment before letting go, never breaking eye contact.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Olivia." His eyes seem to sparkle, even in the dim lighting of the bar.

 _He's beautiful._

Olivia was just about ready to excuse herself back to the both she was sharing with her colleagues when Lucas interrupted.

"I, uh, I know this is a little sudden and probably a little inappropriate but. . .can I buy you a drink?"

 _Is he kidding?_

There was no way she could accept that offer, she barely knew the man.

"Um, that's really sweet of you but I don't want to keep my friends waiting."

Lucas shook his head as if trying to shake off her refusal.

"No, it's fine. I'm just a little lonely tonight, I guess I just wanted an excuse to keep talking to you. I mean I don't want you think that I make a habit out of going around to bars and buying strange women drinks. Not to say that you're strange or anything! I just meant that I don't normally do this, I never do this actually. I mean someone like you probably has guys coming up to her all the time asking to buy you a drink. I'm sure it must get annoying after a while, not to say that you go around accepting drinks from random men all the time. I wouldn't blame you at all, I mean I totally understand. . ."

She continued to watch him verbally trip over his own words as he persistently tried to explain himself. If she had not been so entertained by the display, she would've laughed. She eventually took it upon herself to interrupt him.

"You know on second thought, I guess there's no harm in having one drink. But only if you insist of course." Olivia gave him a closed mouth smile in spite of her better judgment.

Lucas had been so distracted with his own babbling that it took him a few seconds to process her response.

"Oh, wow, really? I mean, that's great!" His grin spread from one ear to the other and seemed to illuminate his entire face. "What'll you have? Just name it."

"Uh, how about a vodka soda?"

"Hey, a woman after my own heart! A vodka soda for the lady, please." he directed to the bartender.

When he came back with her drink, Lucas lifted his own drink up in the air. "Your health," he declared as he watched Olivia pick up her concoction.

Olivia could only beam at the kind gesture and she emitted a small chuckle as their glasses clinked together. "Thank you," was all she had to say to that. The both took generous sips of her respective drinks and then set them back don't on the counter.

"So Olivia be honest with me, do you think it's true what they say about all New Yorkers being rude and uptight? Or is that just something they made up to boost tourism?"

* * *

 **Like I said, pretty boring. I felt like I was dragging my feet on this one and I didn't have the same energy for this chapter as I had for the other ones. I know everyone was anticipating when Olivia and Lewis would finally meet again, it just took me forever to decide how it should happen. I also know that I'm kind of dragging things out instead of just getting to the exciting stuff right away, but my main goal for this story is to show/remind everyone of just how multi-layered Lewis's personality is; I'm going for a Dr. Jekyll vs Mr. Hyde approach. Things will definitely continue to pick after this, I promise. Please tell me honestly what you thought about it! Thanks for reading!**


	6. Irony

**Hi everyone! As usual, thank you all for your reviews and words of support. I'm so glad this story is being so well received! I'm actually kind of surprised! Without further ado, here's my next installment. I'm going to attempt to make updates regularly on Wednesday's during the day and not at night (I'm working on it!) As usual, excuse any errors or mistakes.**

* * *

Before she realized it, Olivia found herself immersed in a spirited conversation with the handsome, young gentlemen called Lucas. They went back and forth talking about everything from bad television shows to their favorite junk food. At one point they even got into a lively debate about which animal made the best pet. An hour and two vodka sodas later, Olivia was surprised to find herself actually laughing and exchanging jokes, something she rarely did these days. Olivia was so used to always keeping her guard up, it felt unusually satisfying to actually let down her barriers and have a care-free conversation; it was rare luxury for her. She was also relieved that her new acquaintance didn't seem to be too self-conscious either. In her experience men tended to say the most offensive things during one on one conversations when they were trying to impress her with their "cleverness". If Lucas was trying to impress her with his wit he was doing a good job of hiding it.

Olivia continued to peer over at him as she took another sip of her drink. He was articulate, intelligent, well poised, and charming. His sense of humor was quick without being crass, and he seemed to truly be enjoying her company. He asked for her input on everything they discussed and she never once caught his eyes move to any other place on her body but her face. He seemed too good to be true, and Olivia had been around the block herself enough times to know that things that seemed too good to be true usually were.

 _It's just a friendly chat, don't hold your breath._

Over an hour had passed and the ball game that had been airing on the TV screens behind the bar was over. The crowd inside the establishment was slowly starting to thin out and after a while they could talk softly without the background noise of other loud voices drowning them out. Lucas had just asked Olivia what type of music she preferred when Nick appeared behind her.

"Sorry to interrupt but Liv, we're gonna take off now, you coming or. . .?"

Olivia stared from her colleague to the man sitting across from her, her eyes apologetic.

 _Well, it was fun while it lasted._

"Um, yeah, I'll be right there."

Nick nodded and went to go join Fin and Amanda who were waiting by the front door.

Olivia stood from her seat at the bar and turned her attention back to Lucas who was still watching her closely.

"Wow, I hate to be rude and rush off like this but, I just remembered I've got an early day tomorrow. But this was really nice, I really enjoyed talking to you." She grabbed her coat and put her arms through the sleeves.

"Yeah, you too," Lucas replied, getting to his feet as well.

"And thanks for the drinks, I swear I don't drink like this all the time," she laughed at her own joke.

"No, no, it was my pleasure!" said Lucas, giving her a smile right back.

Olivia nodded as she quickly buttoned up her jacket. She could see Fin opening the front door for Amanda and Nick and gestured for her to follow.

"Well, um, thanks for the company, Lucas. Maybe I'll see you around sometime. Take care of yourself."

She started to walk past him towards the exit when he reached out and grabbed her shoulder.

"Olivia, wait."

She abruptly turned around, completely caught off guard. Lucas held his hand on her shoulder, trying to put together in his mind what he wanted to say to this woman.

"Listen, Olivia. . .I know we just met and this is kind of sudden, and I know you probably have guys coming up to you all the time like this but, I've really enjoyed talking to you, and I'd really like to get to know you better."

She stared at him directly in his eyes and she immediately wished she hadn't.

 _He's beautiful._

"So I was hoping that maybe I could take you out to dinner sometime? There's this Jazz festival in the park series going on this month and. . ."

Olivia gave him a sad smile and shook her head.

"You know Lucas, I'm really flattered and everything but, I'm kind of taking a break from dating right now. Just trying to focus on getting myself together, you know?"

Lucas gave her the most pitiful sad puppy look as he removed his hand from her shoulder. He shrugged and shoved his hands in the pockets of his blazer.

"Recent break-up? It's okay, I totally understand. I mean I just got out of a bad relationship myself. It's rough."

He took a small step in Olivia's direction and locked his eyes with hers.

"I mean I know how it feels to have someone you love and trust for a long time to suddenly just want out. When someone you used to think of as your best friend isn't at your side anymore, it makes it hard to want to trust other people. You just kind of want to keep to yourself, look for distractions. I mean, why do you think I came here tonight in the first place?"

 _Am I that transparent?_

Lucas suddenly dropped his voice to barely above a whisper and took another step towards Olivia. She had to tilt her head almost all the way back to look at him.

"Listen, I'm not trying to rush into anything. I was just hoping that we could spend a little more time together. But if I bug you that much, I promise you'll never have to see me again."

 _He's really laying it on thick, isn't he?_

Olivia sighed heavily, suddenly wishing she had something else in the room to catch her attention.

"I don't know Lucas. . ."

"Come on, give me one good reason why you won't say yes. Is it my hair?"

"No, it's not that."

"You don't date tall guys?"

Olivia chuckled and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"No, it's not exactly that either."

"Then what is it?" he insisted. "You can tell me, I can take it."

"Well for one thing. . .don't you think you're a bit young for me?"

"Is that all? Seriously? I'm not a kid you know."

"Come on, when I told you that John Travolta was in 'Welcome Back, Kotter' you had no idea what I was talking about!"

"That was just a coincidence!"

Olivia raised her eyebrows and folded her arms across her chest. "Was it really?"

They stared at each other for a moment, the answer clearly written across Lucas's face.

"Okay no, but come on give me a break. Age is just a number, Olivia," he added softly.

"Yeah, you know the thing is, it's really not."

"Please?" Lucas pleaded. "What have you got to lose? I'm just asking you to give me a chance. Please?"

He gave her the sad puppy eyes and a boyish smile and try as she might she just couldn't look away.

 _I must be the biggest sucker in here._

Olivia shook her head and slowly pulled out a pen from inside her jacket pocket. "I can't believe I'm doing this." She grabbed a clean napkin from off the bar and scribbled down her phone number. She picked up the napkin and held it up between her index and middle finger before handing it to him.

"This is my cell number, I hope you're happy with yourself."

Lucas gingerly took the napkin and held it in the palm of his hand.

"Well I'm not exactly disappointed," he said, giving her a wink.

Olivia tossed her hair as she slipped the pen back into her pocket.

"Okay, well, I really have to get going now." She tried her best to hide her smirk as she turned and headed for the door.

Lucas stared at the napkin in his hand a moment and Olivia had just put her hand on the door handle when something in him called out her name, "Olivia!"

Olivia stopped and turned back to look at him.

What had he called her back for?

"Thank you." He said with the biggest smile he'd given her all night. He was beautiful.

Olivia gave him a little nod before joining her colleagues outside.

* * *

 **The next morning**

Olivia suppressed a yawn as she walked into the station house the next morning a little bit later than usual. Thanks to the copious amount of alcohol she had downed the night before, she'd forgotten to set her alarm when she finally made it home and overslept. She managed to put on fresh clothes before leaving the house but didn't bother doing anything fancy with her hair; the messy ponytail would have to do.

 _Three vodka sodas, what the hell was I thinking? That's what I get for flirting with college kids in bars._

Coffee would become her best friend today, no doubt about it. She forced her mind to maintain focus as she walked into the squad room. As she feared, the rest of her associates had made it to work on time.

She braced herself for the worst. She passed by Munch standing next to the coffee machine so naturally it was him who chose to take aim and fire first.

"Olivia is it my imagination or are you looking particularly ravishing this morning?"

"Morning, John," she retorted with as much enthusiasm as she could muster this early in the day. She looked like hell and they both knew it. She wished that would be the end of his teasing, but she wasn't to be so lucky.

"Honey, one night stands are nothing to be ashamed of. We've all been there. The important thing is that you blew him off before he had the chance to offer to make breakfast, and decided to show up 20 minutes late to work instead! There's a real trooper!"

Olivia pulled out her desk chair and sat down with more force than necessary.

"Munch, please, I'm not in the mood."

"You're right, I'm sorry. Here, here's a peace offering, you look like you need it." Munch took the cup of coffee he had poured for himself and placed it on Olivia's desk. She shot him a weak yet grateful smile as he walked away. She'd only managed a few quick gulps of the stuff before Amaro came rushing in.

"Oh, Liv, good, you're here. Remember Trisha Moreno's friend, Dana Wagner? She's waiting for us in the captain's office."

Olivia nodded, taking another sip of her breakfast before grabbing her folder and a pen and following Nick into the captain's office. She'd almost completely forgotten that Dana had agreed to come in that morning to speak with her and Amaro about the night Trisha had been kidnapped.

 _Pull it together, Benson._

Olivia walked into Cragen's office and delicately shut the door behind her. Dana Wagner was already seated on the small leather sofa, her hands folded in her lap. She looked up at Olivia when she came in with sad, tired eyes.

"Hi Dana, I'm Detective Benson, Detective Amaro's partner. We appreciate you coming in so early, we're sorry about having to keep you from your classes."

"Oh, it's alright. Besides I haven't really been able to concentrate since. . .you know." Dana nervously ran a hand through her crimson hair. She looked absolutely exhausted. "I just want to do whatever I can to help."

"Can we get you anything before we start?" ask Nick, sitting in a chair across from her. "Tea or coffee?"

"No thank you, I'm okay." Dana said, offering a tired smile to him.

Nick nodded and looked at Olivia as she pulled up a seat for herself next to him. "Alright then, I guess we should get started. Would you mind telling us first how long you've known Trisha Moreno?"

"Um, maybe a year, year and a half? We both came in as freshman at the university. We had a couple of Gen. Ed classes together, we just ended up talking."

Nick took a couple of notes before asking his next question. "So would you say that the two of you are pretty close? For example, how often do you usually see each other during the week?"

Dana stared at the far wall behind the detectives, as if all of her answers were written on it.

"We have class together this semester only twice a week, but we try to get together for lunch every day. Sometimes we hang out on the weekends when she's not working. I spent the night once when her brother was working a double-shift at his job."

Nick scribbled down some more notes but Olivia had the question this time. "And you were with Trisha earlier that day, right? Did she seem upset about anything? Did she mention that someone was bothering her?"

Dana looked down at the floor for a moment, trying to recollect the events of that day.

"Yeah, we were together. We had Economics class together, then we went to go sit outside. She seemed okay, just really tired. She's always running around you know? When she's not in class she's at work, and when she's not at work she's studying, and that doesn't leave her much time for anything else. She told me she had work at the bookstore that night and asked me to come and see her before she clocked out."

"And did you go see her at work that night?" Olivia inquired.

Dana nodded, absentmindedly pulling at her shirt sleeve.

"Yeah, she was working really late. I talked to her for a minute, we made plans to go see a movie that next day." Dana's voice got stuck in her throat at the mention of her and her friend making plans for an event that never happened.

Nick leaned forward slightly, choosing his words carefully. "In the bookstore that night, did you see Trisha talking to anyone else? Was there anyone around who looked like they were giving her extra attention?"

Dana put her eyes back on the far wall again, replaying everything she could remember from that night over and over.

"No, it was pretty quiet that night, just a couple of people browsing." She stopped to take a breath before continuing, as if she was forcing herself to say something she didn't want the detectives to hear.

"I asked Trisha if she wanted me to wait for her to clock out, but she said she was fine and told me to go home and that she'd text me the next day about the movie. On my way out I bumped into this guy. We started talking about the graphic novel he was reading, we ended up leaving together to have some drinks. Trisha was helping a customer when we walked out. That was the last time I saw her."

Dana took off her glasses and placed them on the coffee table separating her from the detectives. She roughly rubbed her eyes in frustration.

"I shouldn't have left her alone that night. She's still not used to living in New York City. I'm always telling her to pay attention to her surroundings; she's always wearing her earbuds with the volume turned up. Someone probably followed her home and she wasn't paying attention. I should've offered to stay with her so she wouldn't be alone, I just wasn't thinking. . ."

"Calm down, Dana. No one is blaming you for what happened," Olivia reassured her. "We're just trying to cover all the bases so we can figure out who exactly broke in and kidnapped Trisha."

"I went to go see her at the hospital a couple of days ago. She looked so awful, I just couldn't believe it was really her. I don't understand why anyone would want to hurt her like that."

"Unfortunately, criminals don't always have a reason when they pick their victims," said Nick plainly. "But we're doing everything we can to try and find the guy who did this to your friend. I know it's hard right now, but you've just got to try and be strong for her, you know?"

Dana nodded, wiping her nose on the back of her sleeve and setting her glasses back on her face. "Um, do you mind if I use the restroom?"

"Oh, of course," Olivia stood up to open the door for Dana and to point her in the right direction. "The ladies room is right out those doors, just past the elevators. We'll be right here when you get back. Take all the time you need, okay?"

Once Dana had found the bathroom, Olivia shut the office door and eyed her partner. "So, what do we think?" she asked, sitting back down in her chair. "Any possible suspects?"

"I think the only person who really knows who kidnapped Trisha is Trisha." Nick replied, tossing his pen on the table.

"The hospital still has the rape kit. We can have them run the DNA from the semen and see if Trisha's attacker is already in the system," Olivia pointed out.

"And if he's not?"

Olivia sighed as she closed her folder on the table. "Then we'd best hope that Trisha Moreno wakes up soon, because she's our only hope."

The two detectives at in silence for a moment, letting everything they just said register in their minds. Nick suddenly got to his feet and grabbed his own folder as he made his way to the door.

"Alright well, I'm going to go find the captain and tell him what we've got so far. I'll be right back. You gonna wait here for Dana?"

Olivia nodded, yawning loudly as Nick went back out into the squad room. She sat for a moment in silence with her thoughts when the message alert on her phone chimed. Normally she ignored any unexpected, non-work related texts she received during the day, but her curiosity got the best of her. It took her tired eyes a moment to adjust to the small letters on the screen:

 _ **Hope I'm not bothering you at work.**_

 _ **I saw this just now and thought of you.**_

 _ **Have a good day.**_

 _ **-Lucas**_

Beneath the text was a photo of a postcard of a sunset on a beach in the Bahamas.

Olivia remembered that she had told him the night before that she had always wanted to go there if she ever had the chance. She smiled as she understood the thoughtful gesture he just sent her.

 _So he actually was listening._

She considered her option to not reply to the message, but decided to go through with it.

 _ **Thanks. I needed this.**_

 _ **Don't text me back though.**_

 _ **I'll call after work**_

 _ **-Olivia**_

On the other side of town in the seclusion of his motel room, Lucas read the text message he'd just received on the stolen cell phone he now held in his hand.

 _Always business before pleasure, huh Olivia?_

He returned the phone to the back pocket of his jeans, then opened the door and let himself out the room into the morning sunshine.

The wide and demented smile never once left his face.

* * *

 _ **This chapter was pretty tame as well, I know one of my favorite parts about writing this story is that YOU guys know what's going on and the characters don't have a single clue.**_ _ **I hope you all enjoyed the peace and quiet, because I plan on bringing Lucas/Lewis back to his usual shenanigans in the upcoming chapters. You have been warned. Review, please and thank you!**_


	7. Run Devil Run

I'd like to start off by apologizing for this extremely late update. I know I promised an update every Friday, but some recent crimes in the news suddenly made me feel extremely bad and I no longer felt like I was mentally or emotionally able to write a fanfic about a crazed and psychotic criminal. I didn't want to feel like I was romanticizing the abnormal behavior that manifests within real criminals in real life. Anyway, I gave myself a little break and I'm feeling better now. I appreciate all of you that have sat by waiting patiently for this next installment. You are the real reason why I decided to push myself to keep going. Thanks so much!

As I promised in my last chapter, Lewis is back to his horrid "ways" again. I hope this isn't too painful for you guys. As usual please excuse my spelling and grammar mistakes. (This is my longest chapter so far!)

* * *

 _ **Kentucky-1999**_

 _Josephine Kaye sat in her car parked on the curb, gripping the steering wheel tightly until her knuckles turned white. She had been working up the nerve for weeks to do this, and it was too late to back out now. She would have to go through with it no matter what, it was either now or never. Taking a deep breath she undid her seatbelt and stepped out of her car. After slamming the car door behind her and making sure it was locked, she walked onto the sidewalk and stared wearily at the rundown brown brick building in front of her. She heaved a sigh as she remembered the exact events that led her to this moment in the first place._

 _Her youngest daughter Angela had been desperate to move out of her mother's house since she had graduated high school. It seemed like every time she bumped heads with her mother, she would make some grand proclamation about finding a job and getting her own place the minute she had saved enough money. Josephine had brushed it off as her daughter simply being rebellious, so she was shocked when Angela found a job as an office manager for a local recruiting agency about a year ago and moved out of her mother's home within months to a small studio apartment above a hardware store across town. The building wasn't exactly in the best part of town, and she had to walk up 3 long flights of stairs to get to the actual apartment, but Josephine had to give her 22-year-old daughter credit for turning her rebellious tendencies into a true example of independence. But now there was the task at hand. Mrs. Kaye walked over to the intercom system and pressed the button next to the number of Angela's apartment. She only had to wait a moment before she got an answer._

 _"Who is it?" came the muffled male voice over the speaker._

 _"It's Mrs. Kaye, Angela's mother!" she shouted into the intercom._

 _There was a long silence as Mrs. Kaye looked nervously around her and clutched her purse to her chest. She was getting ready to ring the bell again when she heard the buzz of the downstairs door being unlocked. She quickly grabbed the door and let herself in, not wanting to stand alone on the sidewalk a minute longer. Standing at the bottom of the stairwell she took hold of the railing and started her long, slow hike up the stairs. Even though she was in good shape for her age, it felt like an hour had passed before she finally made it to her destination. She took a few seconds to catch her breath before knocking on the door. She heard the heavy, spaced out footsteps on the other side of the door, then heard the distinct sound of the door being unbolted just before it swung open to reveal the gangly man standing on the other side._

 _"Mrs. Kaye, what a pleasant surprise."_

 _Josephine could hardly mask the look of contempt on her face as she watched him take a swig from the bottle of beer in his hand._

 _"Lewis," she said in a voice as civil as she could make it. "Thank you for buzzing me in."_

 _"Well Angie's at work right now so—"_

 _"Yes, I know," she said, cutting him off. "I wanted to talk to you alone."_

 _Lewis took another drink of beer, watching her face closely._

 _"Did she send you here?" he inquired._

 _"No, she didn't. Would you mind if I came in? I won't be long."_

 _Lewis considered her question for a moment before he pushed the door all the open and stood to the side, allowing her room to pass by. After she was inside, he shut the door and bolted it again. "Please, have a seat," he said, tipping his beer bottle in the direction of the secondhand sofa pushed up against the wall. "Can I get you anything to drink?"_

 _"No, I'm fine." Mrs. Kaye replied, gently setting herself down on the couch, the cushion dipping low underneath her weight._

 _The younger man pulled up a chair from the small kitchen area and set it down towards the middle of the room. He unhurriedly finished his beer then set the empty bottle on the floor beside him._

 _"So, what brings you here this afternoon?" he asked, watching her with unblinking eyes._

 _He was the reason she was there this afternoon._

 _Not long after her daughter Angela had started her job and moved out of her mother's house, she had met Lewis while out celebrating with some friends. After dating for only 4 months, Angela had agreed to let Lewis move in with her and he wasted no time in moving his things into her small apartment. When Mrs. Kaye found out she was only slightly shocked, for she always knew that her daughter was capable for making such a hasty move. After many heated arguments over the phone, Mrs. Kaye finally agreed to have her daughter and her boyfriend over for dinner one night. When Angela and Lewis had showed up on her doorstep, everything seemed innocent enough; he was tall and handsome, intelligent and articulate with a good sense of humor. They had gotten through most of dinner before she noticed that something was a bit "off" about Angela's boyfriend._

 _He seemed to get incredibly defensive when Angela commented that Lewis was unemployed and unable to find work, and when she suggested possible jobs he could look into, he got offended and accused Angela of "telling him what to do". Josephine didn't like the tone of his voice when he spoke to her daughter and it shocked her how he was able to change moods so quickly. A few weeks later Josephine and Angela were supposed to have lunch together, but Angela suddenly cancelled out of the blue. She explained to her mother later on that Lewis felt that Mrs. Kaye had not shown him the respect he had "deserved" and told Angela to cancel plans with her mother and to spend lunch with him instead. Mrs. Kaye began to notice that days, and sometimes weeks would go by before she saw or heard from her daughter, and she finally made the judgment that she would have to take control of this situation before it got out of hand._

 _Lewis's guiltless smile right now did nothing to fool her: they both knew why she was here._

 _After collecting her thoughts, she found the nerve to open her mouth and speak._

 _"Lewis, I don't want to waste a lot of time, so I'll get right to the point. Now I know that you and Angela are adults and I respect the fact that you two are free to make your own decisions. And I've tried to keep my distance and hope that the situation would work itself out but I see that that's not going to happen. I came here today to tell you that I want you to stop seeing my daughter, that's the bottom line."_

 _If Lewis was shocked by the information he had just heard, his face showed no signs of it. In fact the expression on his face suggested that he was bored more than anything. He slouched in his seat a bit, spreading his knees and folding his hands. Mrs. Kaye watched him, waiting for him to give a verbal response. When it didn't come, she continued._

 _"Now I remember what it's like to be young and in love, so I understand how you may be feeling right now. I know Angela can be a little careless in her decision making, and maybe she agreed to let you live with her just to upset me. But I'm not going to sit back and watch you take advantage of my daughter."_

 _Lewis seemed to be made of stone, totally motionless. Mrs. Kaye was almost positive that he had not blinked his eyes the entire time she had spoken. Yet his attention seemed to be fully fixated on her. She couldn't help but feel the irritation bubble up inside of her at this subtle display of arrogance. Before she could stop herself she found more words tumbling out of her mouth._

 _"You move into her apartment after seeing her for only four months, no job, no money, you spend all your time drinking beer and watching TV. You're controlling, manipulative, and you talk to Angela like she's a child. You're not what she needs right now. I know that you don't want to hear it, but the sooner you break it off with her the better. When she gets home tonight you just break it to her gently. I know she'll be upset for a while, but it will all be for the best."_

 _Lewis continued to stare blankly into her face, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. His green-brown eyes appeared to penetrate through her face from underneath his brown bangs. If Mrs. Kaye had not known better she could've sworn that nothing she had just said had registered to him at all. There was a long awkward silence before Lewis finally gave a visual response in the form of a wide and demented smile. The very sight of it made Mrs. Kaye's blood turn icy cold; his smile seemed almost inhuman._

 _"Well Mrs. Kaye," he simpered "I appreciate you coming down here to tell me the truth. But I can tell you right now that this is all just a big misunderstanding." He waited a moment to let his words sink in before he continued._

 _"Now I understand your concern for your daughter's well-being, but I think you should know that Angela and I are very happy together. And what we do about our living arrangements is strictly between us and has nothing to do with you. So maybe you and I should just try to get along for her sake, hm? Because I can tell you right now, I'm not going anywhere."_

 _As if to confirm that the subject was now closed, he grabbed his beer bottle off the floor and stood up to go put it in the trash can in the kitchen. Mrs. Kaye watched him, absolutely dumbfounded. His arrogance really knew no bounds._

 _'Is that really all this bastard has to say to me?'_

 _Lewis started bustling around in the kitchen, totally ignoring the woman still sitting on the couch. Mrs. Kaye watched him for a moment, considering what her next move should be. This wasn't over, not by a long shot. She grabbed her purse and made her way to the front door. Her hand had barely reached the knob before she changed her mind and turned around. Lewis picked up the hint and looked at her with his eyebrows raised, silently daring her to speak._

 _"You must think I'm some real idiot don't you?"_

 _"I didn't say that at all—"_

 _"You really don't think I don't understand what's going on here? I've met boys like you before, you know. You magically show up overnight, meet some pretty and naïve girl in a bar, buy her a drink, then you smile and charm your way into her house, and her bed. You tell her all about how the two of you can live together and start a life together, and she's too blinded by love to realize that you're really just a worthless bum who wants to take advantage of some poor girl's kindness."_

 _"Well that's a little harsh—"_

 _" Then the minute you knock her up you pack up and you're never heard from again! Well I've got news for you, young man, I'm not about to stand by and watch that happen! So you can stand there and smirk all you want, but believe you me, you'll be out of here by the end of the month. You haven't seen the last of me, I guarantee it!"_

 _Satisfied with herself, Mrs. Kaye unbolted the front door, yanked it open, and stepped out into the hallway before slamming it shut behind her._

* * *

 _Josephine Kaye began to feel her eyes glaze over as she continued to stare at the computer screen in front of her. She paused for a moment to yawn and rub at her eyes before placing her hands back on the keyboard to resume typing. She spared a moment to steal a glance at the clock at the bottom right-hand of the computer screen. It was 3:00AM._

 _'I always wait until the last minute to finish doing these spreadsheets. End of the month quotas are always the worst.'_

 _Now only dressed in her nightie and blue bathrobe, she continued to peck away at the desktop computer she had set up in her small home office situated in a corner of her living room. She wanted more than anything to retire to her room for the night, but there was still a lot of work to do. If she kept up a brisk pace, she might be done by sun-up and get a quick nap in before she had to get up again for work. She continued to type in numbers and figures for another 20 minutes, her fingers tapping away at the laptop the only noise in the house, before she had to stop again to let out another particularly loud yawn. She knew that without any caffeine in her system, at this rate she would be slumped over her keyboard by the end of the hour. Pushing herself up from her desk, she ambled her way into the kitchen, flicking on the light so she wouldn't have to make her coffee in total darkness._

 _She found her favorite coffee kettle, filled it with water, placed it on the stove, and turned on the burner. After grabbing her can of Folgers and spooning the ground coffee in a large mug, she leaned back against the counter, letting her eyes roam around the room. She stopped at a photo of herself and her daughter Angela, taken at her 8th grade graduation ceremony. Something about the photo tugged at her heart and sent her mind to another place._

 _It had been about a week and a half since Josephine had confronted Angela's boyfriend Lewis at Angela's apartment. Later that night she had called Angela to explain her actions, but their conversation almost immediately turned into a screaming match which ended in Angela hanging up on her mother. She had been giving her the silent treatment ever since. Her intent had been on either talking some sense into her daughter and convincing her to kick Lewis out of her apartment, or upsetting Lewis enough so that he would voluntary choose to leave on his own. Both endeavors had ended in failure, but she refused to accept defeat._

 _She was jerked out of her inner thoughts by the whistling of her kettle, and immediately turned off the burner. She gingerly poured the hot water into her mug, the aroma alone making her more alert. She added a few teaspoons of sugar then headed back to the living room, holding her mug delicately and refocused her mind to the task before her. Josephine had barely lifted her head from the mug in her hand when she was sucker punched by an invisible fist. The blow sent her crumbling to the ground, and her porcelain mug smashed into a hundred pieces on the tile floor, splashing some of the scalding hot coffee onto her hand._

 _"Evening, Jo. You're up late. Working hard or hardly working?"_

 _Her head was reeling from the blow it just received and it took her a second to comprehend who had just said her name. She knew that voice. Before she had a chance to respond she felt someone grab a handful of her hair and violently jerk her head back so that she could see the face of the last person she wanted to see at this hour._

 _Lewis Williams peered down into her bewildered face, his toothy grin spreading from ear to ear. The expression on his face was nothing less than pure terror._

 _"To be honest I was hoping you were in bed already, but I don't mind improvising."_

 _He roughly released her hair and she wrenched herself away from his hand, holding a hand to her now swollen jaw. Josephine took this chance to crawl away from him out of his reach._

 _"How dare you! Get the hell of my house!"_

 _Lewis sighed as if bored, and slowly walked toward the woman still inching away from him on the floor._

 _"You know what, Jo, I don't think you've treated me with the respect that I deserve. And I've been thinking about it and I realized that what we have is just a failure to communicate. So I think you and I should use tonight to get to know each other better."_

 _Once Lewis had her cornered against the wall with no place to go, he reached back a large hand and struck her across her face, stunning her. He lowered himself onto her body, his weight forcing the air out of her lungs. He grabbed a hold of her arms and wrestled her out of her bathrobe, laughing at the sight of the woman pathetically shrieking and clawing at his hands._

 _"Let's get you a little more comfortable."_

 _Putting himself back on his feet, Lewis wrapped his arms around the struggling woman and dragged her back into the living room, ignoring her kicking and cries of protest._

 _"Where are you taking me? Let go! Let go of me, you bastard!"_

 _He hauled her back to her desk and forced her to sit on her office hair. He easily pinned her arms behind the chair, and secured them using one of the zip ties he had stashed in his back pocket, making sure they were tight as possible, nearly cutting off her circulation. His hostage struggled against the ties as he casually spun the chair around and restrained another zip tie around her ankles._

 _"HELP! HELP POLICE!"_

 _Lewis disappeared behind her, paying no mind to her cries for help as he tore off a generous piece of duct tape from the roll. He let his captive let out one last scream before using the tape to silence her once and for all. He took a few steps back and admired his work._

 _"There, isn't that better? Now we can have our little chat."_

 _He reached into the waistband of his pants and produced a handgun, waving it in front of Josephine's face. She drew in a sharp breath as he pointed the barrel of the gun at her face, and he seemed satisfied with the reaction._

 _"Nah, I don't think we'll need this," he chuckled. "Not yet anyway."_

 _Lewis placed the gun on the coffee table, then wheeled Josephine's office chair in front of the sofa where he took a seat. He leaned towards her, putting his elbows on top of his knees. He studied her face for a moment, and then spoke to her in a tone as though he were scolding a child._

 _"You don't know how sorry I am that we've had to come to this point, Jo," he said, shaking his head in disappointment. "You know I was really hoping that you and I could be friends, for Angie's sake. She and I really had something nice going, you know? But I have a mother too, so I understood where you were coming from. I was willing to forgive and forget and be friends, but that just wasn't good enough for you. Our relationship was none of your business, and you just couldn't help yourself."_

 _He reached out a long arm and stroked the back of his hand against the frightened woman's cheek._

 _"I came back to Angie's apartment tonight, and you know what I found? All of my clothes and my things were out on the sidewalk, I don't even know how long they were out there." His voice became dangerously low now, barely above a whisper. "And then I saw a note on the door from Angie, telling me that she changed the lock on the door and that she wants me to get out because her mother told her that I'm mooching off of her and that I'm not treating her like I should. Angie dumped me tonight, Jo, because of what you told her."_

 _He slowly got to his feet and placed himself in front of her until his navel was mere inches away from her nose._

 _"Well Jo, I'll agree with one thing you told me: I definitely haven't seen the last of you."_

 _He gave her face a sharp swat then sauntered back off into the kitchen, his boots heavy on the tile floor. Josephine couldn't see him behind her back, but could hear him loudly banging through her pots and pans. If she could see him, she would've seen Lewis pull out a frying pan and place it on the stove next to her kettle. But she didn't have to be watching him to hear the unmistakable sound of him turning on the burner._

 _While the pan was heating on the stove, Lewis amused himself by going around the kitchen and ultimately destroying whatever he could get his hands on: he tore papers and menus off of the refrigerator, threw a several flower vases against the wall, emptied a drawer full of silverware to the floor, turned over all the chairs around the kitchen table, and even took a few mouthfuls from the milk carton in the fridge before pouring the rest of its contents on the floor as well._

 _It was more than enough torture for Josephine to have to listen to her home being destroyed, but part of her hoped that the racket would attract enough attention to either annoy or confuse her neighbors and move them to either come to her door complaining about the noise, or better yet, call the police. Her hopes would all be in vain._

 _There was more clattering of items as Lewis continued to open the kitchen drawers and rummage around, apparently looking for something. If he didn't find what he wanted, he simply dropped the drawer and its contents on the floor and moved on. He had been riffling through what was undoubtedly a junk drawer when a small blue and white ceramic jar on the counter caught his attention. He opened the jar and found about $5 dollars in quarters, nickels and dimes._

 _Perfect._

 _He took the jar and dumped the coins into the frying pan before dropping the jar on the floor near his feet, watching it shatter with a satisfied smirk._

 _He made his way back into the living room to check on his hostage, who had been slowly inching her way towards the front door. He nonchalantly dragged her back to her original spot in the middle of the living room floor._

 _"Now now, don't be like that, Jo! I haven't even made my peace yet!"_

 _After re-positioning her, Lewis walked around the living room, casually throwing family photos to the floor, tossing paintings off the walls, and destroying all of the table lamps._

 _"You definitely have an eye for interior, Jo. I'll admit that much!" Lewis proclaimed, using a knife to tear into the upholstery of her sofa. Josephine screamed something barely audible into her duct tape, but Lewis disregarded it as he went back into the kitchen to check on the contents of the frying pan. With a satisfied and twisted grin, he used the handle of the pan to carry it back into the living room. He resumed his spot on the sofa and held the pan underneath Josephine's nose._

 _"You know how you were complaining before about me not having enough coin to pay my way, Jo? Can't say that anymore."_

 _Using a free hand, Lewis lifted the front of her nightie up to her waistline, running his hand from her calf up to her thigh. She tensed up at his touch and he couldn't have asked for a better reaction. He took the same bare hand and used it to pull a quarter out of the scalding hot frying pan, paying little mind to the smell of his own flesh burning. Pleasure and pain were one in the same as far as he was concerned._

 _Without another word, he took the quarter and pressed it into the flesh on Josephine's thigh. He welcomed the high pitched shrill that followed and he felt his own heartbeat start to race. He couldn't ignore the adrenaline rushing through his body now, it was the very rush that he lived for._

 _He reached into the pan again for another burning quarter and placed it on her other thigh. Another blood curdling scream from his prisoner that lasted for nearly 30 seconds straight. At this point Lewis could no longer ignore the stiffness growing in his jeans. He mentally reprimanded himself. There was no need to rush, they had plenty of time. If he planned on leaving the state within the next day or two, he would make sure that he got everything he wanted, and more. Whenever they found this woman. . .if they ever found this woman. . .she would never forget this night. No matter what happened or what part of the country he ended up in, she would never forget him; his voice, his touch, or his taste._

 _"You know before you left our apartment the other day, I actually considered pushing you down those stairs? And before that I thought about strangling you. Do you have any idea how much self control that took? You're a very lucky bitch!"_

 _He stared into the face of the woman in front of him who looked like she was about ready to pass out. She had slumped over in her chair, breathing heavily through her only source of air. Her face was dripping with sweat. He wondered how much longer she would last. Lewis used his blistered fingers to pull down the front of her nightie as far as it would go._

 _"Don't quit on me now, honey. Angie would still be going hot and heavy long into the night."_

 _Lewis lifted himself off of the couch and leaned forward to Josephine's quivering head, his warm breath tickling her ear. His voice was so light she almost didn't hear him speak._

 _"Don't let me down, Jo. I want to see if like mother like daughter."_

 _At that final sentiment, Lewis dumped the remaining coins down the front of her nightie._

 _Lewis inhaled the arousing scent of burning flesh as it filled the room, but his real reward was the sight of the eyes of the mother of his now ex-girlfriend bulging out of her skull and screeching in absolute agony just before the searing pain on her bare flesh caused her to pass out._

* * *

How was it? Let me know what you guys thought, tell me your absolute honest opinion, I welcome constructive criticism. I promise you won't hurt my feelings.

Stay tuned for the next chapter to see Lewis and Olivia on their first real date together!


	8. Lies

**Hey everyone! I know this is another long overdue update, I've been struggling over the last couple of weeks over how to play this chapter out just right. I think I got it! A major "thank you" to everyone who is still following this story, as well as everyone who has submitted their review. I can't thank you enough, you are the reason I still continue to do this. As usual please excuse any grammar, spelling, punctuation mistakes, they will all be corrected eventually.**

 **And also a very "Happy Birthday" to one of my followers whose own story titled "Things Best Left Forgotten" inspired me to publish my own fanfiction. (You guys should definitely read/review her kick-ass Benson v Lewis story for birthday present!)**

 **HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SKYDALA! :-) I'm calling his chapter my 'Special Birthday Update'. Enjoy!**

 **(WARNING: This chapter contains a graphic depiction of rape.)**

* * *

Detective Amanda Rollins pulled the large, dry erase board to the front of the room where the other detectives could plainly see all of the enlarged photos, notes, and figures posted on it. She waited a few seconds for her colleagues to settle down before she spoke.

"Okay, here's what we've got so far," she said in a loud and clear voice, "Two weeks ago Trisha Moreno was last seen at her job, the 'Speed Read' bookstore near her university. Her friend Dana Wagner confirms that when she left the store, Trisha was helping out a customer." Rollins took a few steps and used her finger to point to the photo of the redheaded young woman on the board.

"The store closed at midnight, Trisha takes the bus back to the home she shares with her older brother, Donnie Moreno, who was working a double-shift at the firehouse." She now pointed at the photo of Donnie Moreno on the upper right-hand side of the board. "Mr. Moreno's supervisor confirmed that Donnie was on duty all night and didn't clock out until 7:00AM early Saturday morning. According to Donnie, he gets home around 7:30, sees his sister's bedroom door closed and assumes she's sleeping. 6 hours later he knocks on the door to check on her and gets no answer. He finally goes into her room and finds it in total chaos, he immediately calls 911 to report his sister is missing."

Rollins paused for a moment to catch her breath and to open the manila folder in her hand.

"The investigators who surveyed the house found no signs of forced entry but confirmed traces of blood and semen from the sheets on Trisha's bed. An announcement was made later that day by Trisha's brother, asking for her safe return, and Trisha is found three days later, in a vacant lot nearly an hour away from her home, her body completely stripped, covered in burns and bruises and covered in a tarp. Her doctor at Saint Xavier Hospital confirmed evidence for oral and vaginal rape as well as severe trauma to the head. As of today, Trisha Moreno remains unconscious."

There was a brief moment of silence as everyone gave a chance for the information to sink in.

"The investigators said there was no sign of forced entry," John Munch finally piped up, "Are we sure the attacker wasn't someone that Trisha already knew? A late night visit from a boyfriend perhaps?"

"Both the victim's brother and friend confirmed that Trisha isn't in a relationship, and that only Trisha and Donnie have keys to the house," Detective Amaro answered.

"What about the rape kit?" asked Olivia Benson, who was sitting on the edge of her desk.

"I got the results back this morning," Fin Tutuola spoke up, his arms crossed in front of his chest. "The perp's DNA isn't in the system. We might be looking for a first time offender."

"I don't know about that," Amaro countered. "The guy slipped in and out of the house unnoticed, he had to know that Trisha would be home alone. That doesn't sound like a rookie to me."

Captain Cragen, who had been holding his peace for the last several minutes now spoke up, his tone serious. "Here's what we're looking at people; our best shot at finding Trisha Moreno's attacker is if we get his description. Unfortunately the only person who knows what he looks like is our victim, and based on what I've heard, her current state doesn't seem to be improving."

Another tense and heavy silence.

"So what are we supposed to do now? Just sit back and wait for this guy to attack again and hope to catch him in the act?" asked Nick, clearly frustrated.

"Check in with the neighbors of the Moreno's and find out of anyone noticed any suspicious activity in the neighborhood previous to the night of Trisha's attack," Cragen stated plainly. "Also check at Trisha's university and find out if she spoke to anyone else that day before her attack besides Dana Wagner. Someone out there knew that she was home alone that night. Talk to her co-workers at the bookstore as well."

Cragen stopped to stare at the white board in front of him, carefully picking his words. "Trisha's doctors have been told to keep us updated on her impending condition. But beyond that without Trisha's statement, I'm afraid we'll have to put this case on the backburner for a while. We've done as much as we can, all we can do now is wait." To confirm that the subject was officially closed, the captain grabbed his own set of files and walked past his team into his office, shutting the door behind him.

After staring at each other awkwardly, the rest of the squad took this as their hint to disperse. Fin sighed and tossed his folder on his desk. "Well, mama always told me to never work on an empty stomach, I'm going out for a bite. Anybody tagging along? Munch?"

"None for me, I'm watching my figure," Munch replied, patting his abdomen.

"Count me out too," said Rollins, seating herself at her desk. "I've got some work I need to catch up on."

"I'll go with you, Fin," Nick offered, putting on his jacket. He took a step to follow Fin then turned to look over his shoulder at Rollins. "I'll bring you something back." She nodded and smiled gratefully in return.

"Thanks, Nick."

Fin started to put on his own jacket, then noticed Olivia sitting behind her desk, massaging the space between her eyes with her fingers. "You want us to bring you something back too, Liv?"

Olivia smiled and shook her head. "No thanks, Fin, I'm good."

With that, Nick and Fin left the squad room and headed for the elevators. For a minute the squad room was filled with the sounds of the usual murmuring of voices and shuffling of papers. Olivia's eyes turned to the folder laying on her desk that had Trisha Moreno's photo attached on the front with a paper clip. She stared into the large brown eyes of the young woman staring back at her, remembering that somewhere in the city right now, the real Trisha was lying in a hospital bed, hanging between life and death.

 _Don't worry. We haven't given up on you yet._

Out the corner of her eye, Olivia spotted her favorite coffee mug sitting on the edge of her desk and decided that it was time for her usual afternoon pick me up, especially since she was passing on lunch. She grabbed her mug and headed for the coffee station, becoming so engrossed in her own thoughts that she didn't even notice Detective Rollins who had appeared on her left side.

"You skipped out on lunch, you feeling okay?" Rollins asked with genuine concern.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. I just didn't want to fill up too much."

"Why? You made plans tonight?" Amanda began to pour coffee into the travel mug she brought with her to work every day.

"Mmm, yeah, kind of," Olivia responded, sipping at her coffee, avoiding eye contact.

"What, you mean like a date?" Rollins inquired. "A dinner date? _You?_ "

Olivia shot her a hurt look and the younger woman immediately felt ashamed.

"I'm sorry, you know I didn't mean it like that. It's just that. . ."

"It's okay," Olivia interrupted, shaking her head. "It's not exactly a secret that I don't get out much. I'm actually kind of surprised myself."

Amanda tore open a small, white packet of sugar and dumped the contents into her mug, eyeing the entrance to the squad room making sure that no one could overhear them. "So, is it an old friend?" she pressed, trying her luck.

"Not really," Olivia answered, heading back toward her desk, with Amanda close behind.

"An ex-colleague?" Amanda probed further, trying to sound as casual as possible.

Olivia looked the younger woman straight in the eyes as she settled back in her desk chair and set her steaming mug down in front of her.

"No, Amanda, it is not an ex-colleague."

"Oh, okay." Amanda nodded, taking the hint and moving back to her own desk. "Sorry for prying, it's none of my business."

Olivia watched her go, making sure that Rollins had sat down before turning her eyes back on the work in front of her. She had just logged back onto her computer when she heard the fast shuffling of footsteps coming toward her.

"It's that guy! That guy you were talking to at the bar last week, isn't it?" Amanda asked in what she no doubt thought would pass for a whisper. "He asked you out didn't he?"

Olivia sighed and leaned back in her chair. "Rollins, I really don't make a habit out of discussing my private life at work. . ."

Amanda held up her hands in defense. "No, no, I get it. It's just that I'm happy for you, you know? I mean before we left that night and I saw you both sitting there, you really looked like you were hitting it off. I know it can't be easy for you to meet guys on account of work and everything. Not to say that that's your fault either. And then with this case we're working and everything, I figured you might be stressing out a bit. Not that you'd be wrong for stressing out, but. . ."

Olivia stared at the blonde woman, her mouth hanging open, unsure of what was happening or of how she was supposed to respond.

"I'm just happy for you," Amanda said, finally reaching her point. "I hope you have fun. I hope everything works out."

Amanda gave a nervous smile, hoping she had not pissed off her older colleague by prying into her business. Olivia returned the smile and leaned forward, resting her elbows on the desk. "Thanks, Rollins. I appreciate it. Just one thing though," she proclaimed, before Amanda could return to her desk. "I'd also appreciate it if you just kept this between me and you."

Amanda nodded and made the gesture of locking her lips with an invisible key. "Mum's the word." She assured her. Olivia tapped a pen against the palm of her hand, thoughtfully watching Rollins as she returned to her work.

 _What are the odds that I just totally jinxed my plans for this evening?_

* * *

"Welcome to Leona's, table for two?"

The young male host bobbed his head and grabbed two large menus from behind the counter as he motioned the couple to follow him. "Is a table out on the patio alright?"

"Sure, that sounds nice," Olivia answered back. She gave Lucas a little smile as he gestured her to go first. The host led them to the far side of the restaurant to a large pair of opened, wood-panel doors, leading to the spacious patio-area, with dozens of tables and chairs set up underneath a large awning with decorative lights. The host pulled out Olivia's chair for her then her she and Lucas their menus.

"A server will be with you momentarily."

Olivia and Lucas thanked the host before he promptly excused himself and the two of them took a moment to take in their surroundings. Olivia was particularly captivated by the lamps emitting soft, glowing light around the patio, with the smaller versions of said lamps decorating the tables in place of candles.

"If I had known we would be eating dinner at such a classy restaurant, I would've worn something nicer," she admitted.

"That makes two of us," Lucas confirmed, picking at his shirt. "But I've never eaten here before, just walked past it a couple of times."

"It's fine," Olivia insisted. "At least it's night time so no one will be looking at me."

"Their loss," Lucas countered, grinning directly at her. He suddenly looked down awkwardly at the table, smile still in place. "That was an incredibly cheesy thing to say, wasn't it?" he said more to himself than to the woman sitting across from him.

"No, not at all," Olivia said reassuringly. "Well, maybe just a little…"

They both erupted in laughter and Olivia admitted to herself that she could not be more at ease.

As they both began to browse over the menu, Olivia took this chance to sneak a peek across the table. It was Lucas who had chosen to make the first move when he had called her one day after work about the opening of a nearby art gallery. She had wanted to turn him down out of simple habit, but she managed to talk herself out of it. With the stress of her current workload weighing upon her, she knew that one night out would probably do her some good. And there was no harm in just one date, right? As Lucas had assured her over the phone, if things went sour, she'd never have to see him again.

Earlier that day after her little chat with Amanda, Olivia was convinced that she had jinxed the entire evening by talking about it out loud, and once she made it home after work, she spent 40 minutes digging through her closet looking for something acceptable to wear, all the while contemplating everything that could possibly go wrong.

 _He'll call you 30 minutes before you're supposed to head out to tell you he can't make it. His guilt will suddenly kick in at the last minute and he'll confess some dark secret he's been hiding all of this time. That he's married with three kids, or that he's an ex-convict, or he still lives with his mother, or that he's decided to come out of the closet._

Doomed dates of the past had steadily lowered her expectations over the years, but tonight the universe seemed to finally cut her a break. Lucas had agreed to meet her at the art gallery instead of picking her up at her apartment, an arrangement Olivia had found almost suspiciously appropriate. After trying on nearly every outfit she'd never wear to work, she settled on a simple black silk top with lace trim and matching black shirt with white accents that came down to her knees. She also decided to play it safe with her footwear and wore a black pair of leather, open-toed heels that she figured wouldn't cause her too much pain to walk around in for about an hour in an art gallery.

Lucas had already been waiting for her outside the building when she arrived, and the sight of him nearly made her trip in her heels. Lucas wore a light blue, long sleeved dress shirt and dark navy dress pants that complimented his tall frame. He positively beamed once he saw Olivia walking towards him, and even while dressed semi-casual, she had to admit that he looked as though he came straight out of two or three pages of Gentleman's Quarterly magazine.

After they had entered the gallery, they took their time mingling with the other attendants and chatting about the featured artist of the night, a sculptor named JB Bellmiere. After they had their fill of gazing at overpriced works of art, Lucas asked her if she was hungry. Olivia had replied nonchalantly that she "could eat", because she wasn't about to tell him that she had been starving herself since breakfast. Lucas told her that there was a nice Italian place a few blocks away and time seemed to fly as they conversed while they walked. Lucas was witty and polite, whenever he made a joke, it was genuinely funny without being unnecessarily crass. In fact Olivia had been so engrossed in their conversation that it didn't even bother her that she had to hasten her steps every so often to keep up with his long strides.

When Lucas mentioned their destination, Olivia had been expecting a little mom and pop Italian restaurant for their first casual outing together, not an upscale bistro. She reasoned that her shock came from the fact that she rarely got the opportunity to eat at fancy restaurants, as evidenced by her kitchen drawer back at home that was nearly spilling over with take-out menus. She tore her eyes away from Lucas back to the menu in front of her and promised herself not to say or do anything to embarrass herself. This was proving to be her first nice night out in a long time and she wanted to savor it while she could.

After they had ordered their cocktails and their entrees, the couple found themselves easily sliding back into conversation. Nothing about it was forced or phony, Lucas truly listened to her when she spoke and vice versa. They discussed everything from where they were from, to what they were like high school; Lucas was originally from the West Coast and moved around frequently due to his father's job. He was a starter on his high school's basketball team until a bad knee injury forced him to quit and he was also crowned homecoming king his senior year. They shared a good, long laugh at his story about how he and a group of friends performed as the Spice Girls, in full costume, for the school talent show and won second place.

"It's true!" he insisted. "My English teacher said I was the best Posh Spice he had ever seen, almost better than the real thing!"

"I can't imagine anyone accusing you of trying to pass for Victoria Beckham!" Olivia said, trying to catch her breath. After taking a sip of her cocktail, she managed to regain her composure.

"You know you still haven't told me what you do for work," she pointed out.

"Oh, mostly just contract work now, anything that lets me work with my hands. There's a construction company in the city that's temp-to-hire and they decided to give me a shot. The job market is still pretty rough and I take what I can get. What about you?"

Olivia peered at him over the rim of her glass, taking her time before answering. "Well actually, I'm with the NYPD."

Lucas, getting ready to take a sip of his own drink, now held his glass about an inch away from his lips, staring at the woman sitting across from him, his mouth still slightly open. He managed to put on his best poker face as he replied with a simple, "Really?"

Olivia nodded, her hands fiddling with the napkin in her lap. "I guess I should've mentioned it earlier, right? It's just that in the past men have always reacted strangely when I told them when I did for a living, and I guess I just didn't want things to get awkward too soon."

Lucas continued to stare at her over in glass, soaking in her every word, before taking a quick sip and shaking his head. "No, no, not at all. I completely understand. I mean there are a lot of creeps out there, you know? You can never been too careful."

Lucas's eyes continued to linger on Olivia's face, and she could see the light from the glowing lamp in between them reflecting off his irises. His little smirk quickly grew into a big smile and Olivia found herself smiling back at him in spite of herself. Why did he have that effect on her?

"You know, I don't think I told you how beautiful you look tonight, Olivia. I mean I knew I wanted to tell you the moment I saw you, but I didn't know how to make the right words come out, you know?" He lowered his eyes now to stare at the half empty glass in his hand. "I think maybe it's because I haven't really gone out with anyone since I broke up with my ex a couple of months ago."

Olivia immediately noticed a change in the tone of his voice. "Is she part of the reason you came to New York?" she asked, genuinely curious.

"Yeah, she is." Lucas nodded, suddenly becoming lost in his own thoughts. "I really thought Colleen was the one. She and I had something real, you know? Something strong. She was smart, funny, passionate, great sense of humor. We knew each other inside and out, could tell what the other one was thinking without saying a word. I told her things that I never thought I'd tell anyone else. We weren't just partners, you know? We were best friends."

Olivia listened to his words carefully, reflecting on the last few months of her own life and her own partnership that had also come to a swift and unexpected end. She waited a moment or two before allowing herself to give her input.

"I know what that feels like, to suddenly realize that the one person in the world who really knew you is no longer a part of your life. It's not easy and it definitely hurts for a while, but I've realized that sometimes that's the best way to grow as a person. It shows you what you're really made of, and forces you to keep moving on."

Lucas didn't say anything for a long time, and for a few tense seconds Olivia thought that she had actually offended him by suddenly making the conversation about herself. She was about to apologize for her unintended offense when he finally spoke up.

"You know something, Olivia? I think you're absolutely right."

Olivia breathed a little sigh of relief, hoping that he wouldn't notice.

"And you know something else?" he continued. "I am very, very happy that you agreed to see me tonight." He took his glass and lifted it in the air.

Olivia took her own glass and smiled so hard she thought her face would crack.

 _Looks like I psyched myself out for nothing._

"You know what, Lucas? So am I."

They clinked their glasses together and finished off their drinks just as their server arrived with their food.

* * *

 _Trisha screamed wordlessly into the duct tape that sealed her mouth shut. Hot tears streamed out of the corners of her eyes and spilled down her face into her thick hair._

 _The sounds of her muffled screams and whimpers were drowned out by the heavy, ragged breathing of the man currently on top of her. She couldn't fully make out his face in the darkness, but she could feel his sweat dripping off of his body onto her own and his hot breath in her ear as he grunted with every painful thrust._

 _He was fully aware that she was crying and wasted no time in wiping away her tears with his mouth and welcomed the familiar taste of salt on his lips._

 _"I've been watching you for weeks, Trish," he panted in her ear. "You always looked so unhappy." He paused to thrust into her a few more times, the pain pulsating from between Trisha's legs and spreading to the rest of her body._

 _"I looked at you. . .with those big, sad eyes, and I knew. . .I knew that I had to taste you. . .I had to be your first. . . I had to be inside of you. You'll remember me the rest of your miserable life. . . I promise you that."_

 _Trisha could feel her body reacting to this man violating her, and she knew in the back of her mind that there was nothing she could do about it. She didn't want any of it, she just wanted him to stop hurting her. She knew it even as she continued to feebly tug at her arms restrained above her head. All she could do was continue to scream and cry at this stranger who continued to rape her in her own bed._

 _She wished with all her might that she was dead._

 _"When you look at yourself in the mirror," the beast continued, "When you take off your clothes and get in the shower. . .you'll remember me. . .my hands on your thighs. . .my teeth on your neck. . .my tongue inside your mouth. . . and this hard cock inside of you. No one will want you after me. . .you'll just be a used toy that no one else wants to play with."_

 _He gripped the wooden headboard now, every moment he felt himself getting ready to reach his climax, and he knew his young prey could feel it too._

 _"You like this, Trish? I know you do. . .you keep saying no in your head. . .but your body can't lie to me. I need to hear it from you."_

 _Keeping one hand on the headboard he used his opposite hand to suddenly reach down and yank the tape off her mouth; he welcomed the struggled noises of her gasping for air in between her shrieks of pain. He took his mouth away from her ear and put his face directly in front of hers, beads of his sweat dripping down onto her face._

 _"I want to hear you scream, Trisha, baby. . .I need to hear you scream for me. . ."_

 _"Please. . .please. . .it hurts. . .", was all Trisha managed to gasp. "It hurts. . .please. . .you're hurting me!"_

 _His thrusts became more brutal as they got closer together and it was causing the headboard to bang against the wall now. Trisha was starting to panic as he could feel him getting closer and closer to reaching his peak, the blood pounded in her head each time he plunged inside her. Both their heavy breathing filled the room and Trisha mentally prepared herself for what was about to happen._

 _He took his hands from the headboard and held them under her head instead, his fingers tangling inside of her hair._

 _"Scream for me, baby. . ." he growled one last time._

 _Trisha bit down on her bottom lip in an attempt to stop herself but it was no use._

 _The monster on top of her let out a loud moan as he released himself inside her and she squeezed her eyes shut as she arched her back and screamed at the top of her lungs._

Trisha Moreno sat up in her hospital bed, yanked out of her deep sleep by this horrifying nightmare, and screamed into the night, waking up the entire floor.

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 **CLIFFHANGER! What did you guys think? Please tell me what your thoughts/ideas are on this chapter, and please be 100% honest. Thanks again for reading/reviewing!**


	9. Because Of You

**HI, EVERYBODY! A thousand and one apologizes for this incredibly late and overdue update. It's partially from laziness, partially because of this new gig I'm working, and partially because it took me almost a month to come up with something decent to type up. It actually took me only 2 days to come up with this chapter. I've been re-reading all the reviews you guys have sent me and it is just so humbling, there are no words I can express to thank everyone who is still following this story. I really appreciate all the kind words and support, my greatest unhappiness would be displeasing you all as this story progresses. This chapter is relatively tame, but if you all have made it this far, I'm assuming that you can handle whatever I throw at you at this point. As usual, I apologize in advance for any spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes I may have missed. Please feel free to leave a review and give me your 100% honest opinion, good or bad, I promise I won't be upset. THANKS AGAIN, Y'ALL!**

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Detective Rollins and Detective Tutuola emerged from the hospital elevator doors, their disposition extremely serious. Amanda instinctively wound her way around the halls of doctors, nurses, and patients; her pace was so brisk that Fin had to almost jog to keep up with her. Amanda finally slowed her pace down when they got to the end of the hall. A short female doctor in a long white coat looked up from her clipboard when she saw the two partners approach the doorway to room number 402.

"You must be the detectives from SVU," she said as a greeting. "Captain Cragen told me that you were coming over right away, I'm Doctor Patel," she added, holding out her right hand. She shook Amanda's hand first, then Fin. "It was good of you to come so quickly."

Amanda nodded, still trying to catch her breath. "I'm Detective Rollins and this is Detective Tutuola. Captain Cragen didn't have much time to explain things to us, what happened?"

Dr. Patel looked back down at the clipboard in her left hand and shook her head solemnly. "That's what I'm still trying to figure out." She turned and gestured the detectives to follow her and led them to the window so they could peer inside room #402. Inside, sitting up in her bed wide awake, was Trisha Moreno, the young woman whose seemingly lifeless body they had seen not one week ago. Sitting in chairs on either side of her were her parents, both of them gripping one of their daughter's hands, stroking her back and speaking to her softly in Spanish.

"It's amazing," Dr. Patel said quietly as Fin and Amanda adjusted their eyes to the sight before them. "She just suddenly woke up around 11 o'clock last night, screaming."

"Screaming?" Fin repeated to himself.

The doctor nodded before turning away from the window to face the detectives again. "At the top of her lungs, scared one of the nurses working the night shift on this floor half to death."

Amanda and Fin gave each other puzzled looks before he asked, "So what happened?"

"We still aren't quite sure, but I can say that the longer her condition persisted, the less likely chance she had of waking up at all," the doctor answered simply. ". Her parents haven't left her side since we gave them the news. You're welcome to go in and question her, but she's still a little fragile, so I'm going to have to ask you to be brief for her sake."

The detectives nodded their thanks to the doctor as she made her way down the hall. Amanda knocked gently on the open door, sorry that she had to break up the touching scene before her of two weary parents fretting over their daughter who seemed to have magically escaped the jaws of death.

"Hi, I'm sorry to interrupt," she said softly as the three family members turned their attention to the doorway. "My name is Detective Rollins, this is my partner Detective Tutuola. I was hoping you wouldn't mind letting us speak to Trisha alone for a few minutes?"

Mr. and Mrs. Moreno stared from the two detectives to Trisha, unwilling to leave their daughter alone for even a few moments. Trisha squeezed her parents hands and whispered something to them in Spanish. Whatever she said, they finally rose from their seats beside her bed and made their way to the door, keeping hold of Trisha's hands until the last possible second, but not before Mrs. Moreno kissed and caressed her daughters face one last time. Fin nodded to them politely as they exited the room, gently closing the door after them.

Once the three of them were alone, Rollins approached Trisha's bed slowly, offering a small, reassuring smile. "How are you feeling?" she asked sincerely. Trisha peered up at Rollins as if just noticing her for the first time and Rollins immediately saw for herself exactly how Trisha must have been feeling: she looked like hell.

"I'm okay."

Trisha's eyes were heavy and had dark circles around them, making her look positively exhausted despite the fact that she had been in a catatonic state for nearly a week. Her long, thick, curly hair hung helplessly around her face. There were bruises and burns scattered all around her collarbone and her arms and Rollins new that there were probably more signs of Trisha's assault that were not visible to her at this moment, and not all of them physical. Trisha opened her mouth as if to say something else, but no words came out. She opened up her mouth to try again but it was as if the words themselves caused her too much pain. Rollins gingerly sat down in the chair to the right of Trisha's bed where her father had been sitting. Trisha kept her eyes down on her hands, as if she already knew what was going to happen next.

"Trisha, I know that you've been through so much already, and believe me, I don't want to put you through any more pain. But right now our main goal is to find the man that did this to you and put him away. And in order to do that, we need you to tell us the truth about everything that happened starting from the night he broke into your house; what he did, what he said, what he looked like, any details you can remember that will help us catch this guy. Do you think you can do that, honey?"

Trisha was shivering now, even though the room wasn't cold. Although she already knew exactly why the detectives were here, there was really nothing she could've done to prepare for it. She immediately became immersed in her own thoughts.

Did they really want to hear all the disgusting details of the nightmare she had been put through? About how an almost completely uneventful day quickly gave way to a night that she could not possibly make up if she wanted to? Did they want a full description of all the perverted things that the monster said to her? Of all the places he put his hands when her own hands were bound beneath her? Were they really going to ask for details about all the places he grabbed her, cut her, burned her? Trisha slowly ran her hands up and down her arms, tracing her fingers over the barely healed cuts and bruises.

She could still feel his hands all over her. She could still hear the sound of his voice, his hot breath in her ear, his tone tender yet evil.

' _You're going to remember me for the rest of your miserable life.'_

"Trisha? Trisha, are you alright? Do you need a minute?"

Trisha suddenly looked up; the female detective had been calling her name this whole time. But Trisha could only hear one voice right now, and right now he was laughing at her, taunting her, leaving his eternal mark on her memory. She wanted to go back to sleep, but she knew he'd only be waiting for her there too. She did not want to tell these detectives what happened, but she would. She somehow convinced herself that the worst of her pain was now over, even though she didn't totally believe herself.

"No," Trisha spoke in a broken voice, "I don't need a minute. I can tell you what happened, but. . ."

She slowly raised her attention to the male detective standing at the foot of her bed looking extremely pensive. She didn't know how to say what she wanted to say without being offensive. "I don't want to—I mean, I don't know if I can say it. . .in front of him. . ." She quickly looked down at her hands, embarrassed.

Amanda and Fin exchanged looks before Amanda spoke, "Oh, Trisha, it's okay, you don't need to be embarrassed. Detective Tutuola has been doing this for a long time, so anything you want to say in front of him. . ."

"You know what?" Fin interrupted, "Why don't I step outside and let you two talk alone? Detective Rollins can come get me when you're all done." He really didn't mind at all. If Trisha was more comfortable talking to another woman, then he would gladly step out of the way if that's what it took to get her story and eventually bring in the scumbag who had nearly raped and tortured her to death. He would hear all the details later anyway.

Amanda gave him a puzzled look and started to protest but when Trisha said, "Thank you," she knew it was a done deal. Fin opened the door and flashed Trisha a small yet heartfelt smile.

"No problem."

Fin stepped back into the hallway after shutting the door behind him and took a deep breath.

Interviewing rape victims was always a daunting yet necessary task for him and on occasion he would find himself wishing that he was still working back in narcotics. Listening to victims over the last decade or so re-telling some of the most depraved horrors he had ever heard was a routine that he was more than used to, but that didn't make it any easier for him to endure. Aside from the mixture of pity and fury that overcame him, even though Fin had prided himself on being a professional, it seemed like he could never find the right words to convey his sympathy for the victims. Dealing with emotions had never been his forte, even before he became a police officer, and it was one of the things he privately envied about his currently absent colleague, Detective Benson. Although he was a few years her senior, it was Olivia who seemed to have the better handle on relating to the victims and getting them to open up and trust her. Not that he had anything against his current partner, but Fin couldn't help but wonder why the captain had not asked Olivia to conduct the delicate interview with Trisha Moreno.

Fin alternated between pacing, getting lost in his own thoughts, and chatting with Mr. and Mrs. Moreno. After about 45 minutes his partner finally emerged from the hospital room looking paler than usual, which he found very concerning.

"How did it go?"

Amanda gestured him to follow her to the elevators before nodding to Dr. Patel and Trisha's parents, telling them that they would be in touch soon. When they got on the elevator Amanda seemed distracted and fidgety, clenching and unclenching her hands and fiddling with the buttons no her jacket; she made no indication that he was ready to speak. The two partners exited the elevators on the ground floor and made their way out of the hospital lobby and into the parking lot in total silence. It wasn't until he had settled in the driver's seat of the black squad car that Fin decided to coax an answer out of his partner.

"It's just you and me now, Amanda. What did Trisha tell you?"

Amanda stared out of the passenger side window, as if she had not heard Fin speaking to her. She sighed and took the hair tie out of her ponytail, letting her golden tresses fall loose. She finally turned and looked Fin in the eyes and said simply, "She went through hell, Fin. Absolute hell."

Fin nodded and waited for her to continue, his left hand gripping the steering wheel.

"I mean I got the details down in my notes but damn it, Fin. . .this girl is lucky she's still alive. I don't know how but. . .she remembered everything, every single detail. And I know we've gotten tangled up with some pretty sick bastards but. . .this guy showed her no mercy. She didn't even know him, and he just wanted to erase her, put her out of her misery. She went through hell," she repeated again.

Fin nodded, letting the information sink in. He put the keys in the ignition but didn't start the car.

"Did she give you a good description of the perp?"

Amanda nodded, her facial expression distant, "Right down to the last birthmark."

"Then he's as good as ours," Fin proclaimed in total confidence.

With that Fin started up the car and pulled off. Neither he nor his partner spoke another word to each other until they reached their destination at the stationhouse.

* * *

Lucas stepped out of the doors of the Morgan Park library, genuinely surprised that it was nearly nightfall. As he walked leisurely down the steps, a slightly demented smile plastered itself across his face. Lucas felt more alive now probably than he had during his entire life, he was in such an optimistic mood that he didn't even bat an eye when a man walking in the opposite direction accidentally bumped into him while loudly chatting on his phone. Nothing else in the world seemed to exist to him in that moment, he was totally preoccupied with the influx of thoughts and images manifesting in his head.

' _It is ridiculously easy to look up people over the internet'_ , he thought to himself as he sauntered up the street. _'Too easy, they're practically begging you to do it. I love modern technology, I really do.'_

His eyes almost danced in their sockets as he continued to process the ample information that he had spent the last 2 hours researching online; the unofficial profile of a certain brunette NYPD detective of the female persuasion. Lucas had been a pro at obtaining information on just about anyone, anything or anywhere for years, but today he found his efforts especially rewarding, and he could literally taste the fruits of his labor as he all but skipped down the street.

' _Olivia Benson, born the 11_ _th_ _of October in 1968, raised and educated in New York City, graduate of Sienna College, single, no children, decorated detective with the 16_ _th_ _precinct of the NYPD Special Victims Unit specializing in sex crimes, current residence, 203 West 89th Street.'_

It was a gift that he had been preparing himself for his entire life.

Lucas had already insisted on taking his time with Olivia the night they bumped into each other at the bar. He was immediately drawn to her, but not just because of her beauty. The way she spoke, the tone of her voice, the way she laughed, the way she carried herself, he was intrigued by her very essence from the beginning. If he had gotten bored with her at any point, he could've easily dismissed her, as he had done with countless other women in the past. But not Olivia, she had this drive and ambition about her that until their first official date together, he couldn't quite put his finger on. But now he could put his finger on it, and so much more. When Olivia had told him she was with the New York Police Department, he was a little more than shocked, but yet it had explained so much about her.

Lucas finally slowed down his pace as he came to a busy intersection and he patiently waited for the light to turn so he could cross in front of the playground across the street.

 _'A strong, street smart, intelligent woman, fighting the good fight, trying to right the wrongs of the world, defending the weak and the helpless against all the the big, bad meanies of the world. It's enough to make a cat laugh,'_ he smirked at his own joke, running a thumb across his lips thoughtfully. When the turning signal changed to the walk sign, instead of picking back up his brisk pace, he resorted to taking slow and deliberate steps instead.

' _Screwing isn't going to be enough,' he deliberated with himself as he crossed in front of the park. 'I'm going to possess her, in every shape and form. I'm going to let her give herself to me, everything she has to offer, mind, body, and soul. And then I'm going to strip it all away, piece by piece, until she has nothing left. She won't even recognize herself when I'm done with her. I know exactly what I was put on this earth for, and Olivia Benson is my destiny.'_

Lucas found himself unable to ignore the fact that he was getting turned on at this own thoughts, and reasoned that he should definitely get high and find some world weary hooker to 'release' himself on, probably well into the night. He was far too excited now, and sleeping was never really his thing. As he continued taking a shortcut through the park, contemplating his evening plans, Lucas abruptly caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of his eye. It was a child, a little girl, sitting on a park bench, crying and rubbing at her eyes. He quickly looked around to see if anyone else was in the vicinity. The sun had already begun to set, the park was empty.

The devilish grin once again spread across his face.

He slowly approached the small crying child, taking care not to scare her. Once he made it over to the bench, he got down on one knee in front of her so that she wouldn't be intimidated by his great height.

The little girl looked at him with large brown eyes, still welled with tears. She couldn't have been more than four or five years old. She had on a yellow polka dot sundress that contrasted with her creamy brown skin. Her hair was pulled back into a carefully made braid that was secured with a silk yellow ribbon. A tiny hoop earring had been placed in each of her ears.

 _She's perfect_ , Lucas told himself. _An absolute doll._

"What's the matter, little princess? Are you lost?" he asked in the sweetest tender voice he could muster.

The child nodded, still crying and rubbing at her eyes with her tiny hands.

"I w-want my m-mommy. . ." she continued to cry bitterly.

Lucas reached out a large hand and used a thumb to gently wipe her tear stained face.

"Aww, it's okay, baby doll. Don't cry. Can you tell me your name?" The skin on her small, round face was unbearably soft and he found himself caressing it without even having to think about it.

The child sniffled a few times and seemed to calm down under the stranger's gentle touch.

"Tara," she said in between sniffles.

Lucas positively beamed at her, using his opposite hand to smooth out her hair.

"Would you like me to help you find your mommy, Tara?"

Tara nodded earnestly at the kind man in front of her.

"Okay then, let's go find her."

Lucas took Tara's hand and helped her hop off the bench before standing back up again to his full height. The tiny child gaped at him in amusement, her brown eyes widening in surprise.

"Don't be scared, honey. I'm going to take you to your mommy, okay?"

Tara nodded again, squeezing the large hand that practically consumed hers.

Lucas led Tara further into the park, keeping an eye out for any stray pedestrians. He was so captivated by the tiny prize currently gripping his hand that he didn't even notice the black police squad car on the street as it drove past him.

* * *

 **I hope that last part wasn't too painful for you guys. For me, some of the most scariest and most disturbing details about storylines are the things that the author leaves up to the imagination, so naturally the last part of this chapter was kind of hard for me to type out. Please review and thank you for reading!**


	10. Would You?

**Yo! Another day, another update! I really don't have any special description for this one. All I want to ask is that you please enjoy it because this will be the last of my easy-going, Rated PG chapters for a while. I'm tempted to just get back to the "meaty" and suspenseful scenes again, but I'm really trying to give this story some flow and pace and not throw everything at you guys at once. As always, a million and one thank you's to everyone who is still following me, leaving me reviews and encouraging me to continue on with this story. I would probably still update if no one was reading this, but knowing that I DO actually have people reading my scribblings definitely makes it all the more worthwhile. I'm still trying to update as I type, but I know I still miss some stuff, so as usual please excuse any spelling and/or grammatical errors.**

* * *

"Caucasian male, early to mid 30's, hazel eyes, brown hair, muscular-slender build, no less than 6 feet 3 inches tall, birthmark on the upper chest area, no distinguishing marks on genitalia," the captain read out loud. Captain Cragen's eyebrows connected to make one long thick line, his eyes moving rapidly as they scanned the list he held in his hands. "It's a good start," he declared after reading the description of Trisha Moreno's rapist 2 or 3 more times.

"Trisha said that he kept her blindfolded most of the time; when she'd finally catch a glimpse of him it was usually dark," Fin stated, his arms folded across his chest as he sat across from the captain. "That and the fact that he kept her hopped up on booze and sleeping pills most of the time," he added as an afterthought.

"This is enough to go on for now," said the captain, now rising to his feet. "And it's more than enough for the sketch artist to work with. When he produces a decent image of our perp, I want copies given to all the local news stations so we can get this guy's face out to the public. This guy isn't some rookie sex offender, hopefully it'll only be a matter of time before someone blows the whistle on him."

Amanda had been sitting next to Fin, mostly silent after updating the captain about their meeting with Trisha Moreno. She found herself alternating between listening to Cragen and recounting her conversation with Trisha, the young woman's quivering voice still echoing in her mind.

 **" _The whole time he had me with him, I just felt like he hated me. Like I had done something to him, and I just couldn't understand why he wanted to see me suffer so much. One time when he had me in a basement, I asked him if he was going to kill me. . .he put out a lit cigarette on my thigh. He laughed when I cried out from the pain, then he spat on me and said 'Yes, but not the way you think.'"_**

She snapped herself out of her daze when she noticed that Cragen and Fin had been looking at her, but she hadn't missed a beat.

"We left Trisha our contact information in case she remembers anything else," she said, immediately sitting up straight in her chair. "This creep's not going to be a free man for much longer."

The captain nodded in agreement, made his way over to his office door and placed his hand on the knob, but not before turning to the two detectives still seated in front of his desk. "I'm not big on sentiments as you both should know by now but I guess I can make an exception just this once. Keep up the good work, detectives." With an approving nod, Captain Cragen opened his office door and exited, leaving the door open to the main squad room, with Fin and Rollins watching him walk down the hall until he was completely out of sight.

"Well, I guess there's a first time for everything," Fin remarked when he was positive that the captain couldn't hear him. "I guess we better go tell Benson and Amaro the good news." He rose out of his chair and made his way towards the door, giving Rollins a friendly pat on her back as he walked by. "You sure you're okay?" Rollins nodded and gave a little smile as she got to her feet. "Yeah, I'm good. I'll be even better once we nail this bastard though." Fin nodded, watching her carefully.

"Well I've got to go take care of some things, but I should be back in about an hour. Try not to beat anyone down until I get back," Fin said, putting his leather jacket back on.

"Yeah, I know how much you wouldn't want to miss that." Amanda retorted with a smirk, following him out.

* * *

True to his word, Fin was making his way back to the station house on foot about 50 minutes after he had finished his meeting with Captain Cragen and Rollins. He had purposely chosen not to mention what sort of business he was attending to; he was one of the few members of his squad who had (for the most part) mastered the art of keeping his work life and private life as far apart from each other as possible. He was only 2 blocks away from the station house when he heard a familiar voice call out, "Hey, Fin, wait up!"

Fin turned to the direction of the voice and stopped in his tracks. He only had to wait a moment for his trusted colleague Olivia Benson to catch up to him. "Hey," she greeted him, slightly out of breath, "Amaro just called and gave me the news about the description of Trisha Moreno's kidnapper, sounds like we're getting pretty close."

Fin nodded in response, adding, "Rollins make a connection with our victim pretty fast, it actually reminded me a lot of you."

Olivia smiled at the subtle compliment, the wind whipping her hair around her face as they walked. Fin was one of the few men in Olivia's life whom she still trusted and confided in, and she was sincerely happy to have him as company on the walk back. They walked in silence for about 20 feet before Fin spoke up again.

"So how was your lunch date?"

The question came so suddenly that Olivia nearly tripped on the pavement.

How could he have possibly known about that? Did Amanda tell her business even though she promised to keep it to herself?

"Munch overheard you making plans on the phone," said Fin, as if reading her thoughts. "He mentioned you were seeing that kid you were talking to at the bar from a couple of weeks ago."

"He's not a kid," Olivia replied sharply, shoving her hands into her jacket pockets. "And Munch really needs to mind his own business."

"Relax, Liv, you know he didn't mean anything by it," Fin replied with a chuckle. "So who is this cat anyway? Did you have to sign him out of class or did you catch him at recess?"

Olivia rolled her eyes as they finally approached the station house and pulled on the handle of the entrance door, holding it open for Fin who followed closely behind her.

"Don't even start. I'm not having this conversation with you right now," Olivia responded briskly.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry about the wisecracks," Fin apologized as the two detectives wound their way around the crowded lobby to elevators. "Listen, I'm not trying to get in your business. I'm just trying to be a good friend. I mean if you can't trust me by now, then who else?"

Olivia let the absolute truth behind his comment roll around in her mind as they stood and waited for the people on the elevator to pass by so they could get on. She knew Fin wouldn't judge her based on whom she dated and that he wouldn't gossip about her activities to anyone else; he had never been that type of guy. He was just trying to have her back and it was one of the many things she appreciated about him. Once she realized they were alone, Olivia leaned her back against the wall and took a deep breath.

"His name is Lucas. He's very articulate, has a great sense of humor, is down to earth, and is the first guy I've dated in over a year who actually knows how to use a fork. He likes sports, is allergic to shellfish, he's been to Mexico, and so far no red flags of the dreaded Peter Pan complex. Are you satisfied with that?" She finished by throwing Fin a wry smile, which he reciprocated.

"Yeah, I guess that'll hold me for a while. Does he know you're a cop?"

Olivia nodded, staring at the doors in front of them.

"And he didn't take off screaming into the night?"

"No, he didn't seem too thrown off by it when I told him. It didn't seem to make a difference to him at all actually. Not what I was expecting all, I was a little disappointed."

"He sounds like an okay dude then. You should bring him to O'Malley's retirement party next week so he can meet the gang."

"I'm trying not to overwhelm him too early." Olivia replied as the elevator reached their floor. "But I'll think about it."

"Good idea," Fin noted as they exited the elevator and walked down the hall to the squad room. "Just remind him to ask his mom and dad for permission first. It would make you look bad if you got him grounded for missing curfew." Olivia shot Fin a warning look as he laughed as his own joke and made his way over to his desk across the room. But he suddenly stopped laughing and turned back to look at Olivia.

"Hey, Liv!" he called before she had gotten too far out of earshot. Olivia turned on her heel to face him with a quizzical expression on her face.

"I'm happy for you. Really." He gave her one of the rare smiles he seemed to reserve for only special occasions. Olivia smiled and nodded at her colleague and good friend in appreciation, feeling slightly self-conscious all of a sudden. After years of working with him, Olivia knew that his sentiment was genuine and benevolent.

She could always count on Fin to have her back.

* * *

 _ **Two nights later. . .**_

"Suzanne Somers."

"You're kidding!"

"Nope, I saw her on TV for the first time when I was 6-years-old, and I remembered thinking to myself, 'That's the woman I'm going to marry.' We were going to live in my treehouse together in the backyard. . .I had it all planned out!"

Olivia and Lucas burst into a bought of laughter that lasted almost an entire minute. Olivia was finally able to compose herself long enough to take a few more sips of wine from her glass. Her face burned red when she caught Lucas watching her closely, a huge smile plastered on his own face.

It had been nearly a month since they had officially begun seeing each other. They had only really been on 3 real dates, due to their non-overlapping schedules, and mostly had to settle for little lunch dates once or twice a week, which Olivia surprisingly found herself looking forward to with great anticipation. It was during one of these lunch dates that Olivia mentioned that she had been experimenting with home cooked meals through recipes she'd found on the internet (as an attempt to curb her dependency on take-out menus), and asked Lucas if he would like to come over one night when they were both free and be her guinea pig. Lucas immediately accepted the offer, claiming that he was physically incapable of turning down a free meal. Olivia had spent the better part of Saturday afternoon preparing dinner, and getting ready for this at-home date, putting herself through a beauty regiment that she rarely got to experience. Hair, dress, shoes, make-up, nails, everything had to be perfect. At one point she noticed that she was actually feeling nervous and rather foolish, like a teenage girl getting ready for prom.

 _Am I overdoing it?_ She asked herself as she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror. _What if he thinks of me as some desperate cougar?_

When Lucas knocked on her door promptly at 8pm, neither one of them was completely sure about what to expect. When Olivia opened the door, she was face to face with a bouquet of a dozen long-stemmed roses. When she looked up just above the roses, the face she saw nearly made her topple over in her silver pumps.

 _I must be hallucinating._

 _There is no way there is a tall, gorgeous man standing in my doorway holding a bouquet of flowers._

 _This is just another one of my silly, surreal dreams. I'll wake up any minute now._

But the figure in front of her was no dream, and she knew it when Lucas leaned down slightly and gave her a peck on the cheek and handed her the roses.

Olivia seized the opportunity to survey her date as she busied herself in the kitchen by finding a vase for the roses.

Lucas had on a crisp, white dress shirt (the sleeves of which he had rolled up to his elbows after they had finished their dinner), his legs suddenly looked even longer in his black slacks, and he had combed back his dark brown hair which gave him the appearance of a debonair Hollywood actor from the 1930's. It was his smile that was Olivia's favorite; big, bright and boyish. It was the kind of smile that made a person look like they were worth a million dollars, even if they were dressed in rags.

After the hearty dinner and almost suspiciously smooth conversation, Olivia invited Lucas to sit on the couch and continue their talk while they sipped wine. They decided to play a silly game where they took turns admitting all of the celebrity crushes they had harbored during childhood, and the confessions did not disappoint. Olivia had started off with Fred from the Scooby-Doo cartoons ("Oh come on, you can do better than that!") and Lucas had returned it with Ginger from Gilligan's Island ("Oh, so you have a thing for red-heads huh?"). Olivia brought up her infatuation with Greg Brady from the Brady Bunch, making Lucas roll his eyes and scrunch up his face in disgust, but he returned her confession with his admission of his crush on Suzanne Somers from the sitcom Three's Company at the tender age of six, which now had them both in hysterics.

After they had both settled down a bit, Olivia poured herself another glass of wine then leaned back on the sofa, eyeing the younger gentlemen sitting across from her.

"So tell me what you were like in high school," she insisted. "Let me guess, you were probably one of the cool kids, right? The sports jock, friends with everyone, including the teachers, captain of the basketball team, had a different girlfriend every couple of months?"

"No, not even close," Lucas responded, shaking his head. "I mean _way_ off."

"Come on, be serious."

Lucas turned his eyes toward the ceiling and tilted his head from side to side. "Okay I was on the basketball team, but I never made captain. And girls never paid that much attention to me."

Olivia raised her eyebrows in disbelief, "Sorry but I find that hard to believe."

"Absolutely not! I was already over six feet tall as an incoming freshman and weighed about a hundred and twenty pounds soaking wet. On windy days my friends would have to hold onto my shirt because they were scared the wind would pick me up and carry me over to the next town." Olivia chuckled and shook her head before he continued. "I was super skinny and super pale, all knees and elbows and hands and feet, I spent half my time either running into people or knocking things over. And I had some good friends, but never anyone special. I really missed out on a lot."

Olivia had been listening to his every word as he spoke, but her focus never left his face. His eyes seemed to dance as he spoke, and they seemed heavy and sad as he reminisced about years long gone.

"So what about you?" he asked her now. "How many high school sweethearts did you have to show the door to?"

Olivia took another sip of wine before she spoke, "Honestly? Not a lot," she admitted, absentmindedly running a finger across her royal blue cocktail dress. "I mean there was this one guy that I was really close to at the time. We were in love and everything but. . ." she stopped in mid-sentence to check Lucas's reaction to her revelation; his eyes were wide and unblinking, silently urging her to continue. "It ended up not working out," she concluded in a slightly dejected voice. Lucas suddenly reached for her left hand that she had casually propped up on the back of the couch and stroked the soft skin with his hand.

"Sometimes men don't realize that they've got something precious until it's gone." His tone abruptly became soft and breathy, his words barely above a whisper. Olivia looked carefully into Lucas's face, then to his hand that was holding hers, then back to his face again. She edged herself a little closer to him, minimizing the space between them. It had been a long time since she had felt this comfortable while sitting alone with another man. There was something about him that she just couldn't put her finger on; something about him just didn't seem real.

Her mind immediately became overwhelmed with the thoughts and memories of her best friend and now ex-partner.

 _Sometimes men don't realize that they've got something precious until it's gone._

Olivia hastily turned her attention away from Lucas and pulled her hand away from his. Lucas adjusted his position on the couch slightly but he didn't try to take Olivia's hand back.

"Olivia, I'm sorry. . .did I say something wrong? I wasn't trying to upset you, I only meant that. . ."

"No, Lucas, it's fine. It's not you," she lied, putting on a brave smile. "I just—I guess, I was thinking about what you said, because you're absolutely right." She finished the rest of her wine and gently set her glass on the coffee table, and Lucas copied her gesture.

"It's someone else, isn't it?" he probed. "There's someone else you're thinking about. Someone you still have feelings for."

"No," Olivia lied again, moving her body towards him slowly.

Lucas watched her, knowing full well what must have been going on in her head, yet he made no attempt to deter her.

"I think there is," he continued. "If it's what you really want to say. . ."

"I know exactly what I want," Olivia interrupted.

The entire time she was edging towards him, Lucas's eyes never left her mouth, and when her mouth found his, he made no attempt to stop her. He slid one around to the base of her neck as Olivia's own hands began to explore his tight, toned arms and continued moving them up until they found his biceps and eventually rested on his broad shoulders. Lucas's hands were now sliding down the sides of Olivia's curvaceous figure, his fingers lightly tracing the fabric of her dress as they traveled further south, finally grabbing hold of her hips.

He could not have been more bored.

"Would you mind if we take this into the next room?" Olivia breathed in his ear, when she had finally decided to come up for air.

Lucas heaved a little sigh but attempted to mask his disinterest without being too obvious. "Olivia, I…"

His words were literally devoured as Olivia's mouth once again found his; she was now moving off of the couch and making an effort to coax their amorous activity towards her bedroom. She was definitely a little tipsy, but not enough to be completely drunk, he reasoned. Mostly likely horny, but definitely not drunk.

Lucas rolled his eyes and gently but firmly pushed Olivia off of him, making sure to keep his hands on her upper arms. "Olivia, wait, just hold on a second—"

"Why, what's wrong?" she pressed, looking up at him with large, coffee colored eyes. She wasn't upset, just thoroughly confused. "You don't want to do it?"

"No, of course not. I mean yes, I want to do it but. . .are you sure you want to? I mean look at you, look at what you're doing."

Olivia looked down at herself then turned to look at her reflection in the mirror across the room. She felt as though she was looking at herself through someone else's eyes and her face became hot with embarrassment.

"Oh my God," she groaned, putting her hand to her forehead. "Oh my God, what am I doing? What is the matter with me? I swear I don't know what's gotten into me tonight, I just—I can't believe I just did that. I practically just threw myself at you!" she chuckled nervously and felt the perfect fool.

What _had_ just happened exactly? Why was it only this man who seemed to have this effect on her?

Olivia was running her hands through her perfectly combed and pressed hair, apparently unsure of what to do with herself at this point. Lucas grinned and walked over to her, then cupped her jaw in one of his large hands, using his other hand to tenderly stroke her arm.

"It's okay, don't be embarrassed. I'm flattered, really!" he chortled. "It's just uh—this just isn't the right time, you know?" He held her chin so that she was forced to look straight into his eyes, and no matter how much she wanted to, Olivia just could not look away.

"Just relax, Olivia. I'm really have a great time and believe me, I think you're amazing. I just. . .I just want things to be perfect, you know? I want everything to be perfect, for us. And this here, right now, just isn't it, you know?" He took his hand from her face and placed a hand on each of her arms, then kissed her long and hard.

"I need everything to be perfect for us. I want it to be special, okay?" he whispered seductively into her ear.

Olivia nodded and sighed in relief that she had not just nearly sabotaged a perfectly good evening and one of the best dates she'd had in living memory. "Wow. Okay, I'm just going to go and freshen up really quick, and then maybe we can pick up where we left off? You know, before I. . .?" she pointed at her face then gestured to the bathroom in her bedroom.

Lucas licked his lips and smiled, "I'll be waiting right here," he said contentedly, throwing in a wink for good measure.

He pretended to suddenly be interested in the artwork hanging in Olivia's living room and waited until he heard her bathroom door close before quickly turning his forced, relaxed expression into a twisted and evil sneer.

"You're going to pay for that one, Detective Benson," he said out loud to the walls. "And you just wrote a check with your mouth that your ass can't cash."

* * *

 **I hope that wasn't too bad. As I've said before, I'm just making this all up as I go. I already have the ideas for my next chapter already written up, now all I need is anywhere from 8-48 hours to get it all typed out! I'll try to update again within the next week, two weeks tops. Things are definitely about to get ugly and I'm definitely closing in on the climax of this story. As usual, all comments and reviews are welcome, please tell me whatever thoughts/emotions you had while reading, whether they be good, bad or neutral. And of course thank you all for your support, you have no idea how much it means to me!**


	11. Fxxk You

**PLEASE READ THIS FIRST!**

 **HI EVERYBODY! First off, a million and one apologies for this incredibly overdue update. So many of you messaged me and left comments asking me when I'd update again and begging me not to abandon my story. (NEVER!) But seriously, I've been constantly caught up with work and I almost never had a decent amount of time to myself to sit down and write. Luckily today I managed to find time to type while I was working so. . .silver linings ^_^ It was my original intention to write this chapter with three different scenes (to make up for the long wait) but I figured that I've made you all wait long enough, so I'm uploading this part now and my next chapter will most likely contain the three different scenes that I had planned out. Anyway, I honestly hope you all can forgive me, you all have stuck with me for a long time and have given me such positive feedback and have been encouraging me to continue on and I am just too grateful, you have no idea :-)**

 **So enough with that. . .on with the show! Just a fair warning that this is another icky chapter that'll probably give you all the heebie-jeebies (but then again if you've stuck around this long, I really don't need to bother warning you, do I?) I haven't had a chance to completely proofread it yet because I'm hungry and exhausted, but I'll have a chance to go back and fix the mistakes later, so as usual please excuse any typos whether they be major or minor. Don't hate me!**

* * *

 _The petite body beneath him shivered as he lifted his larger frame off of her backside, but she otherwise remained silent, her duct taped hands stretched out in front of her on the musty mattress beneath her. He watched her naked and tattered body for a moment, expecting some sort of reaction as he slowly pulled himself out of her, but she continued to stare blankly at the brick wall across the room. After taking a moment to catch his breath, he gave Trisha's backside a stinging slap as he rose to his feet; still nothing._

 _The brute wiped the back of his hand across his forehead, the rest of his body glistening with sweat in the cool damp basement. He regarded his young captive thoughtfully as he pulled his jeans back on and refastened his belt, tucking his handgun into the back of his waistband._

 _"You performed a little better than the first time," he said with a chuckle, his voice echoing off of the stone walls. "But then again I was nice enough to let you finish first."_

 _He took two long strides and stooped over to dig through the large paper bag he had set next to the door and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a red Bic lighter. "You hungry, sweetheart?" he asked as he pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and dropped the rest of the pack on the floor. "I don't know what it is about a good pounding that always puts me in the mood for a nice, hot Philly cheese steak."_

 _He strode back to the center of the room, the soles of his boots scraping against the concrete floor. He casually leaned against the stone pillar erected in the middle of the room, and took a long, deep drag on his cigarette, blowing smoke towards the only source of light in the dank room; a dim lightbulb hanging mere inches from the top of his head. He continued to smoke in silence as he observed his current victim, the only sound being the distant passing of cars three or four blocks away._

 _Previously after he had finished himself with her, Trisha would roll on her side into the fetal position and try to make herself look small, and he always sat back and watched while she had her tears or otherwise begged him not to hurt her anymore. All of his girls did it and it was a performance that he always enjoyed. But at the moment she was giving no indication of acknowledging the savage act he had just committed on her. In fact from where he was currently standing, she looked as if she was dead. He had threatened her life several times over the last few days, one for every time she made the stupid decision of refusing to submit to his command. Most recently she had gone so far as to bite his hand when he had reached out to caress her dirty, tear stained face, hoping to distract him long enough for her to try and make a break for it. She was later punished by him ruthlessly punching her in the stomach until she was forced to apologize. Even with her tearful request for forgiveness, he chose to further teach her a lesson by discarding her only two garments of clothing; a large t-shirt and a pair of blood stained panties._

 _"You must be thirsty too, right?" he asked with a smirk." I think we passed a 7-11 a couple of blocks away, do you need anything?"_

 _Total silence. Not even a murmur of acknowledgement._

 _"What's the matter, honey? Are you mad at me? Is that why you don't feel like talking?"_

 _Nothing._

 _He leaned off of the stone pillar and took another hard drag on his cigarette, blowing smoke back up towards the ceiling._

 _"You're not pretending to be asleep, are you?" he asked with warning, unable to mask his irritation any longer. "Because that would really piss me off if you are."_

 _He took a step in her direction now, gingerly holding up his cigarette with the burning end face up. He delicately crept toward her, waiting for the girl to say even just a word to him, but all he could hear now was his own blood starting to pound in his head. He crouched down at the end of the mattress by her feet where he could see her face better. She was definitely still awake; her eyes were wide and unblinking, staring at the nothingness in front of her._

 _Was she purposely ignoring him?_

 _The beast had already sensed the clear act of defiance being displayed right now, but the confirmation of it only made him more livid. In another time in another place he might have actually applauded and even respected this subtle act of rebellion, but he just wasn't in the mood. His eyes raked over her nude body again and took in the sight of the little hairs along her skin standing up in response to the cold, damp air. He also took the opportunity to appreciate his own handiwork; her light brown skin was a landscape of cuts, bruises and burns and only about half of them were starting to heal. He reached out the hand with the indentation of Trisha's bite marks and softly stroked her leg, the cigarette still burning in his opposite hand._

 _She didn't even tense up at his touch._

 _This was just a game she was playing and he knew it. How many more times would he have to remind her just who called the shots?_

 _"You know, I bet you were expecting your first time to be a little different, hm?" He continued to pet and stroke the smooth skin on her leg, keeping the tone of his voice soft and innocent. "Maybe with your husband on your wedding night, or maybe even one of those pretentious losers you go to school with? And then afterwards you two would snuggle up under the covers while he spooned you, and then you could talk about your feelings and discuss what you should make for breakfast and all that other Lifetime movie-of-the-week crap?" He could feel the heat of the cigarette in his opposite hand on his thumb and forefinger now, and he welcomed it._

 _"Or maybe you're thinking about how after all this is over you'll check yourself into some therapy group where some overpaid shrink who drives a Lexus and vacations in the Hampton's will tell you all about how you're a survivor, and that someday you'll be healed." He slowly began sliding his hand up her leg, his calloused thumb gliding over her skin. Trisha didn't budge._

 _" They'll say that deep down you're still special and amazing and despite your tragic ordeal that one day some prince on a white horse is going to come down and sweep you off your feet and he'll love you no matter what, and then he'll carry you off into the sunset and live happily ever after!" he added mockingly. His fingers were now circling around the back of her thighs, teasing the sensitive bruises that covered them._

 _ **Was that a wince?**_

 _"Well," he continued on with a sigh, "I've got news for you, sweetness, no man is going to want you after me. Trust me, no man on this earth wants to deal with someone else's damaged goods; I'm the best you're going to get. Actually when you really think about it, I'm doing you a favor." Shifting his position to his knees, he moved his cigarette to his right hand, using his left to prop himself over Trisha's body. Then carefully leaning down, he gently pressed his lips to the back of the thigh that he was just caressing._

 _A small gasp, he heard it this time. The unmistakable intake of breath. It was a small victory for himself, but he knew he could do better._

 _"When someone does you a favor, it's polite to say 'thank you'. Didn't your wetback parents ever teach you that?" He placed another kiss on her opposite thigh now, where more bruises had been placed. Another tiny gasp, he was done waiting._

 _"Thank me for being your first, Trisha," he commanded._

 _Digging a hand into her still sore thigh to keep his balance, the foul man brought up the cigarette still smoldering in his opposite hand and held it to her skin, although not enough to burn her. Just close enough so that just the sensation of heat on such a sensitive area would knock her out of her self-induced "trance". She still had a chance to shield herself or to recoil from his touch. To sit up and pull her legs together or even kick out at him. It obviously would've been in vain, but some of his past girls would've at least tried. But not this one; in the dimness of the room he could just make out the sight of his young prey squeezing her lips together and pressing her face into mattress as hard as she could._

 _ **That's it?**_

 _He brought the butt of the cigarette closer still to her bruised thigh, but she didn't even flinch. Her muscles were completely relaxed. His hand began to quiver as the cigarette continued to burn; he wanted so bad to dig it into her flesh as he had already done the previous day. But in his fury he resorted to angrily crushing the blunt in his bare hands, and then tossing it at the wall._

 _"You're a real piece of work, you know that Trisha? I thought you were a lot smarter than that. Hey! Look at me!" Grabbing her hips he roughly flipped her onto her back, her duct taped hands still stretched out above her head. The fiend crawled on top of her until her was straddling her legs, his long body overlapping her much smaller physique. Now that she was face up he could see her more clearly; no fresh tears, but her bottom lip was swollen and bleeding from her biting down on it a moment ago._

 _The vile smirk that would forever cement itself to Trisha's memory once again resurfaced across his face. He slowly leaned forward, as if not wanting to deliberately crush her with his weight and positioned a hand on either side of her head. "Here, let me get that for you." The repulsive creature on top of her grunted with content as he proceeded to viciously take her bottom lip into his own mouth and hungrily suck off the blood that covered it._

 _His mouth tasted like an ashtray and internally Trisha was grateful for the fact that she had not had any real nourishment in days. Otherwise she would've undoubtedly vomited the contents of her stomach right into his already filthy mouth. However externally, her face remained as stony and expressionless as ever. After he finished his assault on her mouth, he pulled his head back to look at her, still searching for any physical sign of distress, and found only the blank face of someone who appeared to be dead. Not that he had anything against assaulting a lifeless corpse, but he preferred to cross that bridge if and when he came to it. He licked his lips thoughtfully as he stared into Trisha's face, and she stared right back, unabashed and unfazed. She seemed to be looking right through his skull and into his mind._

 _What the cruel captor saw was someone who was purposely resisting his taunts and advances to purposely piss him off. His narcissism however blinded him from what he was really looking at: a young woman who was simply tired._

 _Tired of crying, tired of pleading, tired of reasoning, and tired of fighting._

 _This perfect stranger had randomly picked her out to torture and violate simply because he was going to kill her eventually, so what did it matter what he did to her now? The worse had to be over. The basement of this abandoned house might be the last thing she saw before she took her last breath, so in her viewpoint it was best to simply accept it. She was broken, battered and helpless. She was tired of his taunts, his threats, his cruelty and senseless sadism. She just wanted it to be over._

 _In the long awkward silence her aggressor suddenly realized that she was back in her own world again, so he decided to bring her back down to his. Without warning he used his knees to spread her legs apart, the front of his jeans irritating her faintly throbbing center. He ran a rough hand across her chest then traced his finger along her collarbone as if searching for something that only he could see._

 _"What are you thinking about, Trisha?" he inquired. "And you had better open up your mouth soon, because you're really starting to piss me off."_

 _An exhausted sigh was all she had to say._

 _He could feel the familiar fury starting to bubble inside of him and he struggled to keep his voice steady as he moved his hand from her bruised breasts to the base of her neck. He applied a little bit of pressure, not enough to cut off her air, just enough to get her attention._

 _He had had just about enough of her attitude._

 _"I really expected a lot better from you, Trisha, after everything you and I have been through. But you really are a stupid little bitch, you know that?" he asked through gritted teeth. "Is this really how you want to die?"_

 _ **Was that a nod just now?**_

 _He squeezed her neck a little tighter; only now he had begun to slowly dry hump her through his jeans, his erection gradually returning._

 _The little bitch was teasing him._

 _"Maybe I should do you one last time, hm? I can put you on floor, let you feel that cold, hard concrete against your back. And the last thing you'll feel before I snap your pretty little neck, is my hard cock buried inside you, is that what you want? Huh? Open up your mouth, Trisha!"_

 _He might as well have been talking to a ragdoll._

 _In blind fury, he removed his choke hold on her neck and slapped her across the face. Pushing himself off the mattress he got to his feet and pulled the revolver out of his waistband and aimed it at her leg._

 _"Or maybe I can just shoot your now, and watch you bleed out all over this floor. That'll be a nice little surprise for the next family that buys this dump. Nothing brings down property value like a rotting corpse." At that he released the safety of the gun, his forefinger lightly tapping the trigger._

 _He watched in mild amusement as Trisha finally moved from her position in front of him. With some difficulty, she managed to pull her arms up over her head until they were in front of her where he had taped them together in the first place. She then sluggishly turned herself onto her side then with a shaky breath managed to push herself onto her knees. Only this time she didn't bother trying to mask her sharp intakes of breath as her wounds stretched themselves with every move she made. She was lightheaded from the mixture of pain, hunger and dehydration. Her vision was blurry and she could barely see the weapon pointed at her through the thick hair that clung itself to her sticky, sweaty face. Her bottom lip had started to bleed once more._

 _She forced herself not to look him in the eyes, and concentrated instead on his bare chest. If she was going to truly die within the next few moments, she did not want to have to look at the rage in his eyes. She accepted her fate._

 _But before the man towering in front of her could speak, she parted her swollen, bloodied lips and spoke her last words in a raspy, broken voice._

 _"Please. I'm already dead."_

 _She expected to immediately hear the sound of a gunshot followed by a bullet to her skull but as she dared herself to look up into his face, what she saw was far worse._

 _His face was positively rigid and his eyes were wide and unblinking, so much that they almost seemed to be glowing; it was absolutely the most terrifying face she had ever seen, and if she had had the strength she probably would have screamed. Despite the expression of pure hatred and fury on his face, he kept his hold on the gun incredibly still, as if the hand that held it was not his own._

 _He suddenly took three long strides in her direction until he was behind her, completely out of view. She felt him grab a huge hunk of her hair and pull hard enough to tear out a fistful. Next she felt the unmistakable cold metal of a gun barrel touching her right temple._

 _This was it._

 _Trisha inhaled deeply through her nose, shut her eyes as tight as she could and waited for her world to end._

* * *

 **Everybody okay? What did you think? Not to give too much away but as I have already mentioned to a few of you, my story only has a few more chapters left as I plan on bringing on the climax of the storyline very soon. Still not 100% sure how it's going to end, but it'll definitely leave you breathless! Please comment/review on what you thought about this chapter, constructive criticism is always welcome. Tell me your thoughts/feelings as you were reading, etc, I really love knowing the details about what you guys think. Thanks for sticking around!**

 **XOXOXOXO**


	12. Familiar Face

**HEY KIDS! Remember when I said that I would try and update again soon and I said to be out the lookout for an update within the next two weeks? Welp, HERE IT IS! That's right, two updates in less than 24 hours. I'm telling you, I can get a lot done when I have the adequate time, energy and motivation :-) This actually didn't turn out to be as long as I thought it was going to be but like I mentioned in my last introduction, "Fxxk You" and this chapter were originally going to be posted as one long chapter but I decided at the last minute to split them up. I hope this chapter doesn't go by too fast, I'm just trying to keep everything at a decent pace. As usual, check it out, excuse any typos, and of course, enjoy!**

* * *

"So Jimmy turns to me and says, 'Hey Patrick, isn't that that perp that was filmed robbing that liquor store last week?' and I says to him, 'Yeah, Jimmy, I think it is!' So I crank up the sirens, I'm leaning on the gas, I'm burning rubber big time. I swing into the intersection and pull up on the curb, Jimmy's already got the door open and has his gun pointed at this guy wearing a long brown over coat, a long red scarf, a straw fedora and sunglasses. I'm thinking, 'We've got this creep now!' So I take my gun out and shout, 'NYPD, drop the coffee and get on the ground now!' The guy puts one hand in the air but uses his other hand to hold onto his Starbucks and goes, 'What seems to be the problem, gentleman?' Jimmy goes up to him and knocks the coffee cup clean out of this guy's hands, there's coffee all over the sidewalk and people are stopping, staring and pointing at us like, 'What the hell is going on?' Suddenly the guy says, 'Officers, I think there's been a mistake.' So Jimmy starts walking toward him, he's got his gun pointed right at the guys nose. He gets right up on the guy, looks at him a minute and the next thing I know I hear him screaming, "Oh my God, Mr. Depp, I'm so sorry! Can I please get an autograph for my wife? She loved you in '21 Jump Street!' Long story short, that's how me and my partner of 15 years almost threw Johnny Depp in the slammer!"

The entire banquet hall erupted into laughter and applause right on cue, everyone except Detective Andy Lau.

Instead he glanced at his watch as he downed his third glass of champagne and heaved a sigh of exhaustion. The retirement dinner party for Captain Patrick O'Malley had started nearly two hours ago and his big speech was going on twenty minutes. Apparently the captain would not be satisfied until he thanked and acknowledged every single person he had ever come in contact with since the day he became a police officer. As soon as Andy heard about the retirement party two weeks ago he immediately started coming up with excuses for why he wouldn't be able to attend; while he accepted most of the responsibilities that came with being a detective, he still abhorred large social gatherings. But just as he had settled on calling in sick with the flu, his superior officer had corned him and made him promise that he would show up. His exact words were, "Suck it up, Lau."

After nearly three days of mental preparation of all the smiling, hand shaking and small talk that he knew he would have to endure, Andy allowed himself to see the big get-together as an opportunity to prove himself as a dedicated member of the Manhattan Special Victims Unit. It had been nearly 6 months since he had transferred to Manhattan from his original position with the Boston Police Department. His parents were extremely wealthy Taiwanese immigrants, so after graduating from one of the top universities on the East Coast, naturally his close friends and family were shocked when he proudly proclaimed that he had been accepted into the nearby police academy. He didn't want to live in the shadow of his parents' money well into his adulthood; he wanted to make a difference.

At the ripe age of only 32 years, he had already built up quite a reputation for himself as being a "go-getter" with his commanding officer before making the big move to New York, and the SVU unit had made it clear that they were happy to have him on board. So earlier this evening he had jumped in the shower, took his time during his grooming regiment, put on a clean shirt and tie, popped a Tic-Tac and put on a brave face for what he knew would undoubtedly be a long dinner party. And he was not wrong. He loved his job and accepted the pros and cons that came along with being an officer of the law, but unfortunately it had done nothing to ease his naturally reclusive personality; the last thing he wanted to do after another grueling day at work was to sit through an awkward party.

 _I could be passed out in bed by now._

After the guest of honor had finally wrapped up his speech 10 minutes later, Andy ironically joined in the enthusiastic round of applause with the rest of the audience. After the speech, that was once again the signal for everyone in attendance to resume walking around and conversing. Andy was just about to grab his jacket off the back of his chair and make a quick break for the exit door when he felt a hand on his shoulder. His current mentor, Lieutenant James, beamed down at him.

"Lau, you're not cutting out already are you? Come over here, I want you to talk to some people!"

Before Andy could protest he found himself being pulled from his chair and steered across the banquet hall to a cluster of people standing next to one of the dinner tables, already engaged in a lively chat.

"Donald Cragen, I don't believe you've met Detective Andy Lau from Boston. Andy this is Captain Donald Cragen. Andy here just came to us this last fall, he's one of the best guys we've ever had. He helped shut down a child pornography ring in Brooklyn last month, absolutely amazing."

Captain Cragen smiled and reached out a hand, "Detective Lau, I think we've spoken once or twice actually. Glad to see that you could make it." He turned to gesture to his comrades standing around him. "Let me introduce you to my squad; these are detectives Nick Amaro, Amanda Rollins, Fin Tutuola and Olivia Benson." Andy smiled politely and shook the hand of each detective as he was introduced to them, but he found himself paying extra attention to Detective Benson, holding onto her hand a little longer than necessary. He had of course seen her around the station house several times, but they had never really exchanged words.

He had heard a lot of stories about her, mostly about how she notorious for going above and beyond the call of duty when it came to defending victims. The latest gossip though surrounded the circumstances behind why her most recent partner of over 10 years had to leave the unit. Normally when he saw her she was dressed business casual but tonight she had on a red cocktail dress and gold hoop earrings with her hair pulled back into a stylish ponytail.

Andy had become so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice that the topic of conversation had changed back around to Captain O'Malley; he was promptly snapped back to reality when a particularly large man came up behind Olivia and handed her a drink before putting his arm around her. Olivia titled her head back and smiled at him then said, "Oh, this is Lucas Williams. Lucas, this is Lieutenant James and Detective Lau." Lucas grinned and shook hands with the two men, nodding politely as he did. Against his better judgement, Andy couldn't help but size up Olivia's date.

 _Where have I seen him before?_

Based on his height and his looks, Andy figured he was probably either a basketball player or perhaps an actor/model. He figured that he had probably flipped past Lucas's picture in a magazine at a doctor's office at some point, or maybe seen him on a billboard ad for cologne. He tried to dismiss the thought because he was ready to go home and was about to excuse himself from the conversation but there was something about Lucas that he just couldn't place. Andy held his peace until the current conversation died down then out of the blue he politely inquired, "You know Lucas, you look really familiar. Have we met before?"

Lucas pulled Olivia closer to his side and rubbed his hand along her arm, "Really? No, I don't think I've had the pleasure. I've only been in New York a couple of months."

"Are you sure?" Andy pressed," You haven't been in any commercials or TV shows I might've seen?"

Everyone in the group burst into laughter except Andy.

"You do have that look about you," Rollins noted, "You sure you haven't done that kind of work before, Lucas?"

Lucas turned his eyes away and smiled nervously. "I'm flattered but no, that's not really my style. Besides, I really prefer working with my hands." He stole a glance at Olivia who gave him a light slap on the arm.

Andy nodded, "I see, I'm probably mistaking you for someone else then."

 _There's something about this guy's face that I can't put my finger on. I know I've seen him before. Did we go to school together in Boston?_

Andy continued to nurse his drink as the conversation moved onto another topic, but every few moments he'd steal a glance at the tall stranger in front of him. If Lucas noticed Andy was watching him, he didn't say anything about it. After a few minutes Lucas leaned down and whispered something in Olivia's ear before she turned to her colleagues, "Will you excuse us for a minute?" Lucas nodded once again to the group then placed his hand on the small of Olivia's back as he guided her back over to their table.

As they watched them leave Fin leaned over and whispered in Amanda's ear, "Looks like the lovers are in a hurry to get back home. Maybe I should've brought a date too."

* * *

Andy slammed his front door shut using his foot and sighed heavily as he loosened the tie around his neck.

11:48PM.

After more countless introductions with strangers and 30 more minutes of futile chit-chat, Andy was finally able to sneak away from a chatty group of junior detectives, slide Captain O'Malley his retirement gift, and duck out of the nearest exit before anyone knew he was missing. After nearly three and a half hours, he had been aching to get back to the sanctuary of his own quiet, empty house. He'd come up with an excuse for his early departure later. Tomorrow was his first Saturday off in weeks and he intended to spend it the best way he knew how: by doing as little as possible.

As Andy sauntered into his living room, slowing unbuttoning his shirt as he did so, he noticed the red light blinking on his answering machine. He turned on the table lamp then pressed the 'Play' button on the machine, anxious to know who would possibly be calling him so late.

 ** _'You have one new message.'_**

 ** _'Son! Son, are you there? This is your mother! Why aren't you picking up the phone?'_**

Andy sighed and ran a hand across his face in annoyance at the distinctive sound of his mother shouting at him in Mandarin.

 ** _'Are you working late? Why are you always working so late? You should tell your boss to give you more time off, you're working too hard! I rushed all the way home from shopping to tell you that I ran into a friend of mine. You remember Mrs. Chen? It turns out that she has a daughter named Lily about your age who is still single! I mentioned to her that you weren't seeing anyone either and asked her for Lily's cell phone number. I promised her that you'd give Lily a call. You're already 32-years-old and still not married and you know that I've wanted grandchildren for a long time now. Just promise me you'll call her! Her number is—'_**

Andy stopped and deleted the message before it finished. Why bother listening to a number he was never going to call?

 _That's another mess I'll have to clean up tomorrow._

Moving around the house he commenced with his nightly routine of making sure that all the doors and windows were secured, locking everything up tight. Walking into the kitchen to secure the back door he was instantly hit in the face with a foul, pungent stench. He cursed himself for not investing in scented garbage bags then bent over to tie up the trash and take it outside, knowing that if he didn't the stench would probably saturate the air quality of the entire house by early morning. With a grunt he picked up the heavy trash bag, slung it over his shoulder and unlocked the backdoor, carefully walking down the back steps and the small footpath leading to the trash bin by the garage. Except for the stars above, the backyard was shrouded in total darkness.

Andy had barely lifted the lid of the trash bin and tossed the bag of garbage inside when a sharp blow to the back of his head caused him to cry out in pain and sent him spinning to the ground.

The blow had completely stunned him and the pain was too much for him to try and move, but after a few seconds he forced his eyes open to try and catch a glimpse of whom, or what, had just attacked him. From his place on the ground he could just make out the silhouette of the shadow that towered over him. Andy tried to open up this mouth to speak but no words came out. The dark, silent figure raised its weapon and once again struck Andy over the head, and once again Andy roared in pain.

However when the figure struck him for the third time, Andy made no noise.

When it struck him for the fourth and final time, Detective Andy Lau was no more.

* * *

 **The Next Morning-10:05AM**

Olivia woke up from one of the first real good nights of sleep she had had in a while. Even though she felt fully rested, she refused to get out of bed and instead intertwined her fingers with the fingers of the man who was currently holding her to himself on the other side of the bed.

Last night had been one of the best nights in memory for her, and it had ended with her and her current steady cementing their relationship with what she could only describe as a "Much Needed and Much Overdue Destressing Session." She smiled and pulled his arms tighter around her. She felt safe and happy right now and truly just wanted to lay there in that moment and enjoy it for as long as possible. Suddenly she felt a large hand squeezing hers and she squeezed back; Lucas had been awake this whole time too.

"Morning, Sunshine," he whispered drowsily as he planted a kiss on the side of her head. "Sleep well?"

Olivia only hummed in response, "Did I wake you up?" she asked.

"No, actually my stomach did that."

As verification of his statement, Olivia felt more than heard Lucas's stomach rumbling against her backside and it made them both laugh.

"See, I told you," Lucas chuckled, burrowing his face back into her hair.

"That's incredible. You ate two plates of food at the retirement party last night." Olivia stated, teasing him.

"What can I say?" Lucas breathed into her ear. "I must have burned it all off." With that he helped himself to planting kisses along her neck and shoulder. "You up for round two?"

"Seriously?" Olivia asked in disbelief. "You're going to sacrifice breakfast in the hopes that you'll get lucky twice in a row?"

"Who said anything about having to go hungry?"

Before she could respond, Lucas pressed his mouth to Olivia's, holding the side of his face with his hand.

During their heat of passion, Olivia's cell phone on her nightstand began to ring and vibrate. She managed to tear her face away from her lover's and attempted to reach for it before it could stop ringing. "I have to get that, it might be important." Lucas quickly pulled her back to him, placing her hands on his broad chest.

"Make them wait," he murmured.

Olivia gave into him against her better judgement and let her phone go unanswered.

After another minute she heard the alert indicating that she had received a voicemail.

 **" _Hey Liv, it's Fin. I know you're probably busy but I just got a call from the captain. It looks like last night a man matching the description of Trisha Moreno's attacker got hauled in for assaulting a woman outside a subway station. The captain wants to bring him in for questioning and then bring Trisha in to see if she can identify the perp in a line up. Give me a call back as soon as you can."_**

* * *

 ** _*Gasps* Ermergerd! What's happening? What is Lucas up to? Why did Detective Lau recognize him? Who killed him? Who's the guy that they currently have in custody? Why didn't Fin bring a date too? I know this must all be confusing for you guys, but I promise that (almost) all the loose ends will be tied up within the next 3-4 chapters, so stay tuned! Please comment/review and as always, THANK YOU FOR READING!_**


	13. For A While

**Hi kids! Is everyone doing okay? I hope so. I appreciate the fact that a couple of you sent me messages asking/begging me to update. That's so much for your support and for still following this story! I have an endless list of reasons why it's taken me over a month to finally muster up the time, energy, inspiration and motivation to finally update this chapter, so I'm not even going to bore you with the details. On the bright so though, according to the word count meter, this is my longest chapter so far! For now just the same old same old: Read, comment, review, kindly skip over any spelling and/or grammatical errors, and as always, ENJOY!**

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 **Seven Years Earlier**

 **Boston Police Department-Boston, Massachusetts**

 _"Man, I'm telling you, Kevin Garnett is going to take the Celtics all the way to the championships this season, I can feel it in my bones!"_

 _"Well I suggest you follow up with your doctor because I've got my money on the Bulls. They just signed on Ben Wallace. The man has one of the best jump shots in the league and he's built like a brick wall, the Celtics don't stand a snowballs chance in hell!"_

 _Junior detectives Sandra Ramirez and Jay Marshall paused their heated discussion when they noticed their colleague Andy Lau come in a take a spot at his desk._

 _"Hey, Andy," Jay called from where he was sitting on the edge of his own desk. "Settle a bet for us; who do you think has the better chance at the NBA playoffs this year, the Bulls or the Celtics? Keeping in mind that the Bulls haven't one a single championship since Michael Jordan retired from the team in '98."_

 _Andy managed to mask a grimace from behind his computer screen. He didn't care much for his chatty colleagues and cared even less about basketball._

 _"Sorry, guys, I don't follow sports too much. You might as well be talking about cricket for all I know."_

 _"Oh, that's right I forgot, your parents never let you play sports when you were a kid. All that money they had they'd probably just pay someone to play for you right?" Walsh and Marshall had a laugh at Andy's expense, which he wasted no time in ignoring._

 ** _For crying out loud, the whole squad already knows you two are screwing each other. Just get a room already._**

 _The scene was immediately broken up by the sounds of struggling and shouting coming in from outside._

 _Another detective named Derrick Jackson was attempting to guide a handcuffed young man nearly twice his height into one of the holding cells._

 _"This is all just a big misunderstanding, officer! I never touched that woman; I was just asking her for directions! If you'll just give me a chance I promise I can clear this entire thing up in a few minutes! I don't think this is how they trained you to deal with innocent citizens, is it? You can't hold me here unless you're arresting me, I know my rights!"_

 _"If I have to tell you to shut your mouth one more time, you'll be sleeping in this station tonight, smart ass. Now just get in there and be quiet!"_

 _As Detective Jackson pushed the man into an empty cell, the larger man nearly bumped his head on the iron bars but ducked his head just in time. He seemed hardly concerned as the metal bars that made up the door shut and locked behind him._

 _"What do we have here, Jackson?" Detective Walsh asked, walking over to inspect the scene._

 _"We were on patrol when we got a call saying that a man had cornered a female spectator by the bathrooms at a pee-wee football game. She said that he was making unwanted advances to her and when she screamed for help he took off running. The pervert claims that he was asking for directions. It took me and my partner plus one of the coaches to tackle him to the ground."_

 _Andy himself had decided to move closer to take a look as well. As he approached the holding cells he got a better look at the identified "pervert". He was long and gangly, his thick brown hair was slicked back and shining with sweat. Besides the fact that his t-shirt and jeans were too big for him, they had grass and dirt stains down the front. He had a long face and large, wild looking eyes almost like a lion. His left cheek was bruised and slightly swollen from where it had made contact with the ground when he had been tackled._

 _And yet he was smiling._

 _Not just a coy little smile, he was grinning from ear to ear as if he was taking place in the funniest joke ever, and the cops before him were the punchlines._

 ** _What could he have possibly found so damn amusing about this situation?_**

 _"Did he have any ID on him?" asked Detective Marshall._

 _Detective Jackson was wiping his forehead with a napkin and still trying to catch his breath, so the suspect in the cell decided to speak for him._

 _"I already told him that I'd left it in my car, but he wouldn't let me go get it. Hey can somebody get me something for my face please? It stings pretty badly."_

 _"He hasn't shut up since we put him in the squad car," said Jackson in an irritated voice. "He's a real smart-aleck; always has to get the last word in. We've got the woman he tried to attack coming in to give her statement. In the mean time somebody please keep this fool quiet!"_

 _As if on cue, their current prisoner still could not find the will nor the ability to keep his mouth shut._

 _What was it going to take?_

 _"Listen, officers, I know my rights. I mean don't I at least get my one phone call? You either have to arrest me or let me go. And I'd hate to see you all lose your jobs just because of a technicality. I'm telling you, that lady has a sick mind. I mean come on, just look at me! Do I look like I need to attack some woman just to get attention? That's insane!"_

 _The overly confident suspect flashed his teeth in the direction of Detective Ramirez, and the sight nearly made Detective Lau wish he had not seen it. The teeth were wide and sharp, and when paired together with the glowing brownish-yellow eyes, it looked inhuman and almost demonic. It reminded him of the face of an emotionless skull. It was a chilling expression from someone who had seen too much, who didn't have a single care in the world and feared nothing._

 _A bona fide psycho._

 _Even after the man was taken into the back rooms about ten minutes later for questioning, Andy still couldn't shake the image of the coldness in the glower of the man's eyes. And as he sat back at his desk and continued to go about his daily business, he silently hoped to himself that no matter what happened that he wouldn't have to see that deranged smile again in his lifetime._

 _It was an omen of death._

* * *

Olivia could barely wait for the doors to part completely before she bounded off the elevator. Amaro, as if sensing her mood, was already ready for her outside the squad room. He kept up with her pace as they briskly walked down the hall.

"Sorry we had to call you in on your day off. I knew you were probably busy with…"

"It's fine, Nick," Olivia interrupted. "Get me up to speed."

"Early this morning we got a call from outside the subway station on 84th street from a woman who said there was a man on the train who was 'exposing' himself to her and making explicit, sexual comments. The guys who collared him said that he matched the profile of Trisha Moreno's kidnapper, so we brought him in."

"Did he have any ID on him?"

"Of course not," Nick responded, shaking his head. "He's been pretty tight lipped since they brought him in. Fin and Rollins are interrogating him now."

Olivia and Nick made it to the interrogation room where Fin and Amanda were sitting across from their current suspect. Through the window Olivia peered into the room, trying to get a good look at the man being interrogated. He was undeniably slender and muscular, his long legs noticeably stretched out underneath the table. His hair was dirty brown, his eyes were a light shade of hazel and they had narrowness to them that Olivia didn't like. After assessing the situation before them, Olivia gave Nick the signal to press the intercom button for them to listen in.

Luckily they had not missed much. Nick had not been exaggerating when he said their suspect was being tight lipped.

"Can you tell us who you are?" Rollins asked first.

The man simply stared at her as if she had just spoken a foreign language to him.

"Why don't you tell us where you're from?" Fin asked in a calm tone.

"New York."

"Where in New York? Rollins pressed.

"This part."

Fin and Rollins exchanged annoyed glances with each other but were far from giving in this early.

"Why don't you tell us what you were up to earlier this morning?" Fin continued.

"I was feeling kind of restless so I decided to ride around for a while to clear my head. There's no law against that."

"Nope, there's not," said Amanda, propping her elbows on the table and leaning forward. "But there is a law about unzipping your pants and parading your bits and pieces around in public."

"Listen, that woman who told you I flashed her? She's nuts. I see her all the time on that subway car, always twitching and talking to herself. She just imagined the whole thing and put the blame on me because she saw me first."

"So you _did_ recognize her?" Fin persisted. "And she just happened to be in the same car as you?"

The large man sitting before them shrugged and smiled, "It's a coincidence. And I know what you're thinking. . ."

"Trust me, you really don't want to know what I'm thinking," Fin interjected.

"Seriously," their suspect continued, "I don't have any interest in wackadoos like her. That lady's got some screws loose."

Amanda flipped open the manila folder she had set in front of her on the table.

"Really? Do you prefer girls like this one?" She pulled out an eight by ten photo of Trisha Moreno and held it in front of the man's face, forcing him to look at it.

"Am I supposed to know who this is?" he asked after giving the photo a once over, something resembling a smirk tugging at his lips.

"You tell us. You ever hang around college campuses looking for co-eds?" Fin asked, folding his arms and leaning back in his chair.

"I don't know what you're talking about, man. I've never seen that girl before in my life."

"You sure?" Amanda pressed. "Because about three and a half weeks ago, someone matching your description broke into this woman's home, raped, beat, kidnaped, drugged, stripped her, and left her for dead in a vacant lot."

Their suspect leaned back in his own seat and casually scanned the corners of the ceiling, clearly bored and disinterested in the topic at hand. "Sucks to be her then, but you've got the wrong guy. I'm not even into brown girls. "

"Oh, I see. So you're just a garden variety pervert then?" Fin asked sarcastically. "Or maybe you've just been lying low for the last few weeks and had to make due with flashing your Pee Wee Herman at women on the subway?"

His previously uninterested listener suddenly snapped his head back down and stared daggers at the two cops cross-examining him, his eyes beginning to flick back and forth nervously.

"Finally said something that got your attention, huh?" Amanda got up from her seat and slowly walked to the send of the table, taking her folder of photos and documents with her. With one hand she pulled out a handful of photos and flicked them on the table for the man before her who was obviously growing more uneasy by the second. He wearily eyed the photos of the young woman's battered body, pretending not to acknowledge the abundance of cuts, bruises, burns and discolorations on her skin.

"Any of this ringing a bell for you?" Amanda inquired. "Well I've got news for you, this woman you tried to erase is stronger than you thought; she's still alive. And she remembered everything that you did to her. Every bruise, every cut, every bite, every burn." Amanda was flashing back to the conversation she had with Trisha Moreno in her hospital room and suddenly felt her face beginning to get very hot.

"Now you can sit there and pretend like you don't know what the hell we're talking about, but I guarantee you that all of this is going to come right back around and bite you on the ass." She was directly in his face now, and for a moment Fin was scared that she was actually going to bite him. But their perp didn't back down an inch and he held her gaze, staring her right back down.

"I'm sorry to break up this little act of yours, sweets. But I already told you, I don't know what the hell it is you're talking about. I know my rights, and I want a lawyer. Now." Amanda briefly entertained the thought of risking suspension for slapping the perp clean out of his chair when the sound of Fin's chair sliding across the floor snapped her out of her daze. As she returned the contents of her folder, she gave her captive audience one last glare before walking out. The object of her fury only winked at her in response. Her fury subsided ever so slightly when she and Fin met their colleagues in the hallway.

"Well, I guess we all know what happens now," Fin said as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I already called Trisha to see if she could come in and make an ID. She said she'll be here in an hour," Nick piped up. "All we have to do now is wait."

The team turned back and gazed through the glass window into the interrogation room and watch the only possible suspect they had for the rape and kidnapping of Trisha Moreno, as he folded his arms behind his head, leaned back in his chair until the front legs lifted off the ground, and whistled gaily to himself.

* * *

"I don't see him."

"Just relax and take your time, there's no rush."

"He's not there."

Olivia sighed and exchanged looks with her partner who was standing on Trisha's left side.

"Trisha, are you absolutely sure?"

The young woman continued to stare through the glass into the room with the six men lined up against the wall, holding only number cards to identify themselves. They were all tall, muscular, and slender with dark hair and light eyes. Trisha forced herself to look into the eyes of each man, knowing full well that while she could see them, they couldn't see her, for it was not the face of her rapist that she remembered the most; it was the look of absolute cruelty and coldness in his eyes. Her attacker had gone so far as to hold her jaw tightly in his hands and force her to look directly into his eyes while he violated her, slapping or burning her as punishment for closing her eyes or trying to look away. It was those cold, dead eyes that she felt on her skin every time she removed her clothes, as if even though he could be miles away or even in another country, he could still somehow know when he body was completely exposed, and still take pleasure in the sight of her vulnerable form. It was a feeling Trisha knew she may never be able to escape as long as she lived. But at the moment, none of the men she was currently staring at through the thick glass was giving her that dreaded "vibe".

"I'm sure," Trisha said with finality. "I don't see him."

Olivia sighed and nodded while stroking Trisha's back reassuringly. She gave Nick a little nod as she led Trisha back into the squad room and Nick got the hint and pressed the intercom button on the wall. "Alright, we're done here," he said into the speaker. He stayed for a moment, watching the men file out of the room, closely watching number five, the very suspect that Fin and Rollins had brought in and questioned earlier that morning. Trisha had scarcely surveyed the men in the line-up for sixty seconds before wasting no time in declaring that she did not see the man who had held her captive for nearly three days; Nick doubted that Trisha had been lying to them. Nick rubbed a hand across his face in frustration when he spotted Fin walking towards him.

"Let me guess," he started, "We collared the wrong guy."

Nick sighed and nodded in response. "Trisha said she didn't see her attacker. It took her less than a minute. And the man we're looking for is still out there."

"We're running out of time though," Fin pointed out as they started to make their way to the squad room. "What are the chances that Trisha's rapist is still even in New York? A man who kidnaps and tortures women isn't going to stick around long. It's been almost three weeks and this guy could be clear across the country by now. We can't just sit back and wait until another victim pops up. The next one might not be as lucky. . ."

Fin suddenly realized that Nick had stopped walking and was standing with his hands on his hips, staring blankly at the wall. Fin turned to look at him, trying to read his face. "You okay?"

Nick didn't respond right away, instead he waited until he had gathered up his thoughts and feelings.

 _We're running out of time._

He realized that Fin was staring at him and pulled himself out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm good. I'll feel better once we find this son of a bitch though." He clapped Fin on the back as he walked past him. "I've got to go check on something, I won't be gone long." Fin had never been the type to unnecessarily pry into other people's business, especially when they were clearly in a mood, so he simply nodded and watched Nick grab his coat and walk out of the squad room. As he turned the corner Fin spotted out the corner of his eye Captain Cragen sitting at his office desk with the phone to his ear, his expression grim. He muttered something into the receiver, hung up and sighed heavily before covering his mouth with his hand.

Deciding to try his luck, Fin gently knocked on the door before speaking. "Everything alright, Cap?"

Hand still on his mouth, the captain shook his head and gestured for Fin to come inside and shut the door. He took a moment or two to compose himself before opening his mouth to speak. The words themselves felt incredibly heavy, as though it took all of his strength to get them out.

"That was Lieutenant James," the captain uttered. "Do you remember when I introduced you all to Detective Andy Lau last night?"

Fin nodded, crossed his arms over his chest and prepared for the worse.

"Detective Lau never showed up for work this morning, so James sent his partner to his house to check on him. They found the inside of his house completely ransacked 2 hours ago. But not before they found Andy's body underneath the back porch."

Fin's eyes went wide and his blood immediately turned cold. He couldn't move if he wanted to.

"They say his skull was completely crushed," Cragen continued. "No motive, no weapon, no suspect. Neighbors said they never heard a thing."

The two of them stood in Cragen's office in complete silence, letting the gravity of the situation sink in. Time seemed to stand still.

 _They had just seen him last night._

"Damn, so where does that leave us?" Fin asked, finally breaking the silence.

"I don't know yet," the captain replied, easing himself into his desk chair. "We've already got a lot on our plate as it is, and now this. . ."

"Should I tell the others?" Fin offered.

"No, I'll make an announcement after a while. I just need some time alone for a bit."

"Okay, Boss." Fin said softly.

Fin turned and started making his way back into the squad room. His hand had barely touched the doorknob with the captain spoke again.

"Hey Fin, where are we with Trisha Moreno's attacker?"

Fin turned to look at his superior officer, noting that Cragen wasn't looking at him but staring at the floor instead. "We're still working on that. We haven't given up yet." He started to turn the knob on the door when another thought pushed itself into his thoughts. "You don't think what happened to Detective Lau has anything to do with Trisha's case, do you?"

Cragen lifted his gaze from the carpet to stare at Fin, his expression neither confirming nor denying the question that was just given to him. Fin opened the door and stepped back out into the bustling squad room. His legs suddenly feeling heavy as he made his way back to his desk. Back inside the office, Cragen had now stood up from his chair and walked over to the large window on the far side of the room, gazing out at the street below him through the white blinds.

"What the hell have we gotten ourselves into?"

* * *

 **Two nights later-11:45PM**

Olivia took another sip out of her 3rd cup of coffee in the last hour as she continued to thumb through the countless files and paper work she had spread across her lap and the rest of the couch. She had been reading the same paragraph for the last 15 minutes and still had no idea what to make of it.

She definitely wouldn't be getting to bed anytime soon.

Her eyes were heavy and every few minutes she felt her head tip back against the couch cushions, but she would catch herself before she could nod off, down some more coffee, and continue to work. File after file of personal contacts and acquaintances for Trisha Moreno. Full detailed descriptions of her testimony of what she remembered from her ordeal and a lengthy description of the man who had thus far managed to elude arrest. Nearly four weeks of investigation and with one shake of Trisha's head, they were right back to square one. No new leads, no possible suspects.

Olivia picked up another piece of paper and stared at the tiny black text written on it, her mind recalling the conversation she and Trisha had in the squad room a few days before.

" _I'm sorry you had to call me in for nothing." Trisha said in a dejected tone._

" _You have nothing to apologize for," Olivia told her reassuringly. "This isn't over yet. We'll keep trying."_

 _Trisha nodded and sipped on the bottle of water that Olivia had given her. "How have you been doing?"_

 _Trisha shrugged, "Better I guess. I can only sleep a couple of hours at a time, and my brother won't let me out of his sight. I've talked to my professor's at school, they said they'll sent me my assignments electronically until I'm ready to come back to class, so that's kind of cool."_

" _That's good." Olivia remarked, offering a little smile. "And don't feel like you have to rush anything, okay? Take as much time as you need, just be sure to take care of yourself first."_

 _Trisha forced herself to smile back, even though she didn't want to. She looked around at the bustle going on in the squad room; everywhere she looked there were people skittering about, some in plain clothes and others in police uniforms. She suddenly felt very queasy._

 _ **You'll remember me the rest of your miserable life.**_

 _Trisha finally worked up the nerve to ask the question that had been dancing on the tip of her tongue since the moment she had entered the building._

" _What if you can't find him?"_

 _Olivia was so shocked by the spontaneous inquiry that for a moment she would've sworn that she had imagined it._

" _What do you mean, Trisha?"_

" _I read somewhere once that assaults are often by someone you know. I swear I never met the man who kidnapped me before that night. And I told you everything I could remember. But what if it's not enough? I mean he could've gotten on a plane and flew to another country, right? What if he does what he did to me to someone else? What if-?"_

 _Olivia could see the panic and frustration in Trisha's eyes and immediately cut her off._

" _Trisha, just calm down, okay? I know you've been through a lot and it's only natural for you to be concerned. But believe me, we're doing everything we can to find the man who kidnapped you. You've done a fine job of cooperating with us so far, now you just have to trust us and let my team do our job, okay?"_

 _The young woman nodded in agreement to appease the detective. "You're right. Thank you, Detective Benson."_

Even as she was escorting Trisha out of the squad room to the elevators, Olivia could still sense that Trisha was not all that convinced that the detectives who had been so gracious and attentive to her case would still be able to bring her rapist to justice. She probably thought Olivia was just patronizing her by filling her mind with pretty words that would make her feel better. Olivia had seen the same thing with other victims before and she knew that it would most likely be a long time before Trisha's mind would truly be at ease.

Olivia's concentration was broken by her cellphone ringing and vibrating on the coffee table. She reached over her mountain of paper work and answered it with her usual greeting, "Benson."

"Hey, what are you still doing up?"

Lucas.

"Hey, Lucas," she replied, slightly perked up by the sound of his smooth and sultry phone voice. "Nothing I'm just catching up on some stuff for work. What about you?"

"Not much," he replied. "Just got back from a walk and realized I couldn't stop thinking about you and how much fun we had the other day. I was worried when I didn't hear from you today. I thought maybe you were blowing me off."

Olivia smiled and twirled her pen between her fingers.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't call. It's just this case that I've been working on it's. . .it's pretty rough. I can't always just leave work at work, you know? Not to mentionI knew if we got together I'd just be a buzzkill."

"Don't say that," Lucas simpered. "You're strong and fierce and powerful. You can't just turn all that off, I get it. I wouldn't have you any other way."

Olivia was used to getting these kinds of compliments from her suitors, but something about the way Lucas did it sent goosebumps up and down her spine and she couldn't figure out why.

"Well unfortunately I'm going to be pretty tied down this week," she said as she maneuvered the phone between her ear and her shoulder. While she used one hand to push her files into a pile on one end of the couch, she used the other to grab her mug and made her way into the kitchen. "It looks like I'm going to be tied down for a while. So I'll have to take a raincheck on any plans we had of getting together this week. I hope you're not too disappointed."

"Ah, I'll manage. Business before pleasure."

On the other side of the line, Lucas leaned all the way back in his motel room bed, his head resting on the wooden headboard. He thoughtfully twirled a set of stolen keys around his finger; his room was completely dark except for the lone street light shining in his window from the parking lot being the motel.

"Didn't you mention something about having a bunch of vacation days lined up?"

"Mmhmm, what about them?" Olivia asked as she dumped the remaining contents of her mug down the sink.

"I was thinking that maybe you and I should get away for a while next weekend," he said carefully reciting the words he had been rehearsing all day. "My cousin has a house up in the Catskills. He's going to be out of town on business for the next few weeks and said I was welcome to it if I wanted it. I thought it would be the perfect chance for you and me to get away from the concrete jungle for a while. Plenty of fresh air, bike trails through the forest, a pristine lake. . ."

"Ooh, would we get to churn our own butter and go apple picking?" Olivia teased as she rinsed out her mug.

"You mean literally or are those more of the newer slang terms that I don't know about?"

Olivia nearly dropped her mug from laughing but managed to set it down carefully in the dish rack to dry.

"No really, it sounds like fun. In fact if you tell my captain about it I'm sure he'd make it mandatory and give you his blessing."

Lucas sneered into the darkness as he used one hand to continually toss the keys up in the air and catch them in the palm of his hand. "Great. You'll have the time of your life. You won't forget it, I can promise you that."

Olivia leaned on the kitchen counter and ran a finger through her already tousled hair, as if Lucas could see her through the phone. "Thanks for calling me tonight, Lucas. I've got to go now, I'll call you soon."

Lucas tossed the keys in the air one last time and caught them, tightly holding them in his giant fist.

He licked and pursed his lips before breathing into the phone, "Sweet dreams, baby."

* * *

 **So, what did you think? It took me longer than I anticipated to come up with this little teaser chapter and I kind of took it easy on you guys again with this chapter, but just so you know things are really going to heat up at this point. Things are really going to pick up and I'm throwing in a lot of surprises and I'm cooking up the big finale at this very moment. You surely won't forget it, I can promise you that much. There are 3 or 4 more chapters left at best so if it's any consolation, you're more than halfway done. Please feel free to comment and review and give me all of your thoughts, I'd really like to know what you think or even what you think is going to happen (I can't tell you if you're right or wrong of course :-P) As always, I can't thank you all so much for sticking with me all this time. I NEVER thought I'd make it this far. Your support and feedback is most appreciated! :-D**


	14. Take It

**Just a quickie to hopefully hold you guys over until the weekend. I literally JUST came up with this entire scene as a spur of the moment idea in less than 30 minutes. I have a lot of excuses for why I haven't updated in nearly a month but none of them are good. I just wanted to remind you all again that I have NOT abandoned this story and that it will be concluding soon. Thanks to everyone who has been supporting me this whole time, you know who you are. (Thanks for lighting a fire under my butt, Aspurgeon! You rock!)**

* * *

Trisha walked slowly through the sliding doors of the CVS, focusing her eyes straight ahead. She managed a small nod at the elderly employee that welcomed her inside the store but didn't open her mouth to speak. Pulling one hand out of her hoodie pocket she grabbed a small red shopping basket and casually walked up and down the aisles, her face expressionless. She stopped at the make-up section that was closest to the front doors and browsed through the rows of foundation, concealer, eye-liner, mascara, blush and eye shadow. She picked up and examined several tubes of lipstick, then moved onto the eyebrow pencils, not particularly interested in any of them.

She had been inside this drugstore hundreds of times before and each time she came inside for something she knew exactly what she wanted and where it was, intent on making her intended purchase and leaving the store as soon as possible, usually within 5 minutes or less. But today she continued to wander through the store, not in any particular hurry. See took her time going through every aisle, examining the cheap chocolates in the candy aisle, skimming through the Hallmark cards in the gift section, trying on hats that didn't flatter her at all, and sniffing pungent perfumes and colognes at the beauty counter. A few of the employees recognized her as they went about their business, but did not say anything to her as she ambled up and down the aisles almost in a daze, completely unaware of anyone else around. Nearly 30 minutes after initially walking into the store Trisha finally made her way to the cash registers up front with her basket of items. She kept her eyes down to the counter, nodding in reply when the woman with 'Shirley' on her nametag asked her, "Did you find everything okay, honey?" Shirley gave Trisha the total price of her items, and Trisha immediately handed her the wrinkled ten dollar bill in her hand. Shirley took the bill and counted Trisha change out loud before putting it in her out-stretched hand.

"Would you like the receipt in the bag, dear?" Another silent nod.

"Alright then, here you go. Have a nice day!" Shirley grinned as she handed Trisha her plastic bag of purchases. Trisha took it and walked out the store, careful not to bump into the woman and her small child walking next to her.

Trisha briskly walked back home, trying to keep her breathing steady as her heart pounded in her chest. Instead of entering through the front door as usual, she went around the side of the house and went through the backyard to the back door off the kitchen. She gently turned the knob as if it would break, and then poked her head inside.

Through the kitchen she could see straight into the living room. The television set was turned up to a high volume, sportscasters arguing over one another as they discussed plays of the New York Giants home game from last night. Trisha gingerly pushed the backdoor shut, making sure to lock it. She tiptoed into the living room and stuck out her neck to peer over the back of the couch facing the TV. Her brother Donnie had fallen asleep as usual with the TV on, his mouth hanging open and the remote placed in the middle of his belly.

Trisha wasted no time in running upstairs to her room, shutting and locking the door behind her. She took her plastic bag from the drugstore and turned it upside down, dumping the contents in the middle of her bed. Brushing aside the candy bar, a tube of lip gloss and a 'Cosmo' magazine, she singled out the white box and picked it up using her thumb and forefinger. As she read the big, bold white letters on the side of the box for the twentieth time her hands shook as if she were holding a grenade that could go off at any moment:

 **'CLEARBLUE DIGITAL PREGNANCY TEST'**


	15. My Girl

**Hello again, loyal readers! So fun fact; I've been up all night with hay fever and I am absolutely sick to my stomach! :-) The bad part is that I can't breathe through my nose, I haven't slept all night and my head is pounding. But the good news is that because I was unable to sleep, that gave me the motivation I needed to write out this chapter that you all have been waiting ridiculously long for! Depending on how I choose to stretch things out, there are definitely no more than 3 full chapters left. Things are definitely starting to heat up I plan on keeping you guys guessing until the very end. I hope I do not disappoint anyone. As usual, thank you all for being so patient with me and my recent bout of non-creativity. I try to come up with ideas days, if not weeks before I write a chapter but things just seem to turn out better when I come up with stuff at the last minute. For example, I came up with the first part of this chapter while sitting in the bathtub last night, and came up with the last half while sitting on the toilet LOL (TMI, I know, sorry). Anyway, I love you all so much for your support and for staying with me all this time. You guys are the shiz! Read, enjoy, and comment when you're done, and pardon any typos or obvious mistakes as I haven't had the chance to re-reread through it yet. Without further ado, on your marks, get set, A GO-GO-GO! (Oh and before I forget, I'm dedicating this chapter to one of my top three loyal supporters. Happy Belated Birthday, Aspurgeon! :-DD \^0^/)**

* * *

Lucas drummed this thumbs on the steering wheel as he hummed along to the radio, taking care to keep his eyes on the road. The light drizzle that had started as soon as they turned onto the main highway did little to dampen his current jolly mood. He had risen at the break of dawn that morning and showed up in front of Olivia's apartment with his truck packed with luggage and supplies for their long ride upstate. They had been on the road for nearly two hours already, talking back and forth about this and that and the itinerary for the next few days.

"Are you excited?" he probed when he announced they only had a few more hours to go.

"Yeah, I guess you can say I'm pretty anxious," Olivia had replied. "I've always been a city girl so I'm definitely looking forward to the fresh air. I think it'll be nice to take a deep breath for a change without having to inhale the scent of garbage and bus exhaust fumes." Lucas laughed at her joke.

"No, you won't have to worry about any of that up here. Just fresh mountain air and no public transit of any kind for miles and miles."

Olivia nodded then asked, "So are you going to tell me what exactly you have planned or are you going to make me guess? We're not going to be milking cows or churning butter are we?"

Lucas shook his head and positively beamed, "Oh no, I don't want to ruin the surprise. Let's just say that I have something much more special in mind. Nothing but the best for my girl."

Every few moments he'd steal a glance over at the passenger seat beside him where Olivia sat thumbing through a pamphlet about the Catskills of New York. This was really the first time he had ever seen her dressed this casual; a grey hoodie, blue jeans and black gym shoes, with her hair tied up in a messy ponytail. No jewelry and not a trace of make-up.

To him, she looked absolutely perfect.

After the song on the radio ended Lucas turned down the volume and increased the speed of the windshield wipers. Olivia noticed this and looked up from her pamphlet.

"Are you sure we'll be okay?" she asked, peering out and the slick road around them.

"Oh yeah, we'll be fine. Besides, we're too far out now, it's too late to turn back."

"Aren't you worried about the rain though?" she asked.

"Not really," he insisted. "Why? Are you scared they're going to miss you back at the station?" he inquired. He had to be driving about 50 miles an hour now.

"Are you kidding?" Olivia snickered. "All I did was mention that you had suggested taking me on a weekend trip upstate and my captain couldn't get me out the door fast enough. He said some time away from work would do me good, I'm starting to think he was right. Things around the station have been really tense these last few weeks."

"Really, why?" Lucas asked out of curiosity. Olivia flipped over her pamphlet and continued to skim over the detailed paragraphs next to the vivid pictures of tall trees, pristine lakes and cozy cabins.

"Oh, I don't want to talk about it now," she started off. She planned on changing the subject but something made her keep talking. Lucas cared enough to ask her what was going on with work, and he was a good listener after all.

"I mean it's just—you know that detective from my unit my captain introduced us to at the retirement party last week? Andy Lau?"

"Mmmhmm?"

"Well, the morning after the party his partner got worried when he didn't come into work so he stopped by his house. He found Andy's body stuffed under the porch in the backyard. Someone killed him in cold blood right after the party and just dumped him like it was nothing. "

Lucas's eyes went wide as he continued to stare at the road before him.

"What? You're kidding me! Damn, that's terrible. Do they know who did it?"

Olivia shook her head solemnly. "No suspects, no witnesses. The medical examiner said that someone hit him from behind with a heavy, blunt instrument and practically broke his skull on impact. The inside of his house was trashed too; tables and chairs turned over, lamps broken, office drawers emptied. Usually in cases like that the perp is someone the victim knew, but everyone insists that Andy was a dedicated cop who loved his job but mostly kept to himself."

Lucas took a hand of off the steering wheel and gripped Olivia's shoulder gently. "Don't worry about all that now, baby. Just put it out of your mind for now, the next couple of days are going to be all about you and me, remember?"

Olivia gave him a small smile in his direction as he briefly stroked the side of her face before returning his hand to the steering wheel.

"I know, and I appreciate it. Is just that this job. I mean I know I'm making a difference and that it's all about helping the victims and giving them closure but some of these perps…you can't image the type of scum of the earth I've had to put away."

"Is that right?" Lucas said in a bored tone that Olivia didn't notice.

"Yeah, I mean some of them were victims at some point themselves but a lot of them are just these freaks hell-bent on ruining other people's lives for the thrill of it. Granted some of them make my job a little easier. Unlike what you see in movies and on TV, most offenders really aren't that smart."

"Oh, I'm sure that's not true." Lucas had tightened his grip on the steering wheel now to the point that his knuckles were beginning to turn white. Olivia was still studying the pamphlet and had not noticed a thing. She was just venting now and not really thinking about her words.

"It is, trust me. They're just weak and pathetic. They're just these misogynist women haters trying to get back at their mothers, or an ex-girlfriend or some girl who rejected them at the high school dance. It's like they're trying to prove to the world how tough they can be. Strong men don't need to prove how tough they are by terrorizing old ladies and little girls though. What kind of a beast does that? Sometimes I just wish I could take a big steak knife and chop of their… Lucas, watch the road!"

Lucas's hands had been gripping the wheel so hard that they had turned numb. He was driving nearly sixty miles an hour now on a slippery road and had the truck not began to swerve he was sure the wheel would've broken off in his hands. He managed to compose himself and gently released his foot of the accelerator.

"Sorry about that," he apologized. "I guess I zoned out for a minute."

Instead of swiftly changing the subject Lucas simply turned the radio volume back up as a distraction. If Olivia was the slightest bit concerned she didn't verbalize it, and merely went back to thumbing through her pamphlet as if he had not just interrupted her little tirade just a moment ago. For a while neither of them said nothing more and all that could be heard was the pouring rain outside and the soft rock music playing on the radio. Physically Lucas kept his face expressionless, keeping his eyes on the road before him. But in his mind was a series of thoughts and plans all unraveling one right after the other. He saw them playing out right before his eyes as if he were watching a movie of himself; it was all he could do to not tremble with excitement. After another half hour or so Olivia let the passenger seat down and declared that she was going to take a nap. She shut her eyes and it wasn't long after that Lucas could hear her deep inhaling and exhaling.

Why did he have to be behind the wheel of this truck right now? They were still out on the open highway and there wouldn't be another rest-stop for miles. If they had been anywhere else he would have taken her right there and then without the slightest hesitation. Over and over in his mind he replayed what he could do to her, what he wanted to do to her, and what he _would_ do to her. He had a rough idea but in truth the possibilities were endless.

' _This one is special'_ , he kept telling himself.

' _Just calm down, get a hold of yourself. Be patient. You've got plenty of time. You'll have her all to yourself soon. This is what it's been all about all along. You'll have as much time to do her as you want. If nothing else, you've got to make this one count.'_

The light drizzle turned into a full on shower and Lucas finally decided that it was best if they stopped at the first rest-stop they came across to relieve themselves and wait out the rainstorm for a while. As soon as they pulled into a parking space Olivia immediately pulled her hoodie over her head and made a beeline for the bathrooms. After reassuring her that he was right behind her, Lucas waited until she was absolutely out of view before reaching underneath the driver's seat. He pulled out an emergency kit that he hand placed there himself the day before, delicately opened the tin box and pulled out the revolver stashed inside. He looked up and glanced around him to make sure no one was watching, then slowly turned the gun over and over in his hands as if it were a priceless artifact. Just feeling the weight of the steel in his hands made him smile in satisfaction and it gave him reassurance that absolutely nothing could possibly go wrong with his intended activities.

' _Make this one count.'_

Satisfied, he returned the gun to the emergency kit, secured it back underneath his seat, then exited the truck to join Olivia in the warm and dry shelter.

* * *

 **7:30PM-Manhattan Special Victims Unit**

It had been a while since Donald Cragen could remember the last time he had stayed in his office this late. As he currently shifted through the hoard of papers on his desk, most of his squad had already gone home for the weekend and now only he and a few other stragglers remained in the office getting some late night work done for other cases. Earlier that afternoon when he came in he had half expected to see Detective Benson sitting at her desk bent over a stack of paperwork even though he had warned the downstairs security to throw her out on-sight if she tried to enter the building. Her hard work and dedication to her sworn duty was unquestioned but even he knew that it was never a good idea to make one's work the center of their entire life; it was something that he had learned the hard way himself.

After Olivia's former partner Detective Stabler resigned he expected her to retreat slightly from her work and maybe even ask to use some the dozens of vacation days she's had piling up over the years. But instead her attention to her work had changed very little in the weeks after Stabler's departure. Maybe it was a front, maybe it wasn't. Anytime anyone asked her how she was doing they were met with the response they had all heard a hundred times over: "I'm fine." This current investigation of the kidnapping and rape of Trisha Moreno had taken its toll on all of them of course but it seemed to have resonated with Olivia in particular. And now with the death of a fellow officer he knew that the entire squad would be taking the loss to heart. So the moment Olivia had brought up that she had been thinking about a getaway trip with her newest beau upstate for a long weekend, Cragen wasted no time in giving her his approval. While he knew that Olivia would never let someone get in the way of her work, he had to admit that he was pleased that Olivia had recently seemed to find someone who could act as a temporary distraction and provide her with some outside company and release, however she chose to find that "release" was obviously none of his business of course. But Detective Benson was a woman scorned in more ways than one and he above everyone else wanted to see her find happiness in whatever form it decided to show itself to her.

A sudden knock on his office door jarred him out of his thoughts.

"Come in."

The captain was shocked to see none other than Lieutenant Edward James enter his office.

"Lieutenant," the captain said as he set his papers down and rose out of his chair. "I wasn't expecting you."

"Evening, Don," the lieutenant greeted rather somberly. "I know I probably should've called you first but it was urgent and I just couldn't explain it over the phone. Have you got a minute?"

"Of course. Please, have a seat." The lieutenant first shut the door behind him before taking a seat across from Captain Cragen. The captain watched his superior officer closely as he took his own seat again, waiting for him to speak. "Is everything alright?" he pressed.

Lieutenant James sighed heavily then said, "I'm afraid not, Don. There's really no way for me to ease into this." Cragen nodded, silently urging James to continue.

"You remember the night before Detective Lau was murdered, when we were all talking at O'Malley's retirement party?"

"Yes, of course."

James leaned forward and placed his hands on Cragen's desk. "Well, Andy decided to sneak away early, and to be honest I kind of saw it coming. Anyway, he called me while he was on the road from his cellphone, and I had left my phone in my coat pocket at my table so I didn't answer it and he left me a voicemail. You know I never really stick to my cellphone like the others do." James suddenly leaned back in his chair and rubbed his hand over his face.

"I should've checked it the minute I got back to the table. I might've been able to save Andy's life. I just wasn't thinking…"

"It's alright, Eddie," Cragen insisted. "There's no way you could've known. Did Andy say something important in the message he left you?"

"That's what we're still trying to figure out," James continued. "He left the message at 11:30PM and according to the medical examiner, Andy was murdered sometime after midnight. I'd just missed him, Don!" The lieutenant was beginning to get upset again but Captain Cragen was able to calm him and urged him to finish his explanation.

"Anyway, I didn't even see the message until the day after they found his body in the backyard. I still have it saved here."

The lieutenant pulled out his phone from his coat pocket, flipped it open and after pressing a few buttons played the message on speaker phone so that both he and the captain could hear it. The programmed voice on the phone recited, _'You have one saved message'_ before playing the actual voicemail. It was the voice of Detective Andy Lau, most likely the last words he spoke just minutes before meeting his brutal end. The message was slightly muffled by the sound of road noise and passing cars:

' _Hello, Lieutenant James? It's Lau. I'm really sorry about leaving the party so soon, I kind of felt a headache coming on and figured I could slip out before anyone missed me. Listen, uh, there's something that I wanted to run by you that I couldn't say in front of the other guests at the party. You know that guy that came in with Detective Benson, she said his name was Lucas? I know this might sound a little crazy but I immediately got this vibe when I saw him that I had met him somewhere before but I couldn't remember and it's been driving me crazy all night. I sat outside in the parking lot in my car for 10 minutes wrecking my brain trying to figure it out then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Back when I was still in Boston a couple of years ago we collared this guy for an assault and battery charge. I know it was a while ago but you know that my memory is pretty sharp. I'm almost positive the guy we picked up was named William Lucas and that he's the same guy who came in with Benson tonight. I never found out how he made out with the assault and battery charge but I think they found out that he had a record, and I'm willing to bet anything that Detective Benson has no idea. This is kind of urgent so I was thinking about coming into the office tomorrow and running his name through the system, just in case it turns out he's a repeat offender but I wanted to give you a heads up first. Call me a soon as you get a chance.'_

' _End of messages.'_

Captain Cragen continued to stare at the phone in Lieutenant James's hand after the message ended, his eyes were wide and his mouth suddenly felt dry. He kept replaying the message over and over in his head, committing it to memory.

More bad news. How much more could they possibly take?

James closed his phone and carefully set it down on Cragen's desk.

"Don, I think Detective Benson may be unknowingly associating with a repeat sex offender. I had my people run his name through the system but I left to come tell you before they got a hit. Since this involves your squad member I thought you had a right to know first. I think we should notify Detective Benson as well. Can you call her now and ask her to come to the station?"

Captain Cragen suddenly looked up at his colleague as if he had just made the most absurd suggestion he had ever heard. It took a moment for him to find his words; it was as though his body was trying to reject them before they could leave his mouth.

"Detective Benson", he said in an unsteady voice, "Just left for a long weekend with Lucas to the Catskills upstate. I gave her the permission to go myself." His voice cracked slightly at that last admission. James gaped at him from the other side of the desk, his face completely frozen. In the loud silence of the room hours seemed to pass by instead of mere minutes.

"Dear God, Don," the lieutenant asked barely above a whisper. "What the hell do we do now?"

* * *

Lucas's key, after several tries finally managed to find the keyhole in the front door and he quickly turned it twice to the right until he heard the click, then pushed it open and ran inside with Olivia hot on his heels. After he slammed the door shut behind him both he and Olivia immediately dropped their damp luggage to the floor. Once they had pulled up to the front of the house in the truck they decided to make a break for it to the entrance and the two of them now stared at each other, trying to catch their breath. In the roughly twenty feet they had to run up to the front door both of them had gotten drenched in the torrential downpour.

"Well," Olivia remarked, still panting and running a hand through her dripping hair. "That was fun."

"Actually considering how late we left the rest-stop, I'd say we made it in pretty good time," Lucas insisted. Olivia opened her mouth to respond to his comment but she was suddenly captivated by the interior of the almost dark foyer where they were currently standing. She had not gotten the chance to get a good look at the building before they had pounded their way to the front door. Lucas had described it as a cabin but from where Olivia was standing the structure appeared to not really be a cabin at all but a rather smallish mansion. The ceiling alone was over a hundred feet high, and there was even a staircase that led to the bedrooms on the second level. There was a kitchen adjacent to the front entry and to the right of it a small dining room, and to the left of it a rather spacious living room with a large flat screen television set mounted on the wall. All the floors were hardwood and decorated with flattering area rugs. The air smelled of fresh evergreen and nothing like the smog of Manhattan. If she had not already known that it was a private home, Olivia thought one might have mistaken it for an out-of-the-way bed and breakfast.

"Remind me again how you convinced your cousin to let you take this place for the weekend?" Olivia asked Lucas as he removed his dripping jacket and hung it on the coat rack behind the door.

"Oh, I really didn't have to twist his arm too much," Lucas said casually, finding a light switch and flipping it on. As he stepped over the luggage to stand behind Olivia the house shook as thunder rumbled outside. The wind was causing the rain to fall sideways now and they could hear it hitting the window panes.

"Well, it looks like we're not going anywhere else for the night," Olivia remarked. "What should we do now?"

Lewis stood closer to Olivia until his chest was touching her back. He wrapped two of his large arms around her as they found the front of her drenched hoodie and he used one hand to unzip it while he placed the other one around her neck.

"I think I have an idea you might like," he whispered into her ear.

After removing the wet hoodie from around her and tossing it on the floor, Lucas began to plant soft kisses on Olivia's neck and the side of her face.

"You wilderness boys sure don't like to waste time, do you?" Olivia simpered, not hating her current position one bit.

Without warning Lucas suddenly swept Olivia off of her feet and held her bridal-style in his strong arms.

"Oh you haven't seen anything yet," he proclaimed seductively.

Olivia couldn't help but laugh as he carried her up the stairs to the second floor and into the first open bedroom he found.

* * *

 **Holy crap, things don't look pretty right now, do they? :-( So they've at least figured out that Lucas/Lewis has a shady past and is up to no good, but they still don't know who killed Detective Lau or who Trisha's rapist/kidnapper is. Oh that's right, Trisha might be pregnant too! And now Olivia is literally in his clutches and her team is hours away. Are they going to get to her in time or will her captor put her out of her misery first? No seriously, I'm asking because I have no idea myself.** **Thanks for reading! Stick around for the grand finale of 'Damaged Lady'!**


	16. It's Raining

***insert pointless excuses here***

 **I can't believe it's been like 5 weeks since I updated last. . .INEXCUSABLE!**

 **But seriously a lot of stuff has been going on with me lately, including a chance interaction I had with Pablo Schreiber (aka the actor who played William Lewis on SVU. He's such a sweet guy in real life, I can't stress that enough. . .message me if you want details!)**

 **Anyway, I didn't get a chance to proofread yet because it's late and I need to get to bed. Be gentle.**

* * *

Lucas's blood pumped in excitement as he carried Olivia up to the second floor of the cabin to the first bedroom on the right. He wasted no time in dropping his pretty prey on the large queen sized bed, and Olivia laughed in amusement as she bounced on the mattress. Lucas was on top of her in an instant, muffling her chuckles by sealing his mouth over her own. Olivia courteously kissed him back as she gently slid her hand behind his head before running it through his dark hair. She gasped in surprise when he grabbed both her hands and pressed them into the bed, firmly but not enough to cause pain or raise alarm. For a few moments the only sounds that were audible were their expressions of passion and the rainstorm pounding against the windows on the other side of the room. Olivia was content with Lucas's displays of affection until she could no longer ignore the way Lucas aggressively pawed at her in the darkness, pulling and tugging at her clothes and digging his fingers into the flesh around her hips.

"Lucas—Lucas wait, slow down," she gasped when she managed to tear her mouth away from his. "You don't like to waste time, do you?" she panted. Lucas put his lips right to Olivia's ear as he whispered seductively, "A good scout is always prepared." Olivia noticed that did hold back on his pawing of her body, albeit only slightly. Lucas continued to kiss and nibble at Olivia's neck and collarbone, and Olivia closed her eyes completely lost in the moment. While her eyes were closed Lucas suddenly sifted his weight on top of his lover, hovering over Olivia by propping himself up using a hand placed a few inches away from Olivia's head. While a flash of lightening briefly illuminated the room, the thunder that followed gave Lucas his cue to use his free hand to reach into his back pocket to pull out the prize inside; a switchblade. Lucas smiled into Olivia's neck and had just managed to curl is fingers around the handle of the blade when the sound of the doorbell ringing.

They were both startled out of their blissful states and Olivia stared first out into the hallway, then at Lucas in confusion.

"Who could that be?" Olivia whispered.

"Just ignore it," Lucas urged, trying to push Olivia back down.

Before Olivia could protest the doorbell rang again followed by someone knocking loudly on the door, yelling something that was inaudible. Lucas frowned and looked over his shoulder out the door.

 _Were the cops following us this whole time? I thought I was being extra careful._

Intent on getting rid of the uninvited caller, Lucas readjusted his clothes before stomping down the stairs, not bothering to hide the annoyance on his face as he opened the front door. The unwanted guest was an average sized Black male, only a few inches shorter than Lucas himself. His face and the jacket he was wearing were both completely soaked.

"Good evening, sorry I'm late but it's a mess out here," the man shouted through the wind and rain.

Lucas stared the man up and down, taking notice of the red metal toolbox he was holding. The gentleman stood as if expecting to be invited in, but Lucas was still holding the door halfway closed and didn't make room for the man to pass inside. When the man noticed this, he added, "I'm Jerry, the maintenance man. Mr. Lau gave me a key and asked me to come up before the weekend to check on the pipes before the storm hit. He didn't mention anyone was staying here though. I saw your truck out front and knocked instead of using the key." Jerry looked Lucas up and down before continuing. "Are you a friend of the family?"

Before Lucas could open his mouth to answer, Olivia appeared on the stairs, one hand gripping the railing. "Lucas, who is it?" she inquired.

Her presence briefly distracted Lucas and it gave Jerry the chance to nudge past the slightly larger man into the warm, dry foyer. He greeted Olivia as he set down his toolkit and pulled off his sopping jacket. "Evening, ma'am, I'm Jerry. Sorry to interrupt but I was supposed to come in and check on some work I was doing in the basement before the storm started up. Shouldn't take me longer than half an hour. . ."

Lucas managed to stop fuming longer enough to cut off Jerry before he said too much.

"He's the maintenance man, honey. I forgot to mention that he was coming. Wait don't you go back and wait for me upstairs, and I'll show him to the basement so he can get to work and be on his way?" He flashed Olivia a wide grin, reminding her of where they had just left off. She nodded in their direction as she turned and headed back up the stairs, "Alright, I think I'll just go freshen up first."

Jerry and Lucas both watched her disappear up the stairs before Jerry spoke up, "That won't be necessary; I know this house like the back of my hand." He picked up his toolbox and headed down the hallway off the entry way, then opened a door that opened to a flight of stairs leading into the basement. Lucas listened as Jerry's footsteps on the stairs became faint, and he clenched and unclenched his hands and he carefully weighed his options.

' _I didn't go through all of this trouble just to end up babysitting some two-bit handyman for half the night.'_

Looking around to make sure he was definitely alone, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out the switchblade he had been specially saving for tonight. He delicately flicked open the blade, turning it over slowly in his hands so that the light bounced off it. He took his finger and used it to first trace the flat side of the blade, then touched the pointy tip of it. He could now hear Jerry starting to shuffle and bang around in the basement, the floor vibrating slightly underneath his boots.

' _It won't take me long to get rid of him, I'll dump him just as quick as I did that other cop. I came all the way here for a good time and I'm not looking for an audience.'_

More sounds of clamor came from the basement.

' _Or. . .am I?'_

Lucas could see the pieces of his newest plan start to fall into place and the prospect of altering the original itinerary for the night nearly made him laugh out loud. Lucas sheathed the switchblade and had just slid it into his pocket when another sound suddenly grabbed his attention; the muffled sounds of a ringtone. He traced the sound to the pocket of Olivia's grey hoodie that hung behind the front door. He glanced up towards the stairs, waiting to see if Olivia's trained ears picked up the sound as well, but she appeared to be well out of earshot. Lucas let the phone ring four more times until it finally stopped, and only removed it from the pocket when he heard the voicemail alert.

He immediately unlocked the phone, played the last message and held the phone up to his ear.

' _You have one new message. First message. "Hey Olivia, it's Nick. Listen this is really important; the captain just got some new leads on who killed Detective Lau last week and it looks like the prime suspect is your friend Lucas. It looks like Lau ran into him back at the Boston PD a couple of years ago and Lucas remembered him and wanted him to keep quiet about something. I'll explain everything later, just call me back as soon as you get this message and tell us where you are. Try and stall him if you can and don't do anything that might tip him off that we're onto him. Call me back."_

 _End of messages.'_

A peaceful, almost tranquil expression spread itself across Lucas's face as took the phone away from his ear and calmly deleted the message. He then shut the phone completely off, so that there would be no more alerts of any kind, then slyly stashed it in the front right pocket of his jeans. He could not have been happier if it had been his birthday. Just then there was another loud clap of thunder and its echo made the dishes in the china cabinet in the next room rattle.

' _Detective Benson, you might just be the luckiest woman in the world right now.'_

* * *

Detective Amaro paced back and forth in the squad room with his phone to his ear, unable to hide his frustration and impatience any longer; that was the third time his call had went straight to Benson's voicemail.

"Anything?" Detective Tutuola asked as he watched the younger detective in anxious anticipation.

"No, nothing," Nick answered him dejectedly. "I called 5 times in the last half hour and left 2 voicemails and a text message, she's not picking up."

"So what now?" Detective Rollins probed, who stood next to Fin with her arms crossed. "We have no way of telling where she is or even if they're still on the move. We can't just sit back and wait. What about putting out a search for the plates on Lucas's car?"

"We could, but we don't even have a plate number for the cops up state to look for," Amaro pointed out. "Plus Lucas could've rented one for all we know."

"Jesus Christ," Rollins muttered as she rubbed her hands across her face.

"Listen, let's not go to the worst case scenario this early," Munch piped up. Even he knew when it was time to put his own wisecracks in check. "Just because Liv's not answering her phone doesn't mean she's in trouble. Maybe she got Nick's messages and just can't make the call right now. Olivia's smart, for all we know she has Lucas tied up somewhere and is just stabilizing the situation herself. She could call at any minute."

"Don't count on it," Captain Cragen said as he emerged from his office. "There's a thunderstorm watch effective across upstate New York until 5AM tomorrow morning, which means all forms of electronic communication including telephone lines are currently compromised. Which means that even if Olivia is safe for now, this storm is going to set us back at least two to three hours."

Only Fin had the guts to say out loud what the rest of the squad was already thinking to themselves.

"So you're telling us that we're looking at a potential cop killer, possibly armed and dangerous, who has another cop trapped somewhere in a house in the Catskills of upstate New York in the middle of a huge storm and there's a huge possibility that she won't have any way of identifying her exact location or request for back up within the next eight hours?"

His comrades only confirmed his suspicious with their silence.

"Screw that, I say we get to moving."

* * *

Olivia splashed another handful of cold water on her face then gently pat it dry with the wash cloth she took from the side of the sink. She ran a wet hand through her still slightly rumpled hair and examined her face in the mirror. The thunder continued to rumble outside and even inside the posh, windowless bathroom she could still hear the rain whipping against the side of the house in all its fury. She glanced around the room before stepping back into the bedroom, taking in the porcelain tub, the fancy light fixtures on the vanity mirror, and the sparkling blue tile on the floor and along the walls. This cabin was really too classy to just be someone's getaway resort, she reasoned. It was really large enough to be someone's permanent house. How exactly did Lucas say he convinced his cousin to let him use this place for the weekend again?

She switched off the light in the bathroom and stepped back into the bedroom, half expecting to see Lucas laying casually in bed waiting for her, his foxy grin already in place. But in the darkness of the room she could tell that she was still alone and that Lucas had not returned. She was slightly disappointed, but she had waited longer to get some action before and she reasoned that a few more minutes wouldn't exactly kill her. She felt along the wall by the doorway until she found the light switch and took some time to survey the room. Whoever the decorator was clearly had high class tastes. The theme of the room was centered on the colors red and black and it all coordinated nicely with the hardwood floors. Olivia was taking in the fine finishing on one of the dressers when something caught her attention just above it; a photo hanging in a picture frame. Unlike the photos hanging in the bathroom of outside scenery and wild animals this photo was actually a photo taken by someone. As Olivia moved closer to inspect the photo she could see from the fading colors that it was no less than thirty years old. The photo was of a young Asian couple sitting next to each other and wearing what appeared to me traditional clothing; both the man and the woman wore bright red fabric made of silk as well as extravagant headdresses that she had never seen before. She paid special close attention to their solemn smiles as they stared back at her.

 _An engagement photo? Or maybe a wedding? Who are these people? Does Lucas even know the people?_

Olivia's mind continued to crank out questions about the origin of the photo as she slowly turned to look around her when another artifact caught her eye. On the opposite side of the room by the double windows hung three other picture frames, only instead of pictures they contained some sort of certificates or degrees. Olivia moved closer to try and read what it said but the writing was not in English. Thanks to spending years bent over take-out menus, she narrowed it down to either Mandarin or Cantonese, but this new information only raised more questions.

 _That's odd. Lucas's cousin must really be fascinated with East Asian culture._

In spite of her better judgement she thought back to the last few days when she had Lucas had been making plans for this little weekend getaway trip. Aside from making it clear that the entire point of the trip would be for amorous activity, as far as she could remember Lucas had never once mentioned any details about the cabin itself, only that it was "in a nice, secluded location where it could just be the two of them alone". Olivia could tell when they first walked in that this wasn't an ordinary cabin, and she had only been half joking when she noted that this place actually looked like someone's home.

 _Not possible, he had his own key and everything. I'm just having trouble getting out of "Detective Mode". I'll just ask him about it when it comes back and then we can get on with our weekend._ _Where is he anyway? He said he'd be right back up. If he and Jerry are caught in a gab-fest I might as well look around some more._

Olivia stepped out of the bedroom and into the hallway and listened for the sounds of two men talking. Aside from clattering coming from the basement, she could only hear the wind and the rain howling outside. She swiftly walked down to the room with the closed at the far end of the hall, mentally reprimanding herself for letting her curiosity get the best of her. Somehow even while miles and miles away from Manhattan, she still couldn't manage to drag herself out of work-mode.

 _Just because you take off the badge, that doesn't mean that you stop being a cop._

Olivia placed a hand on the doorknob of the closed room and gently turned it, opening the door all the way before finally stepping inside. The room was dark, but using the light from the hallway she could tell that this was not another bedroom. Her suspicions were confirmed after she felt along the inside wall for a moment then turned on the lights; this room was someone's personal office space.

Back downstairs Lucas had been making his own discoveries within the beautifully designed kitchen. Ignoring the marble countertops and stainless steel appliances, he was instead enthralled with the utensils he found inside the various drawers; he was particularly fascinated with the various sized steak knives. He felt as if he were a pirate that had just stumbled upon someone else's prized treasure chest. As he picked up and examined one of the knives he found himself reminiscing about the last time he used one this size. He could still see her face clearly in his mind, and how he had gently glided the flat edge of the blade against her soft brown cheek, smearing her dried tears, watching her tremble uncontrollably, expecting him to cut her face open at any moment and completely helpless to do anything to stop it.

' _Have you ever tasted your own blood before, Trish…?'_

"Excuse me?"

Lucas was pulled out of his pleasant memory once again by the unannounced and uninvited visitor. He kept his back turned as he unhurriedly returned the knife to the drawer from which he took it. Jerry was wiping his hands on a rag as he spoke, not seeming to mind that the young man he was speaking too wasn't giving him any eye contact.

"The basement looks like it'll hold up in this storm, it shouldn't flood if the ground water backs up."

"Great, thanks for coming out. We really appreciate it."

Lucas turned around now to face Jerry, a content and almost coy expression on his face.

Jerry normally prided himself on being a man who could hold his own ground and feared little. He was friendly by nature, but was not a pushover by any means, so he knew that he wasn't just being paranoid when something about the man grinning in front of him made him uncomfortable. He couldn't quite put his finger on why just yet, but he could feel it in his gut.

He had been taught all his life that every sane man, no matter how strong he is, fears something. And the smile that he saw now was definitely the smile of a man who feared nothing. Jerry managed to maintain his composure though, and his voice was calm and composed when he said, "Unfortunately the storm is picking up and I won't be able to drive far back into town. I hate to do this to you but I'm afraid I'll have to stay put for a while. I'm really sorry but—"

Lucas waved his hand and shook his head. "Not at all, I understand. I couldn't stand it if I let you go out and get caught in all that mess. Stay here as long as you like." His smile was even bigger now, like Jerry's situation was the answer to all of his prayers. He needed to get away from him, to get some air.

"You mind if I have a smoke on the back porch?" Jerry asked. He had already started walking towards the back porch just off the kitchen, not bothering to wait for a response.

"Be my guest, I'll have one with you."

A few minutes later, Jerry managed to still hide his displeasure as the two men stood on the back porch and smoked in silence for a while, watching the spectacle of the thunderstorm on the other side of the large windows that separated them from the backyard. Every few moments a sudden bolt of lightning would illuminate the sky and everything around them. Jerry listened to the rain that pelted against the glass before finally bringing up the question that had been on his mind since Lucas first opened the door.

"So, how do you know the Lau's? Are you a friend of the family?"

At first it seemed like Lucas was purposely ignoring the question; he took a long drag on his cigarette and slowly exhaled the smoke before finally answering, "Yes, I guess you could say that."

"I see," Jerry replied with a nod. "It's just weird because they knew that I was coming here today, but they never mentioned you."

Lucas let a clap of thunder pass over before answering, "It was kind of a last minute thing, I don't blame them for not bringing it up."

Jerry took a long drag on his own cigarette and dug his free hand into his pocket. "Fair enough. So how do you know them?"

Lucas took his cigarette out of his mouth and leaned against the beam behind his back, "I was a friend of their son, Andy." He made it clear with the tone of his voice that he was not at all interested in this conversation.

"Oh really," Jerry inquired, "I don't remember seeing you as his funeral last week. Maybe I just missed you."

Lucas could hear it in Jerry's voice that he was getting to the bedrock of the point of this conversation.

"What can I tell you? We had a falling out a couple of years ago, and we never got a chance to make things right between us. It was never the right place or the right time. People change a lot over the years, you know? Sometimes you don't get up the courage to say what you really want to say until it's too late."

Jerry nodded thoughtfully as if in agreement, "I think you're right, Lucas. And you want to know something else? I think you're full of shit."

Lucas remained surprisingly calm and almost bored. He merely glanced at Jerry out the corner of his eye. "What makes you so sure?" he asked quietly. Jerry had run out of patience though, and he could no longer keep up this façade. He dropped his cigarette and put it out under the heel of his shoe. Then he stepped in front of Lucas, the slight difference in their height did nothing to startle him in the least.

"You listen to me, you low budget Matthew McConaughey. I don't know who the hell you are or how you got in this house, but I'm a pretty understanding guy and you seem to be a pretty smart man yourself. So I'm going to do you a favor, instead of calling the cops, I'm just going to ask you and your lady friend to pack up your shit get the hell out of this house. As a matter of fact, I'll even help you out."

Jerry began to walk past Lucas back into the kitchen, and the last thing he heard was the faint 'flick' of the pocket knife. Before he could turn around to address the sound, Lucas had grabbed Jerry's head and bashed it as hard as he could against the wooden doorframe. But Jerry was stronger than he anticipated and after staggering for a moment, he pulled back a hand and swung it towards Lucas's face. With his vision blurred he just missed the edge of Lucas's jaw. Lucas swiftly kicked him in the shin, causing Jerry to drop down to his knees. Lucas used one hand to grab Jerry by his shirt collar, then used the other to punch him twice in the face. When the light finally went out of Jerry's face, Lucas let his body drop to the floor like a ton of lead. He was only knocked out; still alive but barely. The party was just getting started now, and Lucas had managed to find himself one eager spectator.

A loud roar of thunder passed directly over the house and the tremor was so fierce that the windowpanes on the porch rattled violently.

" _That's enough of the dress rehearsal; time for the main event."_

* * *

 ** _You all are going to hate me this next chapter, I can promise you that. You have been warned. Major thanks to everyone who's been putting up with me and my BS this whole time. I am not worthy of you._**


	17. Mists-Part 1

**Happy New Year, my babies! Here's your New Year's Day gift! Sorry it took me longer than I thought. Part 2 of "Mists" is already underway, so please be patient! It's almost over guys, buckle up, there's definitely going to be some turbulence! (Apologies again for typos, I'm going to revise it eventually, I promise!)**

* * *

Olivia walked cautiously into the office, her footsteps barely audible against the raging storm outside. Her eyes traced over the perimeter of the room, trying to take in everything at once. It was a rather large office for a cabin in the Catskills, but it was cozy and the air smelled of the wood finish of the mahogany desk on the far side of the room. Part of her was aware of how disrespectful it was to snoop through someone's private rooms without cause, but once she got started she could not stop. Being a cop for over a decade had taught her to trust and follow her instincts, and majority of the time her instincts turned out to be right. Olivia continued to walk to the far side of the room to examine the countless photos hanging up; more photos of friends and relatives of Asian descent. Further along the wall she saw clippings of what she could only assume were pictures and articles from a newspaper written in a foreign language.

' _Who are these people?'_ Was the question that continued to pound in her head with each beat of her heart.

Olivia was no fool, it was clear now that this cabin was someone's home and she and Lucas were trespassing. But knowing that alone didn't give her enough satisfaction. She still needed answers to on exactly whose property they were trespassing. She continued to scan the room, intending on leaving the room in the same state that she found it in if at all possible. The office contained an interesting assortment of foreign knick-knacks hanging along the walls, clearly all from the home country of their owner. After passing over a few notes and letters that she could not read, Olivia's eyes fell on something that she could actually comprehend; she had to read it three times over before her mind finally put the pieces together.

 ** _Dear David, I would like to congratulate you on your youngest son Andy graduating from the police academy. I know that you were disappointed at first when Andy told you that he wanted to become a police officer, but you know that your youngest son has always been a hard worker when he puts his mind to something that he is passionate about. He will need support and encouragement from his mother and father while he is working in Boston. I trust that he will be successful in his chosen career and continue to make you both proud. In case I do not get to see you before I return to Taipei for the summer, good luck with your business in New York and I wish your family health and happiness._**

 ** _-Sincerely,_**

 ** _Chen Liu_**

It did not take her long to connect the dots and once she did she felt sick to her stomach.

' _This is Andy Lau's family's cabin. Lucas told me the cabin belonged to his cousin. So how did he get the keys to. . .?'_

Olivia's blood felt like it had turned ice cold. She couldn't move, everything was numb. But she knew one thing, she had to get out of this house. NOW.

A loud clap of thunder brought her back to reality. She can't just run screaming into the night during a thunderstorm. Even if she wanted to, Lucas still had the keys to the truck. And if she got a hold of the keys somehow where would she go? She had slept for most of the last part of their drive up here and had only woken up just as they were pulling up to the front of the house. And what about the maintenance man down in the basement? Was she just going to take off and leave him here to fend for himself? She had a sworn duty to do no such thing, so what was her best option?

"Everything alright, baby?"

Olivia nearly jumped out of her skin and hit the ceiling at the sound of Lucas's voice coming from the doorway. She was so engrossed in her thoughts she had not even heard him come up the stairs. She tried to hide her surprise and return her breathing to normal as she slowly turned around to face him; an amused smirk was plastered on his face.

"Doing a little snooping? Find anything good?" He jammed his hands into the pockets of his jeans stared at her with wide, unblinking eyes. Olivia decided to play it cool.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I guess I got a little restless when I was waiting for you, you were gone so long."

Lucas watched her for a moment, as if deciding whether or not he wanted to believe her. After a moment he took his hands out of his pockets and walked toward her, very slowly.

"You missed me?" he asked coyly.

Olivia could only stare at him as he approached her, and she held her breath as he cupped her jaw in his and kissed her hard. It took all of the strength and self-control she could muster to not pull back. She had no idea just who she was dealing with or whether or not she was in any real danger yet. Regardless, she needed to distract him; she couldn't stay in this house a minute longer. She would rather take her chances out in the storm.

"You have me all to yourself now, sweetheart," he whispered. "No more distractions." He kissed her again as he hands began to wander down her torso and then around her hips. "Why don't we take this back to the bedroom?" Olivia managed to pull herself away from Lucas and swiftly side stepped around him to the doorway.

"Yeah, of course. I just. . .I need my phone. I want to check my messages before it gets too late."

Without waiting for him to reply she exited the room and briskly walked down the hallway towards the stairway, and he could hear Lucas not far behind her. She maintained composure as she walked down the stairs and made a beeline for her hoodie that was hanging on the hook near the front door. She checked the left pocket for her phone and when she didn't find it she checked the right pocket, but it wasn't there either.

 _I could've sworn I put it in the left pocket. Did I drop it outside? Or leave it inside the truck? Where is it dammit?_

She continued to fuss with her hoodie as Lucas slowly walked down the stairs, stopping at the bottom stair and leaning on the banister, watching Olivia search for her phone with mild amusement.

"Hey, you don't remember seeing my phone anywhere do you?" she asked, glancing over her shoulder. She also spared half a second to notice that their luggage that they had left by the stairs on when they first entered the cabin had been removed.

Lucas shrugged, and replied simply, "You had it with you in the truck."

Olivia felt her face get hot, she felt like an absolute fool.

"It doesn't matter anyway," he continued. "You're supposed to be on vacation, remember? The boss's order." He came over to wear she was still standing at the coatrack, all but turning her hoodie inside out looking for her missing phone.

"Whatever messages you get can wait until after our weekend, right, baby?" he asked her, placing a hand on each of her shoulders. "Look at you, you're all tensed up now. Just come in the kitchen with me and have a glass of wine. That'll loosen you up."

' _Is he on to me or is he just pretending?'_ Olivia asked herself as she let him let her into the kitchen _. 'I don't even know who this man is. What is he playing at?'_

Lucas pulled out a stool at the counter in the middle of the kitchen and guided Olivia to it, making sure she sat down all the way before removing his grip on her shoulders. She stared at the marble countertop in front of her, racking her brain for what to do next. It was quiet, too quiet.

"Is Jerry alright by himself downstairs?" she asked, desperate to change the subject.

"Oh, Jerry? He had to leave." Lucas answered calmly as he busied himself with the bottle of wine he must've packed with him earlier that morning.

"Leave?" Olivia inquired, her attention completely diverted. "Did he say why?"

"Nope, he just said he had some other business to take care of." Lucas pulled open a kitchen drawer and rummaged around for a bottle opener.

While his back was turned Olivia looked behind her towards the door that led to the basement off the kitchen; Jerry's toolbox was sitting on the floor next to the door, the very same one he had been carrying with him when he came in. She also realized that she had just seen Jerry's jacket, hanging on the coatrack by her hoodie still dripping wet from the rain.

She didn't need any further proof; Jerry the maintenance man was still in the house. What had Lucas done to him? She would have to make a move, and soon.

At the present Lucas had found both the bottle opener and a pair of wine glasses. He poured a glass for Olivia and then one for himself. If he noticed that Olivia was riled up about anything, he chose not to show it. He remained completely calm and lucid, even after another thunder clap broke the brief silence. He handed Olivia her glass of wine and held up his own glass in front of her.

"To a beautiful woman," he said with confidence, "And may this weekend give me the chance to get to know her unlike any other man before me." He smiled proudly at Olivia and his big, hazel eyes twinkled in his head. Olivia forced herself to return the smile as they clinked their glasses. Something about the way he looked at her made her heart skip a beat, and not in the way that it had done before. She couldn't stand to look at him another minute. As she gulped down her wine her eyes wandered around the elegant kitchen. Her gaze finally settled on a fire extinguisher that hung on a hook on the side of a cabinet that was next to the stainless steel fridge. She continued to stare at it intently, weighing her options, a hopefully foolproof plan beginning to take shape in her mind.

She returned her gaze to Lucas who was leaning over the counter, watching her closely. She stared him directly in the face as she finished off her glass of wine, praying that he had not spiked it when she wasn't looking. She held the empty glass up in front of him.

"Top me off?" she asked, giving him a cunning smile.

Lucas looked from her glass back to her before taking it. "My pleasure," he answered.

Before he turned around again Olivia got up and circled the counter where he could see her, pretending to suddenly be interested in the décor. "This is a pretty fancy kitchen. This whole house is amazing really. I can't believe people actually spend this kind of money on a second house up in the middle of nowhere." She ran a hand across the wood paneling along the walls in mock fascination.

"You'd be surprised at how much bored, rich people are willing to spend to impress people they don't even care about." Lucas turned his back once again to refill Olivia's glass and he could feel her presence still on his left as she continued to help herself to the wonders of the kitchen, opening and closing cabinet doors and knocking on the marble countertops. "Everything from boats they never sail and cars they never drive. But I guess it's like they say, one person's nectar is another person's poison."

He turned around towards his left to hand Olivia back her glass of wine but she was no longer there. As he turned to his right to locate her he was met full a face full of high pressurized foam. He cried out in shock and dropped both his and Olivia's wine glasses to the floor, shattering them completely. Olivia continued to spray the contents of the fire extinguisher directly into his face, watching as Lucas tried to shield his eyes as he stumbled backwards towards the stove. When Olivia was assured that she had blinded him enough to make a break for it, she struck him across the face with the bottom of the extinguisher for good measure. The moment she heard him drop to the ground she took off back upstairs nearly tripping as she ran. Instead of going back into the guest bedroom she threw herself into the master bedroom, locking the door behind her. Flicking on the lights she frantically searched around the room for a phone. If she had had more time she might've called her squad back in Manhattan but they were at least a 2 hour drive away and she didn't how much time she had. She spotted a landline phone sitting on the nightstand, grabbed it and immediately dialed 911, only to be met with the most depressing sound she could've heard at that moment: dead air.

Lucas had cut the phone lines.

Before she could come up with an alternate plan there was suddenly a loud banging on the locked bedroom door.

' _It couldn't be. How did he get upstairs so fast?'_

As the banging continued, Olivia crouched down by the nightstand, phone still in hand. She looked behind her at the floor length window, considering the possibility of her jumping out of a second story window to the wet ground below with only minor injuries. She never got a chance to find out for at that moment the banging suddenly ceased ad was replaced with the unmistakable bang of two gunshots.

Lucas was attempting to shoot off the doorknob. Olivia dropped the phone and was prepared to barricade herself into the adjoining bathroom when she heard two more gunshots; the doorknob was hanging loosely now. Olivia's spine went rigid as Lucas used his foot to kick the door in with brutal force. She watched in horror as Lucas took two long strides into the room, a pistol in his right hand was pointed directly as her face; a sinister grin was spreading across his face. Olivia held up her hands as she pressed herself up against the far wall, weaponless and completely out of ideas. Lucas still had foam in his hair and face as well as seeping into his shirt. His jaw was slightly swollen from the blow she had given him, but if he was in any pain he didn't show it.

"That was a stupid movie, Detective," he told her, his voice saturated with anger. He seemed to be even larger to her now and like a child she all but trembled in his presence.

She opened her mouth and summoned up all the courage she could muster. "Please, you don't have to do this," she replied, trying to keep her voice steady. "I can't call anyone for help, if you leave now you can give the police a head start. You haven't hurt me, I don't have any reason to drag this out. But you have to leave, right now…"

"Get in the bathroom, Olivia."

"What?"

He came towards her until her had her pinned against the wall, the barrel of the gun mere inches in front of her face. "Get in the bathroom, now. I'm not going to tell you again."

Olivia's heart pounded in her chest at his command. She wondered if she could disarm him or make a run from the door but all hope was loss when she felt the cold steel against her temple. Lucas used his gun to prod her into the master bathroom. Once they were both inside he turned on the light. The master bathroom was much larger than the guest bathroom she had cleaned up in earlier but the décor was just as elegant with white and silver accents. On the far side of the wall was a walk-in shower with a glass sliding door.

"Get inside," Lucas ordered, reading her thoughts. When Olivia didn't move he moved the gun from her head to the middle of her back and nudged her toward the shower. Olivia felt like she was made of stone and she felt stiff as she shuffled along.

' _Dear God, what is he going to do to me in here?'_

With his free hand Lucas slid open the door to the shower and pushed Olivia inside. She shrank against the white tile in horror and anticipation, keeping her eye on the gun. He kept the weapon trained on her as he began to kick off his boots.

"Don't you move," he warned her.

After taking off his shoes he used his free hand to unbuckle his jeans, never once taking his eyes off of his current hostage, enjoying the mixture of confusion and fear written all over her face. When he slid off his jeans and underwear Olivia couldn't take the sight anymore and turned her face into the wall.

This wasn't happening right now. This was all just a bad dream. Any minute now she'd wake up safe and warm in her bed, realize that it was her day off, then roll over and go back to sleep. The last month or so of her life would turn out to be just an elaborate dream. This man that she had fallen head over heels over would turn out to be just an illusion. There was no possible way that this Prince Charming would turn out to be her worst nightmare come true. She was not in this cabin house, miles away from the nearest police station about to possibly be assaulted in this bathroom at gunpoint.

Lucas had gotten completely undressed while Olivia's head was turned, and she only knew it when he stepped inside the shower and slid the door shut behind him.

"No, Lucas, please, don't do this. Not here… I'll do anything…"

He didn't seem to take her pleading to heart and all but ignored her as he turned on the showerhead. As he stood underneath the spurting water, Olivia attempted to stand as far away from him as possible, noticing that he purposely made sure to stand between her in the door. He washed the foam from the fire extinguisher off of his hair, face and body, at one point even turning around to face Olivia so he could savor the look on her face. He smiled at her contentedly as he ran his hands through his hair, then closed his eyes as he let the water mixed with foam poured over his face, down his body, then down the drain. His shower didn't last long, and when he was finished he reached behind him to turn off the water. He couldn't take his eyes off his captive, who was positively fuming now. He wiped his hands over his face and flicked the access water at her, and she flinched as the water hit her face.

He moved closer to her, backing her up as far into the wall as she could go. He reached up a dripping wet hand and gripped her jaw in his hand, using his other hand to grab one of the huge, fluffy blue towels that were hanging on the side of the shower. He used the towel to first wipe off his face, then Olivia's face, staring directly into her wide, brown eyes the entire time. If it was at all possible he pushed her up against the wall even further, his pelvis brushing up against her, making her shudder.

"You know what's ironic?" he whispered, water dripping from his face onto hers. "Not that long ago, I had you practically begging for this."

Olivia sighed and wrenched her face out of his grasp. He stared at her for one last moment, silently admiring her courage, then slid the shower door open and stepped out, picking up the gun that he had set on the sink. He blocked Olivia from exiting the shower herself and forced her to stand and watch while he dried himself off. Then to her surprise, he slid his unsoiled jeans back on, and he saw her expression of astonishment. He smiled and shook his head as he zipped them up and buckled the belt.

"Oh don't worry, baby, we've got some time to kill before I give it to you good. I'm not in a hurry though. Business before pleasure as they say."

Finally he stepped back and used the gun to gesture for her to come out of the shower, which she did with caution. "Which reminds me," he said forcing her back into the master bedroom, "If you try anything stupid like what you pulled earlier, I will shoot you. And then I'm going to pull up and seat and watch you bleed out, slowly. I'd planned on keeping you around for a while but if that's how you want to go out, be my guest."

"Is that what you did to Jerry?" Olivia demanded, turning to face him.

Lucas stared at her as though astonished that she would even have the audacity to ask him such a thing. He had just opened up his mouth to give her response when there was a sudden flash of lightening accompanied by a loud clap of thunder. Then without warning the two of them were plunged into complete darkness. Thinking fast Olivia quickly punched Lucas as hard as she could where she last remembered seeing Lucas's abdomen, knocking the wind out of him. When she heard the distinctive "oomph" she took off towards the door and into the hallway, relying solely on her memory as she felt around in the dimness of the house. As she all but threw herself down the stairs, she heard Lucas fire the gun in her direction and the sound of a bullet whizzing past her head. Thinking quickly she opened the front door and slammed it shut, then scrambled towards the back of the house she could hear Lucas on the stairs, knowing that at any moment the lights could come back on and if he was a good shot, she could be drawing her last breath within minutes. Standing in the hallway off of the kitchen she remembered the coat closet behind her and as quietly as she could felt for the knob, turned it, and got inside, quietly shutting the door behind her.

She heard Lucas pounding down the stairs after her, then nothing.

Olivia closed her eyes and covered a hand over her mouth so he couldn't hear her breathing.

Through the gap underneath the door, she could she the lights flicker back on in the kitchen. She heard Lucas's footsteps, slow and heavy, moving around in the front entry way. He called out for her as if calling to a beloved pet.

"Olivia!~~~" He sang out. "Olivia!~~ Where are you, my sweet?"

Olivia held her breath and resisted the urge to bite down on her bottom lip.

Lucas's footsteps got louder and she could hear him whistling cheerfully outside of the hall door.

"Olivia~ Come out, come out, wherever you are~~"

Olivia could clearly see his shadow falling across the hallway in front of the closet, and she closed her eyes waiting for the closet door to be thrown open at any second. Instead she heard his footsteps retreat back towards the living room. After a minute of more whistling she heard the front door slowly open then close again. Huddled in as far as she could go inside the coat closet, Olivia listened for him to come back. Ignoring the tightening of her muscles from being stuck in their uncomfortable position, she forced herself to wait and come up with a plan.

' _If he's looking for me outside I could just lock the front and back doors. It might not keep him out for long but I could buy myself some time. I need to find a weapon or something I can use to subdue him until I can call for back up. Damn, I still have to find Jerry's body too.'_

Olivia counted the seconds that went by as she waited in total silence. She reasoned that if she waited too long he could come back and surprise her and she would have waited for nothing. Taking a deep breath she pulled herself up into a hunched over position and gingerly turned the doorknob, slowly pushing it open; not a single sound. She spared a moment to take notice of the spilled wine and shattered glass on the kitchen floor.

"There she is."

By the time Olivia realized his presence behind the closet door it was too late. Before she could try to make a run for it Lucas collided the butt of his gun into the back of her head. She was out cold before she hit the ground.

"Amazing," Lucas scoffed. "The players change but the game always stays the same."

* * *

 **Oh hell no. . .what's going to happen to Olivia now? Where is Jerry? What about Trisha? How is the squad going to get to her? Will this freaking storm ever end? Gotta check in for part 2 to find out. . .X-) Please comment/review! Constructive criticism is welcome!**


	18. Mists-Part 2

**PLEASE READ!**

 **HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYBODY! Welp, this is it! The final chapter of my first published fanfic. I know you all have waited a long time for this as I have spent the last 2 months trying to come up with a suitable ending for this heart pounding story. I sincerely hope that you guys have enjoyed it and I hope that the finale meets your expectations or shocks you if nothing else. I just want to say a couple of things first.**

 **1) The title of this story and all the chapters are named after various Korean pop songs whose lyrics reflect the events that occur in that chapter. The main title of this fic "Damaged Lady" is the name of a song by the girl group KARA and I chose it because the lyrics matched what I really wanted Olivia's mindset to be by the close of this story (and I highlighted the chorus of the song in the beginning of this chapter).**

 **2) Last but not least I owe a couple of people some personal shout-outs. To LaceNLeather24 and Aspurgeon, you two were the ones that really kept this machine going for me. All of your constant messages, reviews, and words of support really kept lighting that fire under my butt that I needed to get up and type chapter after chapter after chapter. I will never be able to thank you enough for helping me not only not give up on this story, but to finish it, period. YOU BOTH ROX MY SOX!**

 **To sxuxfanfic and maigonokaze, both your respective fanfics are what made me want to type/publish this story in the first place. You both are gifted writers and one of the reasons I took so long completing this fanfic is because I was afraid it wouldn't be as good as yours X-/ You raised the standard for me when it comes to reading/writing fanfictions and I appreciate you both reading and critiquing my work. I'M IN YOUR DEBT!**

 **And of course to my "sensei" rainbow-brite13, who kind of technically co-wrote this fanfic with me. In the beginning she helped this little birdie to spread her wings and fly and midway through she kicked me out of the nest and was like, "FLY, MY PRETTY, FLY!" But seriously, her fanfic was also a main inspiration for me coming up with this story. For a while it felt like I was only writing this story for her :-P I hope this finale pleases you the most. Thanks for everything, I LOVE YOU!**

 **Oh yeah, and to the two people whose faces you should all see in every chapter of this story, Mariska Hargitay and Pablo Schreiber! I love them both, I'm crazy about them both, and on my life I hope neither of them ever finds this story.**

 **Big fat "thank you" to every one of you awesome people who stuck with this story from start to finish. Imma shut up now, ENJOY!**

* * *

 _ **I just went through a break up, I used to be so happy too**_

 _ **I'm hurting like this right now, but what are you all so happy about?**_

 _ **I feel so miserable that I could die**_

 _ **I don't care about being a lady**_

Olivia felt as if she were swimming somewhere between a dream and reality. She had felt this feeling before, the nagging feeling of having to pull herself out of bed after spending most of the night tossing and turning. At any moment she expected to hear her alarm clock go off after which she'd pull herself out of bed and load up on coffee before preparing for another day of work. Part of her just wanted to lay there forever but she knew that she would have to get up eventually. She slowly opened up her eyes and noticed the pale light from the moon shining into the room on the floor. The thunderstorm had finally passed over and now only the wind rustling through the trees could be heard. Was it really still the middle of the night?

Olivia tried to lift up her head and realized that she could not. In fact the back of her head was positively pounding with pain and for a moment she couldn't remember why. When she attempted to place a hand on the back of her head, her hand would not move but felt like it was actually being pinned above her head by something she could not see. As the wave of panic consumed her, Olivia gradually let her eyes adjust to the dimness around her. It wasn't until she recognized the tall, dark figure standing at the foot of the bed that everything came flowing back to her.

She had not been dreaming at all. This nightmare was very real.

She made another feeble attempt to sit up on the bed and nearly felt her heart stop when she realized that her hands were in fact bound above her head to the wooden posts on the headboard of the bed. As if the pain and nausea weren't enough, she was absolutely helpless. Lucas had been standing at the end of the bed listening to her struggle with mild amusement. In the darkness of the room only his face was illuminated by something he was holding in his hand; her cellphone. He continued to examine it closely, sliding his finger across the surface, his eyes wide as they scanned the text on the screen.

"There she is."

When he finally broke the silence the sound of his voice cut through Olivia like cold metal.

"That was some lame crap you pulled downstairs, Detective. I expected a lot better from one of New York City's finest."

He took a few long steps, Olivia's phone still in his hand, and went to go stand in front of the floor length window and peered outside.

"We've got a long night ahead of us," he continued. "Not that I'm in any real hurry but I think I've waited long enough. What do you say we get started?"

Olivia groaned in pain as she turned her head to look at him, her hands twisting in the ropes above her head. She still had no idea just who this man was. If he was truly the monster he was proving to be, she had to buy time, as much as possible. What the hell had she gotten herself into?

"There's something I've got to know before we start though," he stated, holding up her phone so she could see it. "Who's Elliot?"

Her heart skipped a beat.

She had not heard anyone say that name in months. Had he been going through her old text messages this whole time? How much did he know already?

"I asked you a question, Olivia. Who's Elliot? Have you been creeping around behind my back since we started going out?"

"What is this about, Lucas? What do you want from me?"

He continued on as if he had not heard her and turned his attention back to her phone, using his thumb to scroll through the undeleted text messages.

"What is he, your ex-boyfriend? High school sweetheart? It looks like you two were pretty tight, until about 6 months ago. What happened?"

"Lucas, please, just untie me. I'll tell you everything, just let me go first."

"It's just that you've sent him seven text messages in the last six months and he hasn't responded to a single one." He paced back over to the bed and sat down at the end near Olivia's feet, carefully reading each of Olivia's texts out loud.

"'El, it's Liv, we need to talk. Call me.' 'Elliot, how are you doing? Please call me back soon.' 'It's been a long time. I really want to hear from you. Please don't ignore this, call me soon.' Boy, you must've really pissed him off. It was probably all those boring stories you tell." He finally looked away from the phone and looked into her face, trying to read her mind. She refused to look at him.

She had dealt with perps long enough to know the game that he was playing.

"You still don't want to tell me?" he asked, waving her phone in front of her. "That's fine with me."

With his right hand he suddenly reached into his side pocket and pulled something out. She couldn't see it but she instinctively flinched when she heard the loud *flick*.

Lucas held the blade up and tilted it into the moonlight so she could see it better and was pleased with the look of absolute horror on her face. Her heart began to pound and her breathing escalated, she wanted to scream but didn't dare. Lucas moved himself up to the middle of the bed and using his thumb he gently lifted up the bottom of Olivia's t-shirt and slowly ran the flat side of the switchblade across her waistline just below her navel. The coldness of the blade against her warm skin sent a wave of panic through Olivia's body and she once again tugged at the ropes binding her hands together, terrified that at any moment he would stab her in the abdomen and disembowel her before letting her bleed to death all over the bed.

No, she couldn't die here. Not like this.

"Please," she whimpered, "Please, don't do this. Just tell me what it is you want. I'll tell you whatever you want. . ."

"Do you think he'd pick up if I called him right now?" Lucas asked in a sweet and breathy voice as he continued to slide the flat side of his knife across Olivia's abdomen. "Hm? Do you think he'd answer the phone for you? At this hour? What if I put him on speaker phone and let him listen to you scream while I cut you? Do you think he'd still give a damn?"

Olivia's eyes began to well up with tears at the image of her ex-partner and best friend listening helplessly over the phone while this vile man violated her. But what hurt her even more was the thought of him ignoring her call, as he had done so many times already over the last several weeks. Both scenarios were too much for her to bear.

By now Lucas had stopped drawing imaginary circles on her stomach and was beginning to glide the flat part of the blade vertically up Olivia's body under her shirt, past her navel, over her rib cage, and in between her breasts until the point of the blade was lightly pressed against the base of her neck. Olivia trembled violently, cursing herself for letting her fear bubble to the surface. Lucas could feel Olivia's heart pounding underneath his hand and he relished the sensation.

"Why?" Olivia asked him in a shaky voice. "Why are you doing this? What is it you want from me?"

"Did you love him?" he asked her, still completely ignoring her pleas. "You hooked up a couple of times and fell in love? Is that it? And you figured that after all those years of dating losers, and mama's boys and closet cases that you'd finally met 'The One'? You wanted him to sweep you off your feet and take you away so you could live happily ever after? But there was someone else, wasn't it? Another woman? Once he got tired of you he dumped you and went back to her, is that what happened? And you took one look at me and decided to use me as your rebound to get back at him? Tell me I'm wrong, Olivia. What do you think Elliot would say if he could see you like this right now?"

She tried to ignore him but his words seeped into her ears and swam through her like poison.

"Well, I can't exactly say that I blame him for giving you the boot. I've been meaning to tell you this for weeks Olivia, but you're very boring."

She could stand a lot but this mental and verbal torture was too much. He continued to dig the point of the blade into her neck and she was sure that he would draw blood any second. She closed her eyes and bit down on her lip to try and stifle the sob that wanted to escape from her mouth.

"What do you think your captain and your squad would say if they could see you now? How would you explain this to them, hm? An officer in the sex crimes unit taking a sex predator as a lover, how pathetic. God, I'm actually embarrassed for you!" As he laughed as his own words Olivia forced herself to take in his words; he hated him for it but he was right about everything.

To have been strung along all this time by the very type of person she had dedicated her life to putting away, blinded by his charm and intelligence and unable to see the monster that he really was. Even after she had sworn that she would never let her guard down with another man again, how could she have been so stupid?

"Still don't have anything to say for yourself?" Lucas asked, interrupting her thoughts. He was tapping the side of the blade against her cheek now. "I really don't care, I just wanted to give you a chance to come clean and tell your side of the story. But if you don't feel like talking anymore I'm more than happy to get straight to the action."

Not wasting a moment, Lucas slid the blade out from underneath Olivia's shirt and tossed it and her cellphone onto the nightstand next to the bed and reached for the waistband of her pants, but before he couple pull them down Olivia suddenly blurted out, "You killed him, didn't you?"

He paused and stared at her, smirking, "Did I kill who?" he inquired innocently.

"Andy Lau," Olivia answered, her mixture of fear and anger bringing some of her courage back. "You murdered him the night of the retirement party, didn't you?"

"Oh, him? Yeah, that wasn't exactly part of my original plan."

Surprisingly he released his grip on Olivia's pants and got off the bed, as if having an unexpected change of heart. He turned his back to her and fiddled around with something on the dresser that she couldn't see as he continued.

"I recognized him from that time I was in Boston, didn't think he'd remember me though. I knew it was only a matter of time before he'd blab about it to someone else. Like I said, it really wasn't part of my plan to take him out but I couldn't risk him ruining our weekend getaway. And look on the bright side, if it hadn't been for him I wouldn't have found the keys to his family's cabin. When life gives you lemons, right?"

It made sense to her now. After they left the party Lucas had dropped Olivia off at home, claiming that he needed to go "run an errand" but promised that he would come back to join her of a quiet evening together. True to his word he was back within the hour, smiling and cheerful as ever. Lucas now turned away from the dresser back towards Olivia; he was holding something else in his hand that she couldn't quite make out.

"What about Trisha Moreno?" he asked her with mock curiosity. "Aren't you worried about her and her troubles?"

Olivia's eyes went wide as the gravity of his sentence weighed itself down on her. The photos of Trisha's injuries taken while she was in the hospital flooded her mind; the cuts, the burns, and the hand shaped bruises that littered almost every region of her body. She remembered the description Trisha had given them of her unknown attacker:

Caucasian male, early to mid-thirties, tall, brown hair, hazel eyes. . .

Olivia was moved once again to find her voice. "You-you kidnapped Trisha Moreno. You're the one we've been looking for this whole time. . ."

Lucas inhaled and exhaled deeply in ecstasy and smiled proudly.

"Mmm, littleTrish. Now that's a ride to write home about!"

Olivia shifted around on the bed, the ropes chafing the skin around her wrists and she twisted her hands around in them.

"It was all you, all this time. . ."

"She was definitely a fighter, and I respect that in a girl. But trust me, by the time I was done with her she had already thrown the towel in. You know what I really miss? The way she looked at me while I was doing her. I can't describe it, but it's like she was trying to set me on fire with just her eyes, none of my girls had ever done that before. But she's done, probably can't even have kids now. Do you think she still wakes up screaming?"

Olivia tried to ignore him but once again the truth had been set free. All the nights they were alone together, he had been touching her with those dirty hands. The very hands he had used to nearly beat Trisha Moreno to death. The bare hands he had used to kill a decorated detective at his own home, then had the audacity to touch her with those same hands later that night.

"You must be feeling pretty stupid right now, huh, detective? That poor girl lying in a hospital bed on the brink of death, while you were out having a night on the town with me. After you promised her that you would find the big, bad wolf that ripped her open, you rewarded me with a home-cooked meal. Detective Olivia Benson, pride and joy of the Manhattan Special Victims Unit, couldn't even collar a wanted man when he was right under her nose. Your squad wouldn't want you back, even if you were going to make it out of this house alive."

The tears Olivia had been holding back this whole time had finally spilled over. She wasn't sure if he could see her crying, but she didn't care. Lucas took a step forward away from the dresser so that he stood directly in the path of the moonlight coming in front the window.

"Don't worry, honey. You see I know that you would want the chance to apologize to Trisha if you could, so I'm going to help you out."

Olivia heard yet another *flick* but this time it didn't come from a switchblade; it was a Bic cigarette lighter. She could see the tiny flame dancing in the air in front of him as he carefully held the lighter in his hand and it only made the tears come faster. The only thing that could possibly be worse than bleeding to death from multiple stab wounds was being burned alive.

"No, please, anything but that," she uttered. "I'll do whatever you say, just please. . ."

Lucas immediately held up something that he had been holding in his opposite hand. From her position on the bed Olivia could just make out a gold personalized necklace with the name 'Trisha' molded in beautiful script with the letters about half an inch high.

"You see," he continued, "I figured out a way for you to show your shame for your actions long after they find your body. Maybe Trisha will get some closure knowing that you suffered after you failed to help her. I think that's fair, don't you? Maybe I'll give her the message myself."

He flicked off the lighter and showed Olivia an evil grin in response to his suggestion, and she knew that he wasn't joking. If he victimized Trisha a second time it would be no one's fault but hers. She let herself be deceived by this total stranger and now she and possibly countless other people were going to pay the price for it. Because she had failed to do the job she was sworn to do.

She wanted him dead.

"So that's what this is all about?" she spat at him before she could stop herself. "That's why you went through all of this trouble? The dates, the dinners, Andy Lau, it was all to prove to me what kind of monster you really are?"

"Oh no, honey, that was just the icing on the cake." he answered simply. "And I'm just getting started."

Without waiting another second, Lucas turned the lighter back on and while holding Trisha's necklace by the chain, he held her name up to the flame and waited several seconds before bringing it over to Olivia, who was twisting and turning wildly on the bed.

"No, don't! Please, don't!"

Lucas ignored her cries of mercy as he pulled down the front of her t-shirt and pressed the scalding necklace to the part of her breast just below her neck. The blood curdling shriek that followed was music to his ears. He held the necklace in place with his thumb for about ten seconds, not bothered by the smell of both their flesh burning. When he finally took it away from Olivia's skin, he proudly admired is branding work.

"Not bad," he remarked. "But I think we can do better."

Olivia was panting heavily when he spoke, and had barely caught her breath when she saw him set the necklace alight again.

"No," she choked. "No, stop! Please it hurts!"

"If I had a dollar for every time I heard that line." he said with total apathy.

Olivia's hands were cold now from the circulation being cut off at her wrists, but she continued to ignore the pain of the ropes cutting into her skin as she tried to pry them free, her mind totally occupied now with the skin on her chest beginning to blister from the extreme heat. It was unlike any other sensation she had ever felt in her life and she was helpless to do anything to stop it.

Her assaulter burned her eight more times over the course of the next twenty minutes, branding Trisha's name everywhere from her neck and the inside of her arm to her stomach and along her waistline. Olivia had all but screamed herself completely hoarse by the fifth time Lucas had noticed, which made him laugh.

"Relax, it's not that bad," he insisted as he crouched by the bed and used the back of his hand to wipe away her tears. "Little Trish got it much worse, you should know that by now. Would you like to press your luck or are you ready for round two?"

After a moment of struggling to find her voice Olivia managed to gasp, "Fuck you."

Lucas grabbed her face in his own blistered hand and whispered menacingly, "That's pretty brave talk from someone who's about to get raped to death." He kissed her hard and deep on the mouth before back-handing her across the face as hard as he could, completely stunning her.

Her mind was still spinning when he climbed on top of her and straddled her hips, running his fingers across the skin underneath the elastic of her pants.

This was it.

No more fighting, no more chances.

Her body was covered in burns and blisters, and this monster was truly going to violently rape her before finally ending her life. During her line of work she had occasionally pictured all the possible scenarios of how she would meet her death. Just how much time she had left didn't seem to matter anymore. She had no more fight left in her anyway.

Olivia closed her eyes and gave into lying motionless on the bed, mentally preparing to accept the inevitable when something in the darkness grabbed Lucas from behind and knocked him to the floor.

Olivia could barely make out the silhouettes of Lucas struggling with someone, or something on the floor beside the bed. She could hear the grunts and groans of punches being thrown for roughly a minute, before she heard an unmistakable cry of pain from Lucas, then silence.

The smaller silhouette stood up and after waiting a moment a chance to catch its breath, moved across the room to the switchblade on the nightstand where Lucas had placed it earlier, picked it up, and cut Olivia free from the ropes.

"Are you okay, miss? Can you stand up?"

It was Jerry, the maintenance man who had disappeared earlier that evening. Lucas, who was not accustomed to physically fighting off men of Jerry's size, had not succeeded in killing him but only knocked him out. Thinking he was dead, Lucas had left Jerry's body on the back porch, not bothering to discard it. Jerry had only come to after he heard Oliva's screams and after struggling to find a weapon to defend himself, had settled on a pipe wrench from his toolkit and came upstairs towards the sounds of her screams. Jerry now helped Olivia get to her feet and was prepared to usher her out the door and completely out of the house to safety when the sound of a gunshot broke the silence.

For a moment Jerry and Olivia could only stare at each other in shock and confusion. It wasn't until Jerry's knees buckled and she watched him crumble to the ground that she realized what had just happened; had she had more strength she would have screamed in total shock and horror. Instead she forced herself to look up from the pool of blood pouring out of Jerry's back and stared directly into the barrel of the pistol pointed at her. The light from outside illuminated the deranged face of the man holding the gun towards her chest, his finger on the trigger.

They held their gaze to one another for what felt like hours.

"Well that hurt like a son of a bitch," Lucas stated with a chuckle. "I don't think we'll be hearing anymore from good old Jerry." Using the gun he gestured towards the direction of the door. "Looks like we're going to have to take this downstairs, start walking, Olivia. If you try anything, I'll blow out your knees first and work my way up."

Holding up her hands in surrender, Olivia nodded her compliance and slowly started to make her way towards the door, carefully stepping over Jerry's body. Lucas kept the gun pointed at her as she moved, and she expected to feel hot lead piercing her body at any second. She was almost completely between Lucas and the door when Jerry unexpectedly let out a loud groan. When Lucas turned his head to look without thinking, Olivia seized her chance and made a huge step to the side before kicking Lucas's hand, making him drop the gun on the floor. When he made a move to reach for it Olivia kicked it away and attempted to knee him in the groin, but he anticipated her moves and grabbed her as he tackled her to the ground.

Grabbing her neck from behind Lucas began to squeeze as hard as he could.

"Say goodbye, Olivia," he growled. Olivia feebly tried to crawl away but he was too stronger for her. Seconds away from cutting off her air completely, Olivia saw the glimmer of metal laying on the ground in front of her, Jerry's discarded pipe wrench. Snatching it up, she slung it as hard as she could behind her head in the direction of Lucas's face. She heard the heavy metal make contact with his skull and he immediately released his grip around her neck and dropped with a loud *thud* to the floor right in front of the bed.

Olivia placed her own hands around her neck and took several deep breaths as she watched Lucas carefully, making sure that he was really knocked out for good. She stared at him and waited for any noticeable signs of life. When he didn't budge she pushed herself up to her feet, swaying slightly from the mixture of pain and dizziness from nearly being strangled to death. She took one shaky step towards the door, the floorboard creaking beneath her shoe. As if resurrected by the sound of the floorboards, Lucas sat up and was on his feet in a flash. This time Olivia was facing him so she could properly defend herself.

They grunted and groaned as one relentlessly attempted to subdue the other. As they struggled Olivia got a few good kicks and punches in but Lucas was stronger and taller than she was, making it difficult to bring down such a large man. Lucas finally managed to pin Olivia's arms down to her sides and summoned all the strength he had to fling her into the far wall. Olivia lost control of her balance when he released her and she crashed headfirst into the dresser instead, knocking her unconscious on impact; it was her turn to hit the floor with a *thump*.

Lucas's sweat and blood from his head trickled down his bare chest as he stared down at his prey. He knew that she didn't have any fight left in her at this point. She was already weak with pain and the injuries he had just given her and it was slowing her down. He couldn't tell if she was still alive or not, but he didn't care. He was going to take her right here, right now on the floor, dead or alive. Once he was finished with her he'd snap her neck and find someplace to dump her body deep in the woods surrounding the cabin. It would be days or even weeks before anyone found her.

Getting excited at the thought of his next plan of action Lucas slowly stalked over to Olivia's body, his hands already busy with unbuttoning his jeans. He had just gotten the zipper of his jeans down when Olivia suddenly lifted her head, pointed his own gun at him and pulled the trigger, shooting him in his right arm. She had purposely pretended to fall unconscious in front of the dresser so she could reach for the gun she had kicked under it only moments ago.

Lucas stared in amazement from Olivia to his wounded arm, either stunned by the pain of his own injury or shocked that he had not anticipated Olivia's gambit in the first place. He staggered for a moment then lunged at her, prompting Olivia to sit up and shoot him again, this time in his shoulder. The impact of the bullet stopped him for a moment as blood began to pour out of his wounds but he once again seemed hardly fazed, as his eyes were completely wide with fury now. He yelled as he lunged for Olivia one more time and she screamed right back as she got to her feet and pulled the trigger of the gun again and again and again until it was empty. Lucas staggered backwards with the impact of every bullet that pierced his towering frame until he threw the weight of his body into the floor length window behind him. The glass broke as his body went through it and Olivia could only stare in astonishment as he plummeted down the roughly 15 feet to the ground below.

Olivia ran to the now destroyed window, gun still in hand despite it being out of bullets and peered down below. There he was, lying completely motionless in the shrubs below the window on the side of the house. It wasn't a particularly long drop, but Olivia knew that depending on how he landed he might have actually snapped his own neck. Remembering the innocent civilian still with her in the room, Olivia turned her attention back to Jerry. She dropped down to her knees beside him and tried to roll him over on his side.

"Jerry! Jerry! It's okay, I'm a police officer, I'm going to get you help. Just stay with me, honey. Jerry! Jerry, can you hear me?"

But when she checked him for a pulse, she realized that he was already gone. Shot in cold blood trying to protect her. Olivia sighed heavily and with regret, let Jerry's body roll back onto his stomach. There was nothing else she could do for him right now. With much pain she dragged herself the few feet over to the nightstand and grabbed her cellphone where Lucas had placed it earlier next to the switchblade. After calling for back up, on a whim she went back to the window and looked back down where Lucas's body had fallen.

It was gone.

Olivia blinked and shook her head in case her vision was playing tricks on her but it was no trick.

Lucas had completely vanished.

* * *

It took nearly 40 minutes for the nearest police precinct to arrive to the house, but it was three hours before her own squad finally reached her. When they finally arrived the sun had already risen and the area was surrounded with a thick, cloudy mist. Insisting that she didn't need to go to the hospital the paramedics had already treated her for her burns; they didn't bother asking her why her attacker had burned someone else's name into her flesh. After she answered questions for the crime scene unit, she sat back and watched as a team of men carried Jerry Thompson's covered body down the stairs on a stretcher.

 _He saved my life, and now he's dead because of me._

That was all she could tell herself.

The property was still crawling with law enforcement when her squad finally arrived, and it was her partner Amaro who got to her first. She got to her feet when he walked into the room but couldn't for the life of her think of what to say.

"Are you okay?" he asked with sincere concern. "We thought we were too late."

Olivia shrugged and answered plainly, "I'm alive. I'm tired, but I'm alive."

Nick stared into her face, trying to find his own words of comfort and encouragement. He had just begun to explain to her how they found out about Lucas's criminal background when Captain Cragen walked in with Captain Mendes from the nearby precinct whom she had spoken to a few minutes earlier. When she explained to her about Lucas disappearing after falling out of the second floor window, Mendes sent a search party of 15 officers into the woods surrounding the cabin.

"Did you find him?" she asked hopefully.

Cragen and Mendes glanced at each other awkwardly, trying to decide which one should give her the news. Cragen spoke first.

"We're canvasing the entire area within a 2-mile radius, checking anyplace Williams could have ducked into on foot within the last 3 hours. We've got the canine unit out in the woods trying to pick up his scent but, so far it's not looking too good."

It took Olivia a moment to allow her mind to catch up with the truth of his words, but she still refused to accept them. She slowly shook her head in disbelief. "I don't understand," she said with exhaustion. "He had a head injury, I shot him three times and he fell out of a shattered window from the second floor. How far could he have gone with his injuries slowing him down? That's impossible. . ."

It was Captain Mendes's turn to speak now. "Don't worry, Detective Benson. We're not giving up yet. My squad has already been instructed to continue their search for the next twenty-four hours, and we've already put out an alert for a man matching his description to every news station in New York. It's only a matter of time before we catch this guy."

Olivia nodded but something in her gut told her that she wouldn't be that lucky.

"Thank you for everything, Captain Mendes. We'll be sure to keep in touch. But for the time being I think it's best if we got Detective Benson back home so she can rest." Cragen nodded towards Amaro who took the hint and gently put an arm around Olivia as he guided her towards the front door. As they exited the cabin, they ran into Fin and Rollins who had been waiting outside, not wishing to "crowd" Benson more that she already was. They didn't know the full details of what she had been through but it would only be a matter of time.

A few minutes later after Nick guided Olivia to the backseat of one of the squad cars and they had driven off, they sat in silence for a few minutes. She was almost too drained to even open her mouth but managed to mumble, "Something tells me I'm going to be put on temporary leave again." She slouched in her seat and pressed her forehead to the cold window. She thought she heard Nick reply to her statement but the soothing rocking of the car and road noise outside had already lulled her into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

 **1 month later**

 _ **"Law enforcement agencies along the east coast are still conducting a search for a man wanted for kidnapping, rape, and murder. Police are asking for any information leading to the capture of a man known as Lewis Williams, but may also be using the aliases of Lucas Williams or William Lewis. Williams is a Caucasian male standing at about 6 feet four inches. He has dark brown hair, hazel eyes and has gunshot wounds to his right arm and shoulder. Authorities insist that if anyone identifies Williams that he should be considered very dangerous and should not be approached for any reason. Civilians are advised to contact their local police if they spot Lewis Williams. The New York City Police Department will keep all media outlets updated with updates on the search as it becomes available and would like to extend their gratitude to the citizens of New York for their cooperation."**_

Olivia Benson tried her best to ignore the news brief on the television perched on top of the freezer section of her neighborhood corner store; she already had it memorized and the information had not changed within the last four weeks. She tucked a tress of hair behind her ear as she walked up and down the isles making her selections and placed them in her basket. True to her suspicions, after giving her full report of her relationship and interactions with the man whose real name turned out to be Lewis Williams, she had been thoroughly evaluated by a psychologist, and then advised to take some time off work to recuperate. For once, she had no objections whatsoever. The first few weeks were the hardest; wanting to be alone and yet not wanting to be alone at the same time, wanting to either eat constantly or not at all, needing to be preoccupied with something and yet wanting to just spend the entire day in bed.

She was grateful for the chance to take her mind off of work for a while, but as usual she could only go so long before going stir crazy. After discussing it at length with Captain Cragen the night before, he agreed that enough time had passed and he lifted his threat to have her arrested if he caught her trying to sneak into work; Olivia could come back to work on Monday morning. Olivia took her selections up to the front and made her purchase, not particularly in the mood for the polite chit-chat that Jake tried to make with her as he had done so many times before in the past.

She quickly started to make her way out the store but nearly stumbled into a young couple that was making out by the entrance. Olivia rolled her eyes and didn't bother to acknowledge them as she continued making her way down the sidewalk. Not wanted to spend more time in the cold than necessary, she kept her pace brisk and found herself absorbed in her own thoughts as she kept her eyes on the sidewalk, trying to figure out if she was truly mentally ready to come back to work. It wasn't the work itself that she was worried about; it was the thought of having to face her colleagues.

By now she was positive that the truth had managed to circulate around the employees of the Manhattan SVU. Olivia Benson, a decorated and experienced officer of the law, had unknowingly dated a violent sex offender for nearly two and a half months. She had spent nearly fourteen years putting away sex offenders and counseling their victims, and yet she could not even recognize this one when he smiled in her face. She had been wined and dined by a sexual sadist who had been only a heartbeat away from making her his next victim. She had been completely blinded by the vision of this seemingly perfect lover and she couldn't even see him for his true colors until it was almost too late. And to top it off, he had gotten away. Authorities in upstate New York had failed to find any trace of him in the woods outside the Lau's family cabin. They had even sent divers to search the nearby like, but to no avail.

The man had simply defied the laws of nature by escaping death and apparently vanished into thin air without a trace.

How exactly do you face a squad room full of people after that?

She could already imagine the whispering and the staring; it would be like high school all over again. But she would endure.

She had no choice.

Olivia groaned in annoyance as she clutched her grocery bags and sidestepped around a slow walking couple holding hands.

 _Can't they be in the way someplace else?_

No matter where she turned, it seemed like happy, young couples were popping up everywhere; kissing, holding hands, everywhere bodies were wrapped together in tight embraces in plain view of passerby. Had she just been ignoring them before?The sight of them all irritated her more now than ever.

 _Young, simple, naive love. If only they knew how much harder it gets, they won't be smiling like this forever. . ._

She finally made it back to her building and barely nodded at the doorman when he smiled and greeted her. She felt a slight pang of resentment at that but it quickly wore off.

After making it back to her apartment (and making sure to secure the front door behind her) she pulled off her coat and immediately started putting away her purchases. While storing her shampoo and conditioner bottles in the bathroom something made her stop and stare at her reflection in the vanity mirror. Urging herself to do it before she could change her mind, she took a long shaky breath and gingerly lifted the bottom of her t-shirt. She stared at the blistered scars around her abdomen and waistline, foolishly expecting the skin to have completely healed over by now. The section of skin on that part of her body had managed to heal better than the burns on the insides of her arms, of which she could still plainly read the faintly visible letters that spelled 'Trisha'. When she had asked the doctor about how long it would take the burns to heal completely, he had explained that it depended on the person, but admitted that for more serious second degree burns, even for the small ones that she had, that the burns would leave a permanent scar that would likely never completely fade.

The night that she almost lost her life would be forever engraved on her flesh with the name of a victim she had failed to give justice and closure to. It would be her permanent cross to bear, her scarlet letter. But the mental scar her trial had left her proved to be much more painful; she could still hear her tormentor's voice in her ear, his breath on her face, and his hands grabbing at her body. Oliva could hardly believe that there was a time when she actually welcomed his hands on her body.

'Not that long ago, I had you practically begging for this, Olivia. . .'

Olivia shuddered at the memory of this disgusting statement, and pulled her shirt back down before exiting the bathroom. She returned to the kitchen and had just finished loading up the fridge when she heard the loud ringtone of her brand new cellphone that she had placed on the coffee table. She had not had a chance to update her contacts so she quickly scanned the number that flashed on the screen to see if she recognized it.

She did.

She slid her finger across the screen to accept the call and answered with a casual, "Benson."

"Hey Liv, it's me."

"Fin," she spoke his name in relief. "What's going on?"

"Not much," he replied simply. "I just wanted to talk. Is this a bad time?"

"No, its fine, I was just taking care of some errands. How are things on your end?"

"Well about ten minutes ago Munch started in on his theory how aliens have invaded Earth and are posing as members of Congress, so I had to get out of there."

Olivia laughed a real laugh for the first time in weeks. Fin knew her better than most people, and if there was anyone she was glad to hear from at that moment, it was him. She pulled off her shoes and settled down on the couch, putting up her feet.

"You know I hate to admit it, but I actually kind of miss hearing John's rants and musings."

"Good to know. The minute you get back, he's all yours."

They laughed together this time, and Olivia felt as though a small piece of weight she had been carrying these last few weeks had been lifted off her shoulders.

"So, the captain says you'll be ready to clock in on Monday."

"That's the plan."

"How do you feel?"

Olivia shifted her phone from one ear to the other as she gave his question some thought.

"Better. Not great but definitely better."

"Well you know we've always got your back here, so don't even worry about it."

Olivia exhaled deeply; another weight lifted.

"I know, thanks, Fin."

"There's something else I should tell you too."

There was a brief awkward silence as Fin carefully chose his wording.

"I just thought I should let you know before you come back in. . .that no one here blames you for what happened."

Another awkward silence.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. I mean what that bastard did to you, whatever he said or did to get inside your head, that's totally on him, not you. Everyone here knows that you're one of the best cops on the force, and as far as we're concerned, this was just an isolated incident and it doesn't change anything. We don't see you any differently than before; none of us."

Olivia sat very still as she let Fin's words of sincerity sink in. He had always been straight forward with her, so she knew he wouldn't lie to her over the phone just to make her feel better. It was so good to hear from him.

"Liv, you still there?"

"Yeah, I'm here, I'm fine. And thanks, Fin, for everything. Thanks for calling me."

"Anytime. Well, I guess I've got to get back and make sure the gang hasn't died of boredom. Catch up with you on Monday?"

Olivia was positively beaming, "You bet. I'll see you later, Fin."

She hung up the phone and placed it back on the coffee table, suddenly feeling ten pounds lighter. She ran her fingers through her hair and sat in silence for a moment, contemplating the long road she had before her; there was a predator still on the loose, a victim that still needed closure, and a job that still needed to be done. Her problems and fears weren't completely gone, but she wouldn't be throwing the towel in just yet.

Remembering that she still had some chores to take care of, Olivia pulled herself up off the couch and headed towards her bedroom where a dirty pile of laundry was waiting for her. She had just started separating the whites from the colors when she heard her phone ring again.

 _'Really, Fin? When did you get so interested in having heart-to-heart chats all of a sudden?'_

She jogged back into the living room and answered the phone without bothering to check the number.

"Come on Fin, give me a break, I told you I'd see you in a couple of days. Don't tell me you've gotten soft since I've been gone. . ."

"Hi, Olivia,"

Olivia froze.

She was so shocked to hear the voice on the other line her phone slipped out of her hand and she barely caught it before it could hit the floor.

"Olivia, are you there?"

With her hands still trembling, Olivia picked up her phone and held it up to her ear, trying to control the emotion in her voice.

"Elliot?"

"Yeah. Yeah it's me, Liv. It's been a long time."

* * *

 **THAT'S ALL FOLKS! :-) Please comment/review, I'd love to hear your thoughts, good or bad!**

 **My next story will be a 'Pirates of the Caribbean' fanfic and that should be up within the next few months. You're obviously not obligated to read that one if you aren't a fan of that movie series, but if you think you might be interested, feel free to check it out! THANKS FOR READING!**


	19. Epilogue

**I came up with this at the last possible moment.**

* * *

 _Trisha Moreno sobbed uncontrollably into her pillow, wishing with every fiber of her being that she was dead._

 _She was just in so much pain; her arms, the chest, her back and in between her legs._

 _She was perfect._

 _The tall, shadowy figure on the far side of the room continued to patiently smoke his cigarette and he rummaged through her personal belongings, killing time until her sobs and shrieks had gradually subsided. When her cries had gone down to just shuddering gasps for air, he walked back over to the side of the bed and looked down at her._

 _The stars outside had disappeared and it would be daylight in a few hours; they didn't have much time._

 _He slowly reached down put the back of his hand against the side of her tear stained cheek and stroked it gently, as if petting a small kitten. Then to Trisha's surprise and horror, he leaned over and kissed her opposite cheek. Then he gave her another small kiss on her neck where he had bitten down on the skin earlier, and his touch made her wince in pain. He then kissed the places where he had burned her on her arms, and kissed the bruises on her chest and on her legs._

 _Trisha wanted to recoil from his touch, knowing that it had to all be part of some cruel trick._

 _The stranger then knelt down by the side of her bed and softly stroked her hair, as it was matted together with her own sweat and tears. Trisha turned away from him, unable to bear the sight of his face._

 _After a few minutes of this, he finally spoke to her in a soft, comforting tone._

" _I know, sweetheart, I know. It doesn't seem right does it? That all of this his happening to you right out of the blue. You're probably asking yourself. . .out of everyone else in the world, why did I have to choose you, right? Why you and why not someone else. I know exactly how you feel but, the truth is that it's not really up for us to question it."_

 _He stopped stroking her hair and began twirling one of his fingers around her curls instead._

" _But I'm going to tell you something, Trisha, and this is the truth; everyone is put on this Earth for a reason, and like my daddy used to say, stick to what you're good at. Some people are meant to fly planes, some people are meant to teach, some people are meant to paint or drive fast cars for money. And as for me, well, this is what I'm good at."_

 _He chuckled at smiled at his own admission, then dropped his voice down to barely above a whisper._

" _Once you find your true calling, you can run from it. You see you can't fight destiny, honey. And once our destiny is decided for us, we can never go back. We have to accept it, embrace it, and let it in. And when you do, no one can take that away from you. The day you realize what your purpose is on this Earth, life becomes so much clearer, so much more enjoyable. So many what I'm doing here with you doesn't make since right now, but one day it just might."_

 _He stopped twirling Trisha's hair around his finger and held up something to her face; a gold necklace with her name on it that he had stolen from the jewelry box on her dresser. It was the last Christmas gift her grandmother had given her shortly before she passed away. She stared at the necklace with wide eyes, crushed that he had chosen to take something so personal to her._

" _You see, Trish, my purpose in this world is to make sure that no matter where you go, what you do, who you meet or what plans or goals you may set in life, that I am a part of it all. It's my job to make sure that for as long as you're alive, you will never forget me. When you wake up first thing in the morning, when you get in the shower, when you're making dinner or on Facebook with your stupid little friends, you will remember me every step of the way. Because starting from this night, I will always be a part of you. And no matter how hard they might try, no one can ever take that away from you."_

 _Having made his intentions clear he took Trisha's necklace and kissed her name before putting it in his pocket._

 _ **I will always be a part of you.**_

"Miss Moreno? Miss Moreno, did you hear me?"

Trisha didn't realize that she had been spacing out this entire time, her eyes glued to the pale blue walls in front of her as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. She stared at the doctor standing before her with the clipboard as if just now noticing her for the first time. Trisha shook her head and cleared her throat.

"I'm so sorry, I just spaced out. What were you saying?"

"Well I was just saying that according to your examinations, the reason that you've been having trouble keeping down food is because you're 10 weeks into your first trimester," Doctor Baxter explained, flipping through the papers on the clipboard "It's nothing to be too alarmed about, it's actually quite common. Did you not know that you were pregnant?"

Trisha swallowed hard as she shook her head and tugged absentmindedly at her hands in her lap.

"No. No, I didn't."

As the doctor reassured Trisha that she could prescribe some medications that were safe to consume during her pregnancy, her voice began to fade out again, sounding more and more distant as though she were several yards away instead of standing only 5 feet away from Trisha in the examination room.

The only voice she could really hear right now was the voice of an eerie figure that had relentlessly cast a dark shadow across her world, refusing to release his hold on her. She could almost see him standing there in front of where she sat on the examination table, the doctor completely oblivious of his presence. And with every distant word the doctor spoke to Trisha about ensuring a healthy pregnancy, Trisha could see his face twisting into that proud, deranged sneer that had seared itself into her memory. In this image inside her mind she could feel his eyes glaring into her own as he opened up his mouth to say, _"You can't fight destiny, baby."_


End file.
